Beautiful Darkness - Maurice Mitchell (best inspirational books txt) 📗

one at that. His name was Harry and he’d been taunting rival gang members all night. He was showing off for his brother and I had a feeling it would be a problem. I didn’t think much of it though, because he wasn’t my friend, so I felt no reason to defend nor help him. In fact we’d almost got into our own battles in the past, several times. Eventually he said something to somebody in a passing car and that passenger turned out to be the wrong guy to say something to. In what couldn’t of been anymore then 15 minutes later, we continued down the street to find about 10 or more gang members turning the corner. They had items in their hand that I couldn’t really make out because of the distance, but they were close enough that I knew they were headed directly towards us. In my head I’m thinking you got to be kidding me, and to make matters worse I happened to have on their rival gang colors. An all red hat and practically all red sneakers. Before I could finish that thought, they were right in front of us and I saw two of the guys we were with take off. I should of done the same, I have no idea why I didn’t. We were standing in the middle of the street with tons of spectators surrounding us. That didn’t stop the gang from approaching, they were coming right at us. One of the guys immediately went straight for Harry’s face, he ran up and threw a flurry of punches at him. The rest of them either attacked Harry’s brother or the other kid we were with. I stood right there next to them and for some unexplainable reason, nobody attacked me. It was only four of us standing there and the other three had guys all over them, but I stood there without being bothered. It felt like I was in a bubble, I felt a presence around me, and to the gang it was as if I wasn’t even there. I’d never felt anything like that in my life and to this day I struggle to put it in words. While everybody else had to run or fight to avoid being attacked, I simply walked away. I walked across the street and watched the melee from a distance, fighting for colors wasn’t my thing. When it was all said and done, Harry and his brother paid a nice price for being involved in that scuffle. A few weeks later he seemed embarrassed and verbally attacked everybody for running, I was thinking this guy had to be an idiot if he thought I was going to help him in a gang fight that he provoked, especially when I didn’t like him in the first place. We’d end up almost getting in another fight over that, that kid just didn’t learn. I also saw on the news that the party I made everybody leave ended up getting shot up. Dozens of people were left injured and a few killed. My gut came through for me again, I dodged another bullet. I was left wondering once again what kept me out of danger that night, what kept the gang from attacking me. This time I was sure it was divine intervention, either that or Tay and all my guardian angels were hard at work again. Whoever it was, I was grateful and I still am, thank you.

Chapter 23 (Lessons In Love)

With Ray now in prison, Dolla recovering, and Kevin taking care of his kids I felt like the squad was divided. Alex was getting ready to graduate and was more focus on getting out of school. At that point I’d got into just as many fights in college as I did in high school, so I decided to just avoid most people all together. I felt like I couldn’t win anywhere I went so I went back to my outcast ways. I was even going to parties by myself, it got that bad. I was dealing with jealously, lies, and betrayal, and I didn’t deal with it to well. I learned fast that a genuine and honest individual wasn’t always an appreciated one. But Id rather be hated for who I am then loved for who I’m not, so I kept doing me, I was comfortable. I did what I do best and stayed to myself, talked to a lot of girls but very few guys. I didn’t talk to any of those girls on that level though, just friends, but one night all of that changed. I met a girl through a mutual friend, her name was Candice. She was a brown skinned petite girl with long hair and beautiful smile. I didn’t think much of it at first, just thought she was cool and enjoyed her conversation. Everything with her begin a lot slower then it normally did for me, we used to actually talk. She used to tell me about some dude she was talking to, so I didn’t think much about a relationship. I’d conversed with many girls in the past, but it was different with her. She used to pick my brain, she was a lot smarter then most girls I’d met. I could relate to her in ways that I couldn’t before. The more we talked the closer we got and eventually that dude she mentioned disappeared. For the first time in my life I was talking to a girl and it wasn’t based on physical attraction. I was attracted to her, but there was so much more, I was attracted to other aspects of her as well. I didn’t realize it then but Candice captured my mind, which in turn captured my heart. Most girls appear to try to go the other way and that never really worked out for me. I needed to be challenged mentally to feel anything real emotionally, I met my match. Before I knew it, we were up until 5 in the morning on many nights talking about any and everything. It was good, I had more then a girl, I had a friend, a confidante. It was real and I knew it, I couldn’t deny it for too long. More then just being smart, she was genuine and compassionate. She took a genuine interest in me and would get to know me better then I knew myself. We became best friends and she filled that void. In a time where I was so cold and filled with rage, she came in and helped me, she taught me to love again. As it is with every relationship though, the bad was never too far behind the good.

Being that I was in my first real relationship, there were a lot of lessons for me to learn. Some good, some bad, but lessons nonetheless. Like every other couple Candy and I ran into a few obstacles, some of which were extremely hard to get past. All in all she loved me, she cared for me, and she wanted to know me forever. She was willing to give anything, to have what most people dream of someday having. The bottom line was I wasn’t used to that, and I wasn’t prepared for it either. She presented a challenge I wasn’t ready to face, and it showed. For her I think it was easy, she was a good girl. She wasn’t running around talking to a bunch of different guys like most chicks I know. I think the thought of finding a guy she could spend the rest of her life with at such a young age was everything she dreamed of. It scared the hell out of me. I knew she was different then every woman I ever met and I wanted to spend my life with her because of that. Only problem was I felt like I hadn’t had the chance to live or accomplish much yet, I wanted to meet her when I was 30. Unfortunately, we don’t get that choice and I had to play the hand I was dealt, but I didn’t always play my cards right. Eventually me and Candy would start fighting, it seemed like we fought everyday. In the beginning of our relationship I was cold, simply because that’s just where I was in my life. She was sweet and kind hearted and fought to break through my shell. Well as time went on the tides would turn and she became a product of her environment. “When a good girl goes bad, she’s gone forever,” whoever said that knew exactly what they were talking about, and my good girl was gone, forever. See Candy couldn’t deal with all the little things young men are known to do. I wasn’t running around cheating on her, but I did do things like flirt and take numbers every once in a while. I wrote messages on Facebook, made friends at work and all of those types of things. I got caught every time and eventually it took a toll on her. I’m not sure when it all turned around for her, but I remember the day it all turned around for me.

I had a basketball game and I remember her being in the stands talking to this clown that I really couldn’t stand. I’d had scuffles and arguments with this dude on multiple occasions and I knew what his intentions were. Whether she knew or not didn’t matter, I was pist and I couldn’t focus. I was thinking I cant believe this girl is actually at my game and rather then watching it, she’s in the stands exchanging numbers with this dude. Who does that? Even in my times of exchanging numbers and flirting, I never did it in her face. He would eventually call and I got on the phone and made an ugly situation even uglier. Hands would end up being put on him and I carried that resentment with Candy for years. I tried to get past it, but it would haunt me and I became a lot more ruthless with my decision making. In her eyes she probably felt her actions were justified somehow with all the little things I’d done, in my eyes you never “get a man back like that.” At this point in our relationship my rage grew out of control and my temper really begin to show. I never hit her, but I did put my share of holes in the walls, broke many things, and had to take quite a few walks. Our arguments became more and more passionate and it was obvious we weren’t working. We ended up taking breaks, but always found ourselves back together. In that time though, she became the cold one and I became the one trying to hold things together. She would stop answering her phone for days and completely neglect me. I became outraged and started to find a bunch of different ways to release my anger. One of those ways was through talking to this pretty light skinned girl at work. That pretty light skinned girls name was Sabrina. Sabrina was a medium build, with black hair, and big lips. She was attractive and had really nice smile. She sat next to me and I used to tell her about the things I was going through with Candy. She used to do the same things all woman do and tell me how I would be so much better off single. She told me she was talking to somebody as well but it wasn’t serious. I thought she was attractive but never really thought more about it. We kept it cool for quite a while and just conversed at work to get through the hours. Eventually the fights with Candy became a little too much. I caught her trying to talk to some guy