Overcoming Circumstances - Belinda Slider-Baker (books on motivation .TXT) 📗

Blythe

I walked up the steps to the only home I ever want to remember.  The home I shared with my Granny.  I sat down on the cement steps and put my head on my knees.  I still couldn't bring myself to walk through the front door yet.  

As my head was lying on my knees, I realized how many memories took place on these steps.   Granny stood on the top step and told me that I never have to be hurt again.  I was home.  My best friend Marissa and I played on these steps from the age of four until we grew up.  We last sat on these steps together ten years ago.  We were both headed off to college.  I have only been back once since then and that was 4 years ago.  I packed up my Granny and moved her to Lexington, KY with me.  Granny always came to visit me in Lexington, so never had to come back to this small town which held some great memories with Granny and my best friends, Marissa and Cooryn, but it mostly reminded me of a past I want to leave behind.  Marissa grew up right beside me.  So, her mom and dad were a very big part of my life.  Marissa's mom (aka: my mom) would always bring Granny halfway to Lexington to meet me.  Granny would come and stay months at a time.  Finally, when she could no longer take care of herself, I packed her up and moved her to live with me.  She stayed in my little cottage house in my backyard.  Finally the best memory one these steps was when Cooryn kissed me.  We were in middle school.  It wasn't even a french kiss.  Cooryn taught me that night that not all boys were bad.  We were just becoming the best of friends when the kiss happened.  We were learning about each other's lives.  Cooryn's parents had just got divorced.  We talked about it at great lengths.  He was so upset and devastated over it.  It wasn’t just the fact his parents were no longer together.  It was how the divorce came about.  How his dad could hurt his mom the way he did.  He couldn’t stand the fighting.  He took the brunt of so many fights to protect his mom.  The question Cooryn wanted to know was why I was living with my Granny and where my parents were.  I remember looking into his eyes and telling him that neither of my parents wanted me.  My dad had his new family, and my mom had her boyfriend.  He just looked at me for a moment.  So he put his hands on my face and just lightly kissed my lips.  I froze.  He slowly pulled away as I was putting my head down to stare at the ground.  He put his hand under my chin to make me look at him.  I remember his exact words to me: 

"What did he do to you, Bly?"  

Tears just started streaming down my face and I told him I didn't want to tell him.  I was embarrassed.  He wouldn’t want to be friends with a freak.  So, I needed to go inside and get away from him.  I started to stand up from the steps.  He stood up with me.  He turned to face him.  He simply said: 

"Bly, he was a monster for hurting you.  Our friendship will never end.  You are not a freak.  I know what it is like to feel pain that you have no control over.  I wasn’t hurt like you in that sense, but I know what it feels like to be beat.  You feel helpless.  I felt like a failure.  I don't think any differently of you. I will never tell anyone what we talk about.   I know you have already told me that you would never say anything to anyone about what we talk about.  I know that is true, because you don’t even tell Marissa.  That Bly is what best friends do.  We talk about everything.  I know usually a guy and girl aren't best friends, but I am glad this has turned out the way it has.  I kissed you, because I knew when you said your mom picked her boyfriend, he hurt you.  Where is he at now?"  

I can see the tears rolling down my cheeks as I remember this night.  I remember telling him Chuck was in jail.  My mom left town.  My real dad wanted me to see him all the time, but he didn't want me.   The look in Cooryn's eyes told me everything.  He was pissed and hurt.  He said: 

"Standing on these steps I make a promise to you Bly, I will never hurt you.  I want us to stay best friends forever.  No matter what happens, I want us to always be best friends.  One thing I do promise you though is I will make you not be so scared of boys." 

I smiled at him.  I told him I was never scared of him.  I wish that night I would have told him I really liked the kiss.  I really did like his soft lips on my lips.  As I was finally done reminiscing about the past, I lifted my head and there stood Cooryn.  At first I thought it was just my imagination playing tricks on me, but he then started walking toward me.  I knew he was real.  I stood up on the steps.  He walked up to me and kissed me so very lightly on the lips.  A feeling that brought me straight back to the memory I was just reliving.  Oh, how much I really loved those lips on mine.  

"Hey Bly, I have missed you."  

I hugged him and told him how much I have missed him too.  Cooryn and I are still best friends, but we live in different states.  We talk through email, texting, computer chat and phone.  I told him I was coming up to finalize the sale of the home I grew up in.  I got to see Cooryn four months ago right after my Granny died.  Marissa and Cooryn both came to Lexington when she died.   I told Cooryn I was coming back to Greenville to finalize the sale of the house.  He knew how hard this was going to be.  So, here he is standing before me, and I can't believe it.  

I told him I haven't been able to walk inside the house yet.  It is a very small house.  It is not fancy by any means.  It was my home with my Granny though.  It is an 800 square foot home.  It has 3 bedrooms and one and a half baths.  I used to say it was the size of a Cracker Jack box.  Cooryn always used to laugh when I said that.  He grabbed my hand and asked for the keys.  I handed him the keys from my pocket.  He went and unlocked the door.  I hesitated as soon as he opened the door.  I knew this was going to be the last time I was in my childhood home.  This is the home that meant so much to me.  Cooryn grabbed his camera out of his pocket and started taking pictures of me.  I hit him but smiled at the gesture.  I stood in the bare house.  When I moved Granny out, Marissa's grandma lived with her.  It was ideal with mom and dad living right beside us.  I didn't make her pay rent.  She was family.  Marissa’s whole family was my family.  It took a long time, but I finally was able to call Marissa’s dad, ‘dad’.  He actually cried when I was able to hug him without being scared or shaking.  Dad died right before we graduated from high school.  He was killed at work.  The only positive thing that came out of the whole tragedy was mom wouldn’t have to worry about money the rest of her life.  She wouldn’t have had to worry about that anyways.  Marissa and I would have made sure she lived comfortably.  Mom just paid the utilities, but now, Marissa’s grandma can't live by herself.  I knew it was time.  With Granny being gone, I didn't want to come back to Greenville anymore.  I knew mom could come and see me in Lexington anytime I needed her.  Plus, we always gathered at Marissa’s three times a year.  There were so many memories here.  I had a lot of good ones, but the bad ones were bad.  A nice middle aged couple was buying the house.  They just needed something small and not expensive. It was perfect.  It was located in a great little neighborhood.  Mom really seemed to like them too.    

Cooryn kept my hand and led me to the back of the small house.  I knew exactly where we were going.  We were headed to my old bedroom.  He walked into my old room.  

"Bly, I can't even begin to tell you how many memories I have of this room.”

 He started taking pictures of me standing in my old room.  I took his camera and started taking pictures of him too.  We then took pictures of us both together.  He just held out the camera while he snapped a bunch of us together.  Then, I just turned and looked at the single glass window.  I remember so many nights that Cooryn snuck through that window.  I would call him, and he would be climbing through that window in no time.  I can't recall how many nights he would come and hold me after something didn't go right with a boyfriend.  Or, there would be nights Coor would come just to get away from his dad.  Coor lived with his mom, but he was forced to see his dad.  The courts didn’t really seem to care that his dad would hit him and his mom.  There was no “proof” so there was nothing the judge could do.  It was court ordered for Coor to see his dad so many days a month.  Well, one night Coors dad staggered home drunk when Coor was staying with him.  Coor showed up with a black eye, bruised side, and hurt hand.  I took pictures of him.  I also made sure to tell mom the next day.  She called someone, because Coor didn’t have to go see his dad anymore.  Coor kept thanking me for helping him get away from his dad.  I told him that is what best friends do.  Then there would be times we would just lay on my bed and listen to music for hours.  Sometimes we would talk and talk and other times we barely said a word.  Our friendship meant so much to me during that time in my life.  

"Bly, I will never forget the night that I had sex with you right there (he pointed to the wall) were your bed use to be."  

I just looked at him and tears began to stream down my face.  I told him that after that night everything changed between us.  We tried to make it work as a couple, but somehow we both started to guard our hearts from each other.  We weren't being open and honest about our feelings.   Cooryn already had walls built around him since his parents divorce.  I was one of the lucky ones who got a glimpse of the real Cooryn.  He wasn't the type of guy to show his feelings to people.  I remember the night we had sex on my bed.  He came to my window after he had been drinking.  I let him in.  We were just holding each other like we always did.  I was just ready to fall asleep when his hand decided not to stay dangling by my