Where you belong - Samantha Thomas (i have read the book a hundred times .txt) 📗

my table that moved over my bed, once I was finished I looked up he had his head down, at the baby cradled within his arms but his face was slightly inclined to me, at me. I looked up to him sneakily staring at me and that incredible dark feeling inside me exploded, making me catch my breath, and I gulped harshly and then the feeling was just gone. As soon as I noticed him looking at me he had turned away instantly, this all happened in a matter of 2 seconds flat, and he looked up at me, I’m not sure he saw I had seen him looking at me sneakily, “All done then?” he said I nodded my brows furrowed, in unease. I cocked my head slightly and was about to say something, “Cuz I gotta’ take one hell of a piss” he said hurridly hadning off the bay to me, and oddly that made sense. I let the feeling and question go and once I had the baby, he shot up, and turned to leave but not before taking the papers with him. He nodded, awkwardly and said “Mind as well return these” and hurried off.

Just a few minutes after the nurse came in, the kind one form before “I gotta take the little darling to get her hearing tested, and I’m going to give her a bath too. She’ll be back in a little bit alright?” I inhaled strongly of her sweet baby magical sent, kissed her beautiful little scrunched up face and handed her off, feeling in my gut that I really didn’t want to do that. That I never should have handed her off, that feeling of utter darkness came back this time with a vengeance. The nurse took notice, “Oh Honey it doesn’t hurt, she’ll be back real soon ok? I promise. She’s in good hands.” she said with another one of her warm kind smiles and I nodded she was right, it was ok. But I couldn’t change how I felt inside. I couldn’t change how I feel. Then they walked quietly out the door, I felt really tired again after all these emotional rollercoaster’s I had been sampling and felt like I should, and could take a small tiny nap. that’s what I did, but I never could shake that deep gut wrenching dark bad feeling inside me.


Where you belong.

Chapter 4.

I’m not sure how long I slept, but it sure felt like forever. Opening my eyes was slow at first, and my eyes were crusted filled, crunching apart with my efforts. I looked about my room, it was dark and empty. My baby hadn’t returned yet, and I sat up quickly to press the call button for the nurse. “Yes? How can we help you?” a nurse replied through the speaker on my bed, “Um, my baby. She’s not here, can I have her please?” I asked uncertainly into the tiny speaker.

She pressed the answer button back, but I didn’t hear her speak. Hmm…ok? Still nothing. “Hello? My baby please?” I said once she let go and she replied but her voice had changed, “One minute please, I’ll send your nurse right in.” and that was it I guess I had to sit and wait. Maybe ten minutes later a nurse showed up, one I haven’t seen before. She strode in my room and then stopped just before my bed, with the weirdest expression her face, one I just couldn’t make out. I cocked my head inquisitively and was just about to say something, when she made an attempt to speak. “Um…” and that was it that odd look never leaving her face. I was utterly perplexed, she didn’t have my baby with her, “Are you bringing me my baby? Where is she? Is she still getting her hearing tested?”

The nurse crinkled her brows, while she stared at me like what I had just said made no sense what so ever. I was getting more and more uneasy by the moment and it was bubbling up to the point of no return, “Look, I don’t know what the hell your problem is, but where the hell is my baby?” I spat tired of this game she was playing. The darkness inside me growing gaining speed, it took over my mouth and my heart, and she stepped forward and said, “Honey, the baby left with her parents thus morning.”

What?

I shook my head like my ears had water in them, incessantly shaking my head “What?” my hands held out in front of me palms facing her, held into a loose formation of hold on a minute, stop what your doing. “What the hell did you just say? Her parents? I’m her mother!” the nurses eyes rose high on her tight face and she took a step forward towards me her hands defensive like mine, and then something like shock passed through her features, and she stepped backwards.

“Listen lady this better be a fucking joke! Where is my baby?” I shouted my chest was pounding with ferocious thuds of fear from my heart. I was drowning. The darkness finally consuming me, taking control ripping the reins from my grasp, leaving in its wake deep lacerations. “I don’t know what’s going on here-Oh,” she said, drawing the last part out like something significant occurred to her, and she turned quickly on her heels, and left my room.

The lacerations, were laced with darkness, a poison so profound it propelled me right out of my bed. I ripped the covers off and landed on the ground fully intending to go after this nurse. As I stood I felt the blood pour down my legs, and it caused me to slip and nearly crack my head on the cold hard tiled hospital floors. Immediately righting myself, panic flooding me entirely, I ran after the nurse, “Hey! Hey! Stop where is my baby! I want my baby now!” she didn’t stop, but she turned around, and saw me coming after her. A look of pure terror incased her face and she sprinted forward, to the nurses station desk, alerting another nurse there. The other nurse’s head shot up and she too leapt out of her chair. But she slammed her hand down on the desk, and then an alarm sounded. The nurse whom I had chased disappeared and the nurse who had been sitting sprinted towards me.

“Calm down! Calm down! Go back to your room!” she shouted as she came at me a look of anxiety and determination plastered onto her face, and she charged right at me grabbing my arms as I shot them out flailing them into the air before me. “No! Where’s my baby! She said some people took her home! I want my baby! NOW!” I screamed into her face and the nurse clamped harder on my upper arms squeezing them, shaking me, not listening to anything I was saying. She just kept shouting “Go back to your room! CALM DOWN NOW!” I couldn’t calm down, now I felt crazy, sick, driven by fear darkness and pure terror. What was happening? Why wont they listen to me? I struggled with the nurse trying to push by her, screaming for help, but she never once faltered. Suddenly I felt such pain such sick twisted blazing hot pain, in my stomach as I dove to the side and back. I new I had to have ripped open my cesarean stitches.

And I felt faint I couldn’t stop though I had to find out what happened, where my baby was.

“A LITTLE HELP HERE!” the nurse screamed. And I was entirely engulfed in rage I shoved her with all my might, feeling another tear of some sorts from somewhere on my body, and I heaved just as I was caught from behind, by someone very strong. I was completely caught off guard, and whoever it was lifted me off the ground entirely. I was tossed backwards and up and I screamed with all I had “HELP ME!” to anyone who could here me. A hard cold hand clamped down onto my mouth, and as I was wrenched backwards I saw the nurse who had ran away. She was running towards me, fear staining her face and eyes, tears pouring from them, and as soon as she reached me I saw she had a needle, and she tried to stick me with it.

I struggled, twisting with everything that had no matter the sheer white hot pain it caused me, I managed to free one of my arms and I shot it forward to block her blow. I kicked the other nurse right in the chest, because whoever held me from behind wrenched me back again, and the nurse went flying down. My arms got caught, tethered to something from my IV, and I saw blood squirting in the air on all of us. The nurse with the needle came back and connected right into my neck as I kept on struggling. Soon I was back into my room, and people were flying to the scene from everywhere all with looks of utter horror on their faces.
And suddenly I felt like I wasn’t me, like I was a puddle pouring down whoever had me, and everything dripped heavily to the ground. I couldn’t see right, couldn’t breath right, I felt like a fallen log, as I was tossed onto my hospital bed and strapped down. I couldn’t see all the faces around me anymore they all dripped, flesh falling in clean drips to the floor, like hot summer rain.

I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head, and my mouth fell open going immediately dry. And that was it… my world was void of the darkness, the sheer terror, the pain was all simply gone.

Falling like hot summer rain.


*****************************************

“Daddy, I’m hungry.” I told daddy, I was so scared to tell him but I felt like my stomach would get sick again if I didn’t. He spun around fast, staring at me with that mean look on his face again the one that made me so scared, I began to cry I couldn’t help it. My hands were shaking and my legs where to, and daddy stomped over to me and grabbed me by the arms, “What the fuck do you want! I fed you yesterday if you hadn’t fucking puked it all up you would be fine!” he shook me, squeezing my arms, it burned, and he spit in my face as he screamed the words in my face. I let out a terrified wale “Please daddy! It hurts! Please stop daddy!”

He shook me more and more before he tossed me back, I fell to my butt on the kitchen floor. He smelled like that stink again, on his breath, the one from the brown bottle he always drank from and his eyes were huge and red. He stomped to the stove and threw a bag of Cheetos at me, most of them spilt to the floor. “Six fucking years of this shit with you! You should of died with your mother! Eat this shit, say another word to me and I’ll lock you outside again!” daddy screamed, he came towards me, I thought to hit me again, but he didn’t he just stepped purposely on some of the Cheetos and then he left out the back door slamming it shut behind him. I peed my pants. I was shaking so bad my teeth chattering so harshly, I chipped my new front tooth. Daddy didn’t come back and I sat there for a long time like that crying, shaking in my own pee because I was too scared to move. I was so