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go up there on my own and read. I loved to hear the birds whistle, and the mourning doves coo. I would pretend I was in the forest and no one could find me, until I wanted to be found. It helped me fall into the fantasy of my books, like I was in a different place. I think books became my best friends; books and my sisters. I was grateful for that but I still waited for my first real friend. I knew it would happen, some day.

Chapter 4


Time changes many things and many people. I did begin to talk to some of the kids in my class, but I never did meet that one true friend my dad always talked about. Billy Hamilton, the mean kid from kindergarten didn’t change much. He was still saying mean things. I wondered if he would ever change. Maybe one day he would be my friend. He wasn’t all bad.
Lucy and David graduated from elementary school and had gone on to high school. Liam and Katie "my younger siblings" started at West Park Public School. I would go see them in their classes at lunch just like Lucy had done with me when I was little.
Sitting at my desk, I would look out the window often and watch the wind blow the dry and crunchy colored leaves from the trees, stripping them naked for the winter snow. I would lose myself in the changing of the seasons. It was so beautiful to watch. I waited quietly in my seat for the teacher to start her class for the day. A knock came at the door; it was Mr. Grimes, our Principal. He stood there waiting to talk to my teacher and with him stood a little black girl. Her eyes were dark, and her skin was even darker than mine was. She looked around at all the kids in the room and then put her head down almost as if she were scared to enter the room. She seemed so scared or shy. I just sat and watched her and the grownups just like the rest of the class. Then she was taken to the front of the class by the teacher and introduced to everyone.
"This is our new student Allison James”, our grade 2 teacher Ms. Small called out. “She is new to the area, and to the school, and I would like to see our class make her feel welcome”. “Can we all say good morning to Allison”? “Good Morning Allison”, the class repeated. I smiled wide at her to make her feel welcomed. I was determined to make friends with Allison, and I hoped right away that we would be friends forever and ever. Not just because we were both the same color, but I needed a friend, and I knew my classmates were not very welcoming if the truth were told.
The whispers started almost right away before Allison could get to her new seat. It was like kindergarten all over again, but this time I was not the target. Allison kept her head down and took her seat two rows over towards the back of the room. I could see her from my desk. I kept peaking over at her, thinking about how I could get a chance to talk to her. At morning recess, all the kids ran out to the yard to make sure they got their full 15 minutes of free time. As usual, I stayed behind to help the teacher and I noticed that Allison had done the same. Ms. Small asked if Allison would like to help me with some special jobs during recess. I was happy when she agreed.
Allison and I sat at the round table and began to work on cutting out shapes Ms. Small needed for art class. “What is your name”? Allison asked me. Her voice was very low and cracking. “Karma”, I replied. “Oh! That’s a weird name”, she said in a whisper. Great, I thought here we go again, someone else to make fun of me. “Hmmm, well I don’t think it’s that weird”, I started, “my Momma believes in karma as a rule in, life and she always says that everyone should have a little karma in their lives”. “It’s weird”, she started again, “but I like it.” Allison added. Then she smiled a big toothy grin that took up her whole mouth. I noticed right away that her teeth sparkled.
“Thanks, I like it too”, I replied. “So where did you move from”, I asked. “Toronto, have you ever been there?” “No,” I quickly replied. “What was it like?” “It is the same as any big city really, lots of tall buildings and stores, and many cars, too many for my Momma. She hated things being so busy, especially after my Daddy left. That’s when she became scared of things in the city and wanted to move somewhere quieter. That’s what she told me anyway. In some ways I miss it, there was so much action going on, so much to look at right outside my front door. But I think that’s what got Momma all freaked out, so here we are in the suburbs.” “Do you miss your friends?” “Oh ya, I do, but Momma says I’ll meet new ones. I guess maybe you could say you’re my first new friend Karma.” “Do you want to be friends?” Allison asked. This was the first time anyone asked ME to be their friend. I was so excited; I wanted to jump at the chance to say yes. But I didn’t want to look silly. So I choked out a cool sounding, “ya sure Allison”. “Call me Ally", she said, “I like Ally better”. In my head I was spinning, that is it! I did it. I made a friend, and we would be true friends forever, I just knew it.
Ally had come from a big city, where people of different color and religions in school were common. She was not used to being bullied, as was the case for me at West Park Elementary. The bullies who loved to take daily pokes at me decided to start on Ally since she was now my friend. She didn’t deal with it in the same way I did. She was always thinking of ways to get back at those bullies. She realized very quickly that she had to be sneaky because her plans could very quickly turn on her if the bullies had the chance. So Ally waited until it was the best time for pay back as she called it. She didn’t have to wait long, but this time Ally was careful. She planned the best time and place for her payback, and I was happy to be a part of it. “Those boys wouldn't know what hit them, and it would teach them a big lesson”, Ally would say. “But the timing had to be just right”. Days passed, and those kids continued to call me names like nigger and dirty pig. Billy Hamilton would get away with throwing mud balls and calling me names. The teacher out in the yard would just turn her back. I know she saw what he did, but I also knew she would do nothing about it. So I didn’t get sad because I knew what was coming their way. All their name calling and mud balls didn't hurt that bad, knowing that. I knew that one day; they would learn how it would feel to hurt inside. The same way I felt every day when I had to listen to their name calling.

Chapter 5

Days turned to weeks and I wondered when Ally was going to put her plan in motion, or at least when I could hear about all the details of the plan. All she would tell me was she was "working it out" and that “it would be good”. As it turns out the boys were the least of our worries. Mrs. Chapman, a substitute teacher had taken over for Mrs. Small while she was away having a baby. Mrs. Chapman was short, and really round. She had grey hair with little flecks of black in it. Her face drooped, like gravity was pulling her skin down to the floor. Her eyes always looked black. The pupils were so big you couldn’t see any color in them. With her thick bushy grey and black colored eye brows, she always looked grouchy, and she was. She didn’t like me or Ally. We knew it even though she never said it out loud. She watched us like a hawk, always waiting for us to do something wrong. Even if it wasn’t wrong to another teacher, more than likely it was wrong with her.
One day after recess was over I was one of the last ones to come into class after getting my boots off in the hall, I straightened my boots and all of them looked lined up nicely. Mrs. Chapman came in to class after all the students. She stood in the doorway, and called me to the back of the class. She looked so angry and I didn’t understand why but then again there really didn't need to be a reason for her to be angry with me. "Karma did you do this?” She asked as she pointed to the boots kicked all over the hall. "No! Mrs. Chapman”, I stuttered. “Really Karma", "I find that hard to believe" "Who else would do such a thing; you know how I pride my class on neatness. Who was it then”? She glared at me. “I don't know,” I relied. “Well Karma I know it was you and for that, you must be punished. Go to time out”, “time out, Mrs. Chapman”? “Yes Karma Now”! She hollered, “I don't like the site of you”. As she opened the door to the storage closet, which was very tall but shallow in depth she pushed me inside and shut the door. As the door closed, I could see Ally looking at me as Mrs. Chapman put me in what she called “the time out”.
I had no idea how long I had to be in there or if I could open the door to ask a question. What if I had to pee? I thought. Oh please God, don't let me have to go pee, ran through my mind. I leaned against the closet wall and began to slide down to the floor. I sat down and wrapped my arms around my knees. I rested my head down on top of my knees and waited. I didn’t think Mrs. Chapman would make me stay in here for very long, but then again I never knew what she would do. I just knew she hated me and I knew she didn’t like Ally much either. I closed my eyes and remembered the words my Momma would tell me. It helped me to feel stronger when I went to school each morning. She would tell me to, “Stand tall, keep my head up high and be proud of who I am”. Sometimes she would tell me “she knew when she adopted me that my life would be harder than most others would be. I guessed it was because I was a black baby adopted into an all white family. Living with my family was never hard. Even though my parents had five of their own children and only adopted two and I was the only black child.
My parents never treated me any different. The color of my skin never
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