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seemed to matter at home or at our church. Although, many people at my church would stared at me and my family while we were sitting in the pews. I guess some people were still not use to seeing me with my family. Hum, well I know my parents love me and that is all that matters.
As I rested my chin on my knee, I was sure only a few minutes passed but in truth it had been hours. When, Mrs. Chapman finally opened the closet door. I had to squint from the light because it was so bright it was shinning in my eyes. I could not get focus of the room at first. I think I must have fallen asleep. I'm not sure, but I do know that all the kids in my class were again watching me be let out. “Have you learned your lesson girl”? Mrs. Chapman bellowed at me. I couldn't answer; I was confused and felt a little sleepy. “Girl you listening to me”, she continued? “I hope you learned your lesson child”. “Now get out there and clean up the mess you left in the hallway”. Mrs. Chapman grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the closet. I was blinded by the bright lights of the classroom and all I could hear was the beginning laughter of the kids in my class as I was thrown out into the hall.
I stood in the hall just outside the classroom door trying to get myself together. I looked down at the mess of boots on the floor and I was horrified when I noticed that I did have to pee, and I had all over myself while I was in the time out. That is why they were laughing, I realized. All I could do was fall to my knees and cry. I wanted my Momma, I wanted to go home, and I wanted to run away.
I got to my feet and looked down the hall, I saw no one so I ran to the end. Then I turned and ran down the stairs and out the north doors of the school and just kept running. I didn't even feel the cold air tickle my skin as I ran home. I didn’t live far from school. Walking it would take me 15 minutes but running I could do it in five. I ran than I ever had up the front steps of the porch to my house hoping to just push the door and have it fly open. All I wanted to do was fall into my mother’s arms and cry the rest of my tears out, but the door didn’t move. I franticly started to turn the knob. It was locked, suddenly I was confused. Where is Momma? Then I realized the car was gone! Oh no! She isn’t home and I haven’t got a key. Could this day get any worse? I thought, as I sat down on the step and waited. Momma couldn’t be long I thought, she must be home soon but it was getting really cold out and I left my coat behind in the classroom.
I pulled my arms up into the sleeves of my shirt to keep warm and I curled up into a ball and just sat there waiting, thinking about what could be going on at school and what Mrs. Chapman would do to me when she realized I had ran away.
Would she put me in the time out again, and I wondered if our principal Mr. Grimes knew about Mrs. Chapman’s kind of time out. With my head down between my knees, I shivered and waited for my mother to come home. I just wanted her to know all about what happened to me today and tell her I just couldn’t go back to that school. I don’t want to go back to that class ever again! I bet all the kids are still laughing at me and making fun of me. Why do they hate me? What did I ever do to them? Why can’t they just leave me alone?, was all I could think of over and over again until I heard the rush of the van engine pulling into the driveway. As I peaked my eyes out from under my shirt, I could see my mom rushing towards me. “Karma…….Karma! , what are you doing here”? “Why are you not in school? Oh God, you’re freezing”! I heard my Momma say, as she wrapped her arms around me. I felt he slight warmth from her coat against me when she grabbed me, but my insides were frozen solid. I couldn’t even move. I tried to huddle with my arms inside my thin shirt to stay warm. By the time she got home I couldn’t even feel the cold anymore.
My Momma picked me up and carried me inside, wrapping me in a warm blanket. Then she was gone. I shivered so hard I thought my teeth would crack in two. When Momma came back, the twins Liam and Katie with her and they were carrying the groceries in side from the car to the kitchen. As I watch, Katie asked, “Mom why is Karma home”? She looked very puzzled. I guess she was confused because I had been crying and I was outside in the cold with no coat. Even though my skin color is a light brown shade after being out in the cold for so long without a coat, you could see white shades forming on my arms and my cheeks.
Mom just shooed the twins away to play and before I knew it, she was sitting beside me with a hot cup of cocoa. “Oh Momma”, I cried and once the tears started they wouldn’t stop, no matter how hard I tried. “Karma”, my Momma kept saying over and over until I looked up at her. “It’s ok now you're home, just tell me what happened”? Momma looked very concerned as I sipped my cocoa and began to tell her the story of my day.
Going through some parts of the story I could see my mother’s expressions change from concern to anger to bewilderment and then finally to being confused. She looked as confused as I felt. Through sobs and sips, I told Momma everything and threw it all the phone didn’t ring once. The school didn’t even know I was gone, I thought.
When, Momma finally called to speak to the principal, Mr. Grimes. I heard her ask him if he knew I was missing from school, and my Momma was mad I could hear it in her voice. It wasn’t often my mother got mad but when she did holy cow watch out. We would all run and hide. I could see Momma getting angrier on the phone as she talked to Mr. Grimes, “It’s her fault”! I heard my Momma say. “What”? “You can’t be serious”? “Do you realize what happened to Karma in the classroom”? There was a long silence. “You’ve got to be kidding me Mr. Grimes”. “You’re telling me that Karma is lying and that my 8 year old daughter left school, and walked home in the cold without a coat just to cause trouble for you and Mrs. Chapman”. “Really, is that what you are saying Mr. Grimes”? “I can’t believe what I am hearing, my Momma continued”. “Did you ask the other students in the class to see if any of this was true”? “And why not”? She continued. “Oh, I see, ah huh”. My mother listened I assumed to what Mr. Grimes was saying on the other end until she said. “Thank you for your time Mr. Grimes I will keep Karma at home instead of you making her serve a detention at school”. “However, I would like to request that punishment for her running away not continues when she returns to school; her father and I will take care of it at home”.
I looked at my mother, confused. What just happened? Was I getting in trouble now? And for what, I thought as I hung my head down low. Momma got off the phone and was mumbling something under her breath that I couldn’t hear clearly. I was ready for the punishment whatever it was going to be. I realized Mr. Grimes was right. I shouldn’t have left the school. That was wrong. But I just wanted to get away from there and I wanted to be at home where I knew I was safe and no one could get me.
My mother sat down beside me and all she said was “it’s going to be alright now Karma, I have talked to Mr. Grimes and you’re going to stay home for a day or so before you go back”. “Think of it as a break and a time to think of what you could have done differently”. “Or maybe what you would do differently next time something like this happens”. Next time, I didn’t want there to be a next time ever. “Why do I get to stay home Momma”? I saw this as more of a gift than anything else. “Mr. Grimes thought it might be best to keep you home for a day until you feel better and are ready to go back”. “Oh, am I in trouble”? “I heard you say I would have a detention at school”. “Was that for running away and not telling anyone”? I continued to push. “Well yes, Karma, I said that to Mr. Grimes because I could tell it was important to him that you learn a lesson here, and that running away was wrong”. “You need to stay and deal with your problems, stand tall and be strong against the odds so to speak”. “How could I stand tall, be strong against them, all twenty-four of them laughing at me." “Pointing and laughing”, I tried to explain to my mother.
As the visions in my mind, the bright blurry lights filled my memory. The vision remained, with all twenty-four kids in my class laughing, pointing, and enjoying the funny site of me. All except for....………………..Oh God!
I remembered Ally’s face as she looked at me. She was sitting the closest to me when I came out of the closet and just now I remember how she looked at me. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and her eyes were all red from rubbing them away. I realized right then, that she had been crying, while I was in the closet. I knew Ally enough to know that she must have felt locked in that closet with me, even though she was on the outside of the closet door. At that moment, I knew I had to go back. Not for me, but for Ally. She needed me and I needed her. We had to be together, to fight together against all this hate. We had to try to figure out why there is so much ugliness.
I realized at that moment that this would be a burden I would have to carry my entire life, even though I pray that time would change people and people would change the world’s way of thinking. I knew it would still take a long time for change to show. As I sat drinking my cocoa, looking out the front window I knew, I had to toughen up and that the world was not always going to be a friendly place. I had to figure this out and hold on to my only friend who knew exactly how I felt, because she felt it
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