The Book of Good Manners - W. C. Green (inspirational books to read txt) 📗

can be sent by mail or messenger.

RECEPTION. When the host and hostess receive together, a man should leave one card for both, and if not present at the reception, he should send two cards.

THEATRE. After a theatre party given by a man, he should call within three days on the woman he escorted or leave his card.

WEDDING RECEPTION. After a wedding reception a man should leave a card for the host and hostess, and another for the bridal couple.

If a man has been invited to the church but not to the wedding reception, he should leave a card for the bride’s parents and the bridal couple, or should mail a card.

SENDING BY MAIL, OR MESSENGER. After an entertainment a man should call in person on host and hostess, whether the invitation was accepted or not. If a card is mailed or sent, it should be accompanied with an apology.

At the beginning of the season a man should leave cards for all those whose entertainments he is in the habit of attending, or on whom he pays social calls. These cards may also be mailed. If left in person, there should be one for each member of the household or only two cards.

In the former case, there should be left one card for the host, one for the hostess, one for the “misses,” and one for the rest of the family and the guest.

If a man is unable to make a formal call upon a debutante and her mother at her debut, he should send his card by mail or messenger.

A man may mail his card to a woman engaged to be married, if acquaintance warrants.

Visitors to town should send cards to every one whom they desire to see. The address should be written on them.

AFTERNOON TEA. If a man is unable to be present at an afternoon tea, he should send a card the same afternoon.

BREAKFASTS, LUNCHEONS, DINNERS. A man should leave a card the day after a breakfast, luncheon, or dinner for the host and hostess, whether the invitation was accepted or not.

They may be sent by mail or messenger with an apology for so doing.

ENTERTAINMENT BY MEN. After a man’s formal entertainment for men, a man should leave a card within one week, whether the event was attended or not. It can be sent by mail or messenger.

P. P. C. cards may be sent by mail or messenger upon departure from city, or on leaving winter or summer resort.

RECEPTION. When the host and hostess receive together, a man should leave one card for both, and, if not present at the reception, he should send two cards.

WEDDING RECEPTION. If a man has been invited to the church but not the wedding reception, he should leave or mail a card to the bride’s parents, and also to the bridal couple.

STYLE. The full name should be used, and if too long, the initials only. The club address is put in the lower left-hand corner, and if not living at a club, the home address should be in lower right-hand corner. In the absence of a title, Mr. is always used on an engraved but not a written card.

Cards should be engraved in plain letter, according to prevailing fashion.

Facsimile cards engraved are no longer used.

Written cards are in bad taste, but in case of necessity they may be used. The name should be written in full if not too long, and should be the autograph of the sender.

Messages or writing should not appear on men’s cards. If address is changed, new cards should be engraved. In an emergency only the new address may be written.

MOURNING CARDS are the same size as visiting-cards, and a black border is used—the width to be regulated by the relationship of the deceased relative.

MEN—STYLE, TITLES. Men having titles use them before their names—as, Reverend, Rev., Mr., Dr., Army and Navy titles, and officers on retired list. L.L.D. and all professional titles are placed after the name. Political and judicial titles are always omitted.

Physicians may use Dr. before or M.D.

after the name. On cards intended for social use, office hours and other professional matter are ommitted.

MR. AND MRS. See MR. AND MRS. CARDS.

P. P. C. See P. P. C. CARDS.

SENDING BY MAIL OR MESSENGER. If after accepting an invitation it is necessary to decline, a card should be sent the evening of the entertainment, with an explanatory note the day following.

When an invitation has been received to an “At Home” debut, and one has not been able to attend, cards should be sent by mail or messenger, to arrive at the time of the ceremony.

A card should be mailed to a man engaged to be married.

AFTERNOON TEAS. The invitations to a formal afternoon tea are sent a week or ten days in advance by mail or messenger. No reply is necessary, but if unable to be present, a card should be sent the day of the entertainment.

For an afternoon tea a visiting-card may be used, with the hour for the “tea” written or engraved over the date beneath the fixed day of that week. They may be sent by mail or messenger.

Persons unable to attend should send cards the same afternoon.

BIRTH (ANNOUNCEMENT). If wishing to congratulate after a birth, cards should be left in person or sent by a messenger. Cut flowers may be sent with the card.

CONDOLENCE. After a death in the family of an acquaintance, a card with the word Condolence written on it should be left in person or by messenger. For very intimate acquaintances, cut flowers may be left in person or sent, together with a card or letter.

When unable to leave in person a card with Condolence written on it, send it to intimate friends only with a note of apology. If out of town, it should be sent with a letter of condolence.

TRAVELERS. A woman visiting a place for a length of time should mail to her friends a visiting-card which contains her temporary address.

A man in similar situation should call upon his friends, and if he does not find them at home, should leave his card.

WEDDING INVITATIONS. Those present at the ceremony should leave cards for those inviting them, and if this is not possible, they can be sent by mail or messenger.

Those invited but not present should send cards.

WIDOW. See WIDOWS—CARDS.

WIFE. Only the wife of the oldest member of the oldest branch may use her husband’s name without the initials.

WOMEN. Mrs. or Miss should always be used before the names. The cards of single women are smaller than those of married women.

The husband’s name should be used in full, unless too long, when the initials are used. Only the wife of the oldest member of the oldest branch may use her husband’s name without initials.

Reception days should appear in the lower left-hand corner, limiting dates—as, Until Lent, or in January, may be either engraved or written.

If a special function is allotted to any reception days—as, the entertaining of special guests—the hour of the reception day may be written above the day and the date beneath it.

DAUGHTERS. See DAUGHTERS—CARDS.

LEAVING IN PERSON—BIRTH, ANNOUNCEMENT OF.

If wishing to send congratulations, after receipt of a birth announcement card, cards should be left in person or sent by a messenger; cut flowers may be sent with the card.

Before the wedding cards are issued, an engaged woman should leave her card personally upon her friends without entering the house.

When calling at the beginning of the season a woman should leave her own card, those of the men of the family, and two of her husband’s.

After formal invitations, a woman should leave her own card and those of the men of the family who were invited, whether they attended or not.

When calling formally a woman should leave a card, whether the hostess is at home or not.

When a woman calls upon a well-known friend, it is not necessary to send up a card.

When making a call at a hotel or other public place, the name of the person called upon should be written in the upper left-hand corner of the card—as:

For Mrs. Jane Wilson

The corner of the card should not be turned down.

P. P. C. cards may be left in person or sent by mail upon departure from city, or on leaving winter or summer resort.

The corner of the card should not be turned down.

RECEPTION. At receptions a woman should leave the cards in the hall or hand them to the servant.

At a “coming-out reception” a woman should leave cards for the mother and daughter.

A married man returns his social obligations to women by personal calls, or his wife can do it for him by leaving his card with her own.

MOTHER AND DAUGHTER. After her debut the younger of the two daughters has no card of her own, as her full baptismal name appears on her mother’s card beneath her name. A year after her first appearance she may have a card of her own.

When a mother leaves her daughter’s card, it is for the hostess only.

If reception day appear on the mother’s card, the daughters also receive on that date, as the daughters have no reception days of their own.

MOTHER AND SON. When a mother is calling, she can leave cards of her son for the host and hostess if it is impossible for him to do so himself.

A son entering society can have his cards left by his mother upon a host and hostess.

Invitations to entertainments will follow.

RETURNING TO TOWN. Cards of the entire family should be sent by mail to all acquaintances when returning after a prolonged absence.

When using cards, if out of town, the place of a woman’s permanent residence can be written on the card—thus: New York.

Philadelphia.

SENDING BY MAIL OR MESSENGER. A woman visiting a place for a length of time should mail to her friends her visiting-card containing her temporary address.

P. P. C. cards may be sent by mail or messenger upon departure from city, or on leaving winter or summer resort.

After a change of residence the cards of the entire family should be sent out as soon as possible.

At the beginning of the season both married and single women should send their cards to all their acquaintances.

Visitors to town should send cards to every one whom they desire to see, with the address written on the cards.

For afternoon tea a visiting-card may be used. The hour for the tea is written or engraved over, and the date beneath the fixed day of the week. They may be sent by mail or messenger.

The cards of a debutante may be sent by mail or messenger.

Mourning cards should be sent to indicate temporary retirement from society. Later cards should be sent to indicate return to society.

AFTERNOON TEA. If a woman is unable to be present at an afternoon tea she should send her card the same afternoon.

WEDDING RECEPTION. When invitations have been received to the church but not to the wedding reception, cards should be sent to the bride’s parents and to the bridal couple.

WOMEN—STYLE, TITLES. Women having titles should use them before the name—as, Reverend or Rev. Mrs. Smith. Physicians use Dr.

before or M.D. after the name. Office hours and other professional matters are omitted on cards for social use. Husband’s titles should never be used. The home address is put in the lower right-hand and the club address in the lower left-hand corner.

The card of the eldest daughter in society is simply Miss Wilson.

CARDS OF ADMISSION TO CHURCH WEDDINGS. These cards are used at all public