First Kiss Last by Sara Miller (read e book .TXT) 📗

He went silent. Leah just waited. There was a big bad coming, she was sure.

“I started noticing things before Liam was even born. I knew she was slipping. But I was busy and I let it slide. I don’t know how Liam was born as healthy as he was. I don’t know how he’s as smart as he is. But I thank God. A few weeks after he was born, Nicole upped and left. My mom flew in and helped me for the first three months. I wasn’t expecting that. Guess she still had some hope for me,” he shrugged.

“So Nicole . . .” Leah didn’t know how to ask.

“She had more trouble with the law. She’d come around here saying she wanted to see the kids but she’d have one hand out asking for money and another taking anything not nailed down. DCS started snooping around and I used everything I had to get full custody. Nicole ended up with more troubles and signed off her legal rights to both kids to help herself out.”

He looked at her sharply. “What kinda mother does that? You’d never do that.” His voice sounded so sure.

“It’s not a fair comparison,” she said softly.

“I guess. Well, truth?”

Leah nodded and Cade worked at what he was about to confess.

“I have.”

“Have?”

“Always compared every other girl to you.” He looked at her. Dead honesty written all over his face. She wanted to make light of it, crack a joke, ease the tension but she couldn’t. Cade broke it by giving her a quick kiss before finishing his story.

“So yeah, she’s almost completely out of the picture. She comes around every once in a while. I slapped a restraining order on her last time. And I heard a while ago she was back in jail. Dunno where she is now and don’t care, so long as she stays away from my kids.” His jaw was set.

It had to have been hard to go through all that. Hard also to tell her about it. She was proud of what he’d accomplished and she got ready to tell him so. At the last second she changed her words.

“He’d be proud, you know. He is proud. Your grandpa. I believe it with my whole heart. He knows what a good man and great father you are now. He knew you had it in you all along.” Leah squeezed his hand and pulled it to her face. She kissed his knuckles, rough from years of work and fighting.

“And you?” he asked.

“I’ve always known you have a good heart, even if you were a troublemaker. Girls always fall for the bad boy,” she teased.

“I’ve always wondered what if . . . what if you and I hadn’t broken up that summer . . .”

“We can’t live in ‘what-ifs,’ Cade. That’s not how it works. We were kids ourselves. I was . . .”

“The sweetest . . . kindest . . . cutest . . .” He kissed her between every word.

“You forgot shyest,” she said with self-loathing.

“No. I was a jerk,” he said remorsefully.

“I wanted you to kiss me so badly! But I was terrified of it. I wanted it but I needed you to initiate it. I didn’t have the nerve. And when I heard you calling me a goody-goody . . .” Leah’s voice trailed off. She had wanted to be wanted so badly. She had wanted him to want her.

“I believe someone smart said something earlier about not living in the past?” he teased, making her smile. “Make up for it now, hun. Show me how brave you are.”

Cade’s tone changed. There was sexual tension between them where there had not been moments before. He gave her a sexy smirk. Daring her.

Leah did not stop to think. She took the challenge enthusiastically. She moved, straddling him. Wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him for all she was worth.

Cade’s hands were on her hips, under her cardigan. Together they began to move in a steady rhythm. There was no denying where this was headed. She could not get enough. She moaned with pleasure wanting more, rubbing herself against him in a way that would have been embarrassing if she could have formed a coherent thought.

“Fuck,” Cade said, trying to break the kiss.

“Yes,” Leah encouraged, grabbing one of his hands and sliding it up her body to her breast. “Please,” she begged. She whimpered when he squeezed, then gasped when his fingers found her nipple through the fabrics of her shirt and bra.

“Not good enough . . . not here . . .” he tried to explain between kisses, “I don’t want our first time to be outside on a picnic table like some damn horny kids, hun. You deserve so much better than this.”

Leah sagged against him, knowing he was right: this was not the time or place. She put her head on his shoulder and his arms encircled her, as she waited for her breathing to return to normal, Cade lightly stroked her back. Finally, he broke the silence.

“Babe?”

Leah tensed. For a moment, she could not speak. When she finally did, she couldn’t manage more than a whisper. She did not even lift her head. She only hoped he could hear her because she did not want to have to repeat this.

“Don’t. Don’t call me ‘babe.’ That’s what he calls me. My . . . h-husband. Eric.” It was hard to get out, like trying to talk with marbles in her mouth. She felt his hand still on her back for the briefest of moments before continuing its steady back and forth.

“I . . . we . . . we only dated for a few months and I . . .” She stopped again. Cade tried to get her to sit up, but she shook her head, avoiding his eyes.

“I got pregnant and so we got m-married . . . and then I . . . I . . .” She felt his arms