How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You by Leil Lowndes (knowledgeable books to read TXT) 📗

what made a Mommy and a Daddy want to get married. She recited the following nursery rhyme to me.

Jack Spratt could eat no fat. His wife could eat no lean.

So, between them both, you see, They licked the platter clean.

For years, I felt that grownups always fell in love with someone who was different. On the surface I wasn't wrong. The studies show that, basically, men and women seek someone similar. As we have examined, lovers seek someone with similar interests, simila r values, and similar ways of looking at the world and at relationships. This is the deep stuff.

However, superimposed on the similarity is a surface layer of difference. Lovers also look for complementary qualities to bring them, as a couple, to completion. Some people seek qualities to make up for their lacks. A man who can't boil an egg appreciates a good cook. A woman who doesn't know a fan belt

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from a fuel pump appreciates a lover who knows what's going on under the hood of her car. A man who can't balance a checkbook is impressed that his sweetheart knows how to read the stock market ticker.

Your Quarry will appreciate your complementary differences.

Maybe.

precisely what complementary qualities your Quarry likes

and which leave him or her cold (or, worse, which make your Quarry jealous or hostile).

How do you do this? You can casually ask about your Quarry's previous relationships. "What did you like about Jim?" "What held you and Sue together?"

"What was Dan's best quality?" ''What was Betty's strength?''

You'll hear an unbelievable variety of answers. "Jim was so handy; he could fix anything. Sue always read the paper and let me know what was going on in the world. Dan was really gregarious, and we had so many friends when we were together. Betty was a sup er bargain hunter, so we always got the best deal in anything we bought."

Keep your ears open and your love computer receiving data. Pretty soon a picture starts to emerge.

If you have a skill that your Quarry needs (and is lousy at), you've hit pay dirt. If you have a trait your Quarry wisheshe or she had, bingo! That's the complementary quality that your Quarry needs in a long-term relationship.

TECHNIQUE #31:

I GOT JUST WHAT YOU NEED

From time to time, casually ask what qualities your Quarry admired in his or her previous lovers.

At a later date, when your Quarry has forgotten you had asked, start hinting at what a hotshot you are in those areas.

Lovers, beware. Don't reveal complementary qualities too soon. The studies show that partners seek these assets later in the relationship,after they're secure in their basic similarity3.5 After you have established your similarity with the previous five techniques, this one puts the final pegs in the right holes to make you and your Quarry a perfect fit.

Let us now move on to an unbeatable recipe to conquer the heart of your choice. In the next section, we will cook up some delicious specialties to feed the ego monster and then make it become addicted to the diet you offer.

PART THREE

ME? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS

16

Quarry

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There is one conviction every man and every woman in the western world shares. That is the certitude, "I am different. I am unique. I am special. No matter how ordinary I may appear to the outside world, inside I know I am a singular sensation."

Some lucky children were raised in an atmosphere of unconditional love. Many less fortunate ones weren't.

And then there is the majority—those who grew upthinking they enjoyed unconditional

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love—only to find that there were strings attached.

And Mommy's and Daddy's love really wasn't unconditional after all.

Many people spend the rest of their lives desperately searching for that someone who will help them recapture the childhood dream of unconditional love.

They convince themselves, "Someday, somewhere, someone will come along. This individual will recognize my specialness over all other ordinary individuals. He or she will love me for being me. Not for my physical beauty, not for my money, but forme, for the essence of me."

Make your Quarry feel you are that person. Your reward is that he or she will fall in love with you.

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You can make your Quarry perceive that you are the person who will give unconditional love, but you must go about it subtly. Premature, inappropriate compliments can turn your Quarry off.

Ego Massage Is a Highly Skilled Craft

A skillful ego massage is not just giving compliments.

It is gaining a thorough understanding of your Quarry's self-image and then fostering it. Your Quarry's ideal self-image is crucial data in planning your menu to nourish his or her ego and thus win his or her love.

Not everyone wants to feel brilliant or beautiful.

There are those who want to be perceived as Mr.

Clean, a playboy, a Lolita, a sweet little princess, or a crazy, wonderful kinda crackpot genius. The variety of self-images is incalculable. The secret is not to blatantly compliment but to support your Quarry's self-image.

From your first conversation, you must listen between the lines to uncover how your Quarry sees himself or herself. The pools where people behold the most ideal reflections of themselves are the eyes of the men and women they fall in love with.

Feeding your Quarry's ideal self-image is critical for sustenance of the relationship. But it's also as perilous as handing raw meat to a ravenous lion or lioness.

Beware of insincere compliments or praise that misses the mark. One bad move and early love gets eaten alive.

A well-executed ego massage proceeds gracefully through four steps. It begins with making your Quarry feel that, because of his magnetism, he has instantly captivated you. Then, as you and your Quarry are chatting, you must make him sense strong empathy flowing from you.

Step three is to start interjecting your approval. Now, as your Quarry reveals more of himself to you, you may begin to bestow implied compliments. Along the way you can develop private jokes and other techniques that we will learn to make

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him feel special. Finally,