The Reed Security Relationship Manual: A Reed Security Romance - Giulia Lagomarsino (best book club books of all time TXT) 📗

this, but sometimes, a woman really is that kick-ass. Sometimes, you just have to sit back in awe that your woman is stronger, faster, and has bigger balls than you. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or that your man card needs to be taken away. It just means that if you’re ever in a fight, you can count on her to have your back.

When she walks up to you with that demonic look in her eyes that makes your balls shrivel up and your dick try to work its way back into your body, relish that feeling. Soak it up, and enjoy the fact that your woman can take care of herself. While the rest of you need trackers to make sure your woman is safe, I’m comfortable knowing that my woman is thinking I need a tracker.

Does that make me a pussy? Absolutely not. Besides, there are always ways of gaining the upper hand. Say you’re in a car chase, and people are shooting at you. Things get crazy, and you might accidentally pull your gun and shoot her. It would be a total accident, of course. I would never suggest that you shoot your woman. Never. But accidents happen. Call it karmic payback.

Besides, you’ll still have plenty of opportunities to take care of your woman. Even if she’s kick-ass, they still have those pesky feelings and cry from time to time. This is when you slip in and hold her, telling her everything will be okay. You’re the big, strong man. You’ll take care of her when she has a break-down.

Unless you’re Ryan. Then, you’ll still be the one in the corner crying.

Delivery

Who Said Having A Baby Was Easy

Your wife is pregnant. You think you have all the time in the world. You would be wrong. The first thing you need to remember is that women are unpredictable, and with them, their offspring. You need to be prepared for all outcomes, even those in which you may see and do things you never thought you would have to do.

Never let your woman drive out of town when she’s already in labor. This is doomed to end in disaster. Even if she has all the time in the world, if it can go wrong, it will go wrong.

Never EVER say “piece of cake” or “we have plenty of time”. Once you’ve unleashed these words, you can’t take them back, and you’ve jinxed yourself for sure.

Know your landmarks and street names. In case someone forgets to put the spare tire back in the truck and you have a blow out, you need to know what roads you may be on. If you can’t give specific directions, no one can find you.

Having a baby on the side of the road isn’t ideal, but it can be done. Have a medic on standby and a clean shirt, along with a helpful friend, and you’re good to go.

Do NOT let friends look at your woman’s crotch. It’s not a pretty sight for anyone, but can cause injury when it’s seen unexpectedly. Give proper warning before peeling off those pants.

Never make comments about how it really isn’t that bad. This is a good way to get hit in the face with a brick.

If having a baby in a place— say a haunted, creepy basement— don’t stand around talking about the best mechanical way to get said pregnant lady out of the basement. Also, try not to comment on how much said woman weighs. This will earn you a punch to the face or a good shove into a very large hole.

When delivering multiple babies at once, it’s important to stay calm. Assign tasks to the husbands so they don’t freak out. Chances are, the women will be calmer than the men.

Don’t fuck your woman while she’s in labor.

If you do, put the pedal to the metal and get her to the damn hospital. Oh, and remember to bring her along.

Women’s Rights

Bedroom Rights For Women

There are certain rights that a woman receives as her relationship with a man progresses. A woman needs to understand these rights so she knows how to proceed in said relationship and doesn’t overstep her bounds. This section is primarily for the women, as the men already know what assholes they can be. Here are a few simple rules to follow for one night stands:

1. If a man invites you back to his place, sex is implied and you leaving afterward is expected.

2. If said man falls asleep in bed after sex and doesn’t kick you out, feel free to stay, but sex is expected the next morning.

3. If you do stay over, a blow job is always a good way to wake up the man.

4. Snuggling with the man is strictly forbidden unless he pulls you close to him. This most likely will not happen as men like their space when they sleep. Stay on your side, or you might get thrown out in the middle of the night.

5. Coffee is the only thing you will be offered after a one night stand, but it’s really best if you leave right after sex.

6. You do not earn breakfast rights until at least the third sleepover. You’re unlikely to make it that far.

7. Showers should be limited to ten minutes unless you want to be fucked again.

8. If you take longer, you will not be invited back.

9. The exception to this is the unlikely case that the man tells you to take your time. No sane man will offer this, because they all know this is like giving a woman free range to snoop through cabinets and drawers and use the man’s razor to shave. That also will not get you a second invite.

10. When leaving the man’s house, do not wander around the living room or look for pictures. They are not there for your enjoyment.

11. If you want breakfast, your best bet is to go find a restaurant and eat there yourself. On the off