Hudibras - Samuel Butler (story reading txt) š
- Author: Samuel Butler
Book online Ā«Hudibras - Samuel Butler (story reading txt) šĀ». Author Samuel Butler
For why should he who made address,
All humble ways, without success,
And met with nothing, in return,
But insolence, affronts, and scorn,
Not strive by wit to countermine,
And bravely carry his design?
He who was usād so unlike a soldier,
Blown up with philtres of love-powder?
And after letting blood, and purging,
Condemnād to voluntary scourging;
Alarmād with many a horrid fright,
And clawād by goblins in the night;
Insulted on, revilād, and jeerād,
With rude invasion of his beard;
And when your sex was foully scandalād,
As foully by the rabble handled;
Attackād by despicable foes,
And drubād with mean and vulgar blows;
And, after all, to be debarrād
So much as standing on his guard;
When horses, being spurrād and prickād,
Have leave to kick for being kickād?
Or why should you, whose mother-wits
Are furnishād with all perquisites,
That with your breeding-teeth begin,
And nursing babies, that lie in,
Bā allowād to put all tricks upon
Our cully sex, and we use none?
We, who have nothing but frail vows
Against your stratagems tā oppose;
Or oaths more feeble than your own,
By which we are no less put down?
You wound, like Parthians, while you fly,
And kill with a retreating eye;214
Retire the more, the more we press,
To draw us into ambushes.
As pirates all false colours wear
Tā entrap thā unwary mariner,
So women, to surprise us, spread
The borrowād flags of white and red;
Display āem thicker on their cheeks
Than their old grandmothers, the Picts;
And raise more devils with their looks,
Than conjurerās less subtle books;
Lay trains of amorous intrigues,
In towārs, and curls, and periwigs,
With greater art and cunning rearād,
Than Philip Nyeās thanksgiving beard,215
Prepostārously tā entice, and gain
Those to adore āem they disdain;
And only draw āem in to clog
With idle names a catalogue.
A lover is, the more heās brave,
Tā his mistress but the more a slave,
And whatsoever she commands,
Becomes a favour from her hands;
Which heās obligād tā obey, and must,
Whether it be unjust or just.
Then when he is compellād by her
Tā adventures he would else forbear,
Who with his honour can withstand,
Since force is greater than command?
And when necessity ās obeyād,
Nothing can be unjust or bad
And therefore when the mighty powārs
Of love, our great ally and yours,
Joinād forces not to be withstood
By frail enamourād flesh and blood,
All I have done, unjust or ill,
Was in obedience to your will;
And all the blame that can be due,
Falls to your cruelty, and you.
Nor are those scandals I confest,
Against my will and interest,
More than is daily done of course
By all men, when theyāre under force;
When some, upon the rack, confess
What thā hangman and their prompters please;
But are no sooner out of pain,
Than they deny it all again.
But when the devil turns confessor,
Truth is a crime he takes no pleasure
To hear, or pardon, like the founder
Of liars, whom they all claim under;
And therefore when I told him none,
I think it was the wiser done.
Nor am I without precedent,
The first that on thā adventure went:
All mankind ever did of course,
And daily dues the same, or worse.
For what romance can show a lover,
That had a lady to recover,
And did not steer a nearer course,
To fall aboard in his amours?
And what at first was held a crime,
Has turnād to honourable in time.
To what a height did infant Rome,216
By ravishing of women, come!
When men upon their spouses seizād,
And freely marryād where they pleasād,
They neāer forswore themselves, nor lyād,
Nor, in the mind they were in, dyād;
Nor took the pains tā address and sue,
Nor playād the masquerade to woo:
Disdainād to stay for friendsā consents;
Nor juggled about settlements;
Did need no licence, nor no priest,
Nor friends, nor kindred, to assist;
Nor lawyers, to join land and money
In thā holy state of matrimony,
Before they settled hands and hearts,
Till alimony or death them parts:217
Nor would endure to stay until
Thā had got the very brideās good will;
But took a wise and shorter course
To win the ladies, downright force;
And justly made āem prisāners then,
As they have, often since, us men,
With acting plays, and dancing jigs,
The luckiest of all loveās intrigues;
And when they had them at their pleasure,
Then talkād of love and flames at leisure;
For after matrimonyās over,
He that holds out but half a lover,
Deserves for evāry minute more
Than half a year of love before;
For which the dames, in contemplation
Of that best way of application,
Provād nobler wives than eāer were known
By suit or treaty to be won;
And such as all posterity
Couād never equal, nor come nigh.
For women first were made for men,
Not men for them.ā āIt follows, then,
That men have right to evāry one,
And they no freedom of their own:
And therefore men have powār to choose,
But they no charter to refuse.
Hence ātis apparent that, what course
Soeāer we take to your amours,
Though by the indirectest way,
āTis no injustice, nor foul play;
And that you ought to take that course,
As we take you, for better or worse;
And gratefully submit to those
Who you, before another, chose.
For why should evāry savage beast
Exceed his great lordās interest?
Have freer powār than he in grace,
And nature, oāer the creature has?
Because the laws he since has made
Have cut off all the powār he had;
Retrenchād the absolute dominion
That nature gave him over women;
When all his powār will not extend
One law of nature to suspend;
And but to offer to repeal
The smallest clause, is to rebel.
This, if men rightly understood
Their privilege, they would make good;
And not, like sots, permit their wives
Tā encroach on their prerogatives;
For which sin they deserve to be
Kept as they are, in slavery:
And this some precious gifted teachers,
Unrevārently reputed leachers,
And disobeyād in making love,
Have vowād to all the world to prove,
And make ye suffer, as you ought,
For that uncharitable fauāt.
But I forget myself, and rove
Beyond thā instructions of my love.
Forgive me (Fair) and only blame
Thā extravagancy of my flame,
Since ātis too much at once to show
Excess of love and temper too.
All I have said thatās bad and true,
Was never meant to aim at you,
Who have so sovāreign a control
Oāer that poor slave of yours, my soul,
That, rather than to forfeit you,
Has venturād loss of heaven too;
Both with an equal powār possest,
To render all that serve you blest;
But none like him, whoās destinād either
To have, or lose you, both together;
And if youāll but this fault release
(For so it must
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