Etiquette and Vitriol by Nicky Silver (classic fiction .txt) 📗

will pump you full of drugs and sit you in a yellow room with yellow walls and give you clay for ashtrays and yarn for placemats. And there you’ll sit, till the days become years and your teeth fall out. And your hair falls out. And your muscles grow limp and you drool on yourself. And no one will visit you and no one will talk to you and no one will remember you and no one will care! And you’ll really hear voices and you’ll become old and your fingers will twist like the roots of a tree. And your organs will fail, one by one! And breathing’s a chore! And you’re just a body! Shuffling along! To no place at all! Every day! After day! After day! Until DEATH, FINALLY, MERCIFULLY, PATHETICALLY, PICKS YOU UP IN HER ARMS AND CARRIES YOU OUT OF HERE! NOW CUT THE CRAP!!!!

BISHOP: Mommy!

PHYLLIS and

POPO: Bishop.

(Bishop starts to go to Phyllis but is cut off by Popo.)

POPO: I made this for you. (She offers him a potholder)

BISHOP: Leave me alone.

POPO: I call it “Potholder Number 38.”

BISHOP: Put it away.

POPO: It looks like Number 37, but it’s not. It’s better.

BISHOP: Go away.

POPO: You’re welcome. (She leaves him)

NESTOR: Bishop!

BISHOP: Go away!

NESTOR: What happened to your mother?

BISHOP: Nothing.

NESTOR: She’s alive?

BISHOP: Yes!

NESTOR: Where is she?

BISHOP: Here!

NESTOR: Right here?

BISHOP: Yes!

NESTOR: I don’t see her!

BISHOP: That’s your problem!

NESTOR: Look at me!

BISHOP: What!

NESTOR: You see her?!

BISHOP: Yes!

NESTOR: Where is she?!

BISHOP: HERE!

NESTOR: WHERE?

BISHOP: I DON’T KNOW!

NESTOR: Atta boy.

BISHOP (To Phyllis): Help me.

PHYLLIS and POPO: I’m here.

(Bishop and Phyllis embrace.)

BISHOP: I couldn’t find you.

PHYLLIS: Don’t leave me.

POPO: I love you Bishop.

PHYLLIS: I need you.

BISHOP: I’m sorry.

POPO: I love you Bishop.

PHYLLIS: My feet hurt. I need new shoes.

POPO: I love you Bishop.

PHYLLIS: I need a place to sleep. I can’t sleep on the beach with the clouds watching me. I need someone to protect me.

BISHOP: I’ll protect you.

PHYLLIS: Tuck your shirt in.

POPO: I love you Bishop!

(Bishop hears Popo for the first time and moves to her.)

BISHOP: What?

POPO: I think about you all the time. Dr. Nestor says I’m fixated. Dr. Nestor says I’m obsessing. Dr. Nestor says I’m off my nut!

BISHOP: He’s right.

POPO: I dreamed about you last night.

BISHOP: Go back to your room.

POPO: I dreamed we were on a desert island.

PHYLLIS: Imagine.

BISHOP: Take a sleeping pill.

POPO: And I looked like Brooke Shields and you looked like Christopher Atkins.

BISHOP: Take a dozen.

NESTOR: Do you remember killing your mother?

POPO: And everything was idyllic.

BISHOP: Take a long walk off a short pier.

POPO: And the sun was very bright and our hair was blond.

NESTOR: Bishop!

BISHOP: Take a hike.

POPO: And our bodies were perfect, and we went swimming.

BISHOP: Take a rest.

POPO: Naked.

NESTOR: Do you?

BISHOP: Take a leak.

POPO: And we climbed out of the ocean, like Adam and Eve.

PHYLLIS: What’s the matter with her?

BISHOP: She’s obsessing.

POPO: Like the birth of Venus.

PHYLLIS (Out): God.

POPO: And the water stuck to our skin, in droplets.

PHYLLIS: Who cares?

POPO (Calm): And the droplets reflected the sun and turned the rays of sunlight into prisms off our skin. And we stood on the beach, on the sand, nude with colors.

PHYLLIS: Get rid of her.

POPO: And we didn’t speak.

PHYLLIS: Bishop.

POPO: Because we spoke with our arms and we spoke with our skin and we understood each other without any words. And you stood very close to me. And your breath was very warm on my face and the wind blew my hair and the waves filled my head.

PHYLLIS: Don’t touch her.

NESTOR (To Phyllis): Leave him alone!

PHYLLIS: SHUT UP!

POPO: And I touched you. I put my hand on your shoulder.

PHYLLIS: Don’t let her.

POPO (She does so): And your skin was soft and felt like singing to my fingers.

PHYLLIS: Bishop.

BISHOP: Leave me alone.

POPO (As she continues, she becomes more and more relaxed, both in body and voice): And the wind held my breasts and I kissed your neck. (She does so) And it was sweet and smelled like flowers. (Again) And I stopped hurting because I stopped smiling. (Again) And I looked into your eyes. (Again) And I saw my reflection.

PHYLLIS: STOP THIS!

NESTOR: LEAVE HIM ALONE!

PHYLLIS (To Nestor): HE CANNOT DO THIS!

NESTOR: YOU’RE DEAD!

POPO: And you kissed me.

PHYLLIS: NO!

POPO: And you put your tongue in my mouth, and held my breasts, in the wind, your hands.

PHYLLIS: STOP IT!!

POPO: And you entered me, and the sun went behind a cloud and the shadows made dances on your chest—

PHYLLIS: STOP!

POPO: And it rained, on us, in the sand, on the beach, at the tide, in my arms, in your eyes, in my mouth, on my back, at your feet, by the sea, in my dream—

(Bishop and Popo embrace. Phyllis crosses to them.)

PHYLLIS: Get rid of her Bishop!

NESTOR: Don’t hear her Bishop.

PHYLLIS: Remember what it looks like!

NESTOR (To Bishop): Let her go!

PHYLLIS: Remember what it feels like!

POPO: I love you Bishop!

NESTOR: LET HER GO!

PHYLLIS: It feels like running and running Bishop—the taste of flesh in your mouth! Remember the taste! Remember the sounds! You said it Bishop! You can do it! Like gunshots in your head, better than fucking! Get rid of her!

(Bishop is holding Popo as if he might kiss her or kill her. Nestor removes his coat and becomes Howard.)

POPO: I love you Bishop.

PHYLLIS: Kill her!

HOWARD (To Phyllis): STOP IT!

PHYLLIS: What do you care?! You never wanted him to begin with!

HOWARD: HE DOESN’T BELONG TO YOU!

PHYLLIS: HE DOES!!

POPO: I LOVE YOU!

PHYLLIS: HE’S MINE!

HOWARD: LOOK WHAT YOU DID!

PHYLLIS: I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING—

POPO: I LOVE YOU—

PHYLLIS: YOU DID IT—

HOWARD: HE KILLED YOU TOO—

PHYLLIS: I LOVE HIM—

POPO: I LOVE YOU—

BISHOP: STOP IT!

(At this, Bishop pushes Popo off him. She removes her bathrobe, revealing Pam’s costume. Nestor puts on his coat again and goes to his desk. Phyllis dishevels herself and sits where she sat before exiting at the end of Act II. Pam and Phyllis revert to their Act II personas.)

I killed her. I killed her. I did.

PAM (After a long moment): I miss being alive.

PHYLLIS: Bishop?

PAM (Out): Go date married men.

BISHOP: We ate my father through the night.

PHYLLIS: I’m full.

PAM