Plays 2: Weird Time Blues Shuffle - Colin Peterson, George O'Sullivan (trending books to read txt) 📗

the floor with a gimp mask. Poval panics, trying to hide under the flimsy table, but Wede is insatiable. She keeps trying to kiss him, but his hand is in immense pain. They make too much noise, but the Doctors are oblivious, as is Flore. 

 

Tosst You know, that I will strike this thing down. I’m not scared by this president guy. What does he do? Another tin-pot dictator. They’re all thugs you know. They’ll sell some top-notch heroin one minute then say it’s poisoned the next. Then charge you for the cure, then bomb you once you’ve been cured. That is why we must protect this haven.

 

Carrion I always thought Bohl was a spy. We have a patient - quite amusingly, if I may say so - pretending to be doctor Bohl. We keep telling the subject that he doesn’t exist, but I always knew he was really a spy. It’s a more logical explanation. That’s why they're attacking us. It’s a good thing we installed those defence installations. Here’s another cheque! 

 

Tosst Thanks. I quite agree with everything you say. Let them try to bash their way through, but we’re not budging. If not, we’ll go underground.

 

Carrion That might be hard to do so.

 

Tosst Not when it's on strike?

 

Carrion Well, it just a -

 

Tosst Lazy architects. We paid them to design a future scape. (Poval screams in pain, as he tries to get his hand free form Wede’s trousers. He starts to bite her zip.) We’re did they go?

 

Carrion  They didn’t go underground, but they detoured into the newly created Dr. Bohl Spiritualisation centre. They are the first, to fully appreciate the ward. They get massages, by Jinni, the Chinese girl. I think she’s a Buddhist, but that doesn’t matter these days, does it? Well, I don’t want to know; it’s up to her, but she’s sweet. Rich Daddy. And Mummy, of course.  She looks like the Dalai Lama. Which is cute and one of the main reasons why I hired her.

 

Tosst(hugging Flore.)Flore? My wife?

 

Carrion I thought she was to be my wife?

 

Tosst But you have all your spiritual bitches and all that.

 

Carrion So I have. I’m sorry Mrs. Tosst. I’ll never confuse you with one of my zen bitches ever again. You’re too well trained and of a fine breeding to be like one of them.

 

Flore I feel lighted- headed. Did you spike me?

 

Carrion I think the people here are unclassified lifeforms. I can sense it - I feel them; I feel it all around me. (Touches Poval’s anus, then Wede’s. Wede goes mad, kissing Poval to the point of suffocation. He bangs the floor in  desperation.) Maybe I’m getting paranoid. I don’t want to be like them out there.

 

Tosst You shouldn’t drink so much.

 

Flore  I'm teetotal, I don’t get it?

 

Tosst What?

 

Flore What?

 

Tosst No, that’s what I said. Don’t start that. I'm on way too much and I have to cut down on all my thinking. Flore, what a great idea! We’ll put a panto on in here, if it’ll shut you up. But I can’t guarantee any real celebrities; maybe ones people have forgotten about. I'll trawl daytime TV as well as all those trendy bars and clubs. We do have a lot of  rich kids though. Bankers' daughters that go and crack the USA. They are in the Bohl Centre.

 

Flore Bohl? He was -

 

Tosst Really? How interesting. Lie on this table. Let me examine you. Off the record, of course!

 

Carrion I’m going to secure the specimen who thinks he is the spy known as Bohl.

 

Carrion exits. We hear explosions from outside. There are pieces of shrapnel and debris, which falls like snow onto the canteen.  Most of it is plasterboard and useless, tacky, wallpaper. The power crackles, the lights dimming. We then hear some coins drop; the lights and the power come back on.

 

Tosst Damn these inconveniences, like war and peace. I’ll never get through it! My poor love! Just when I was creating something of immense power, it comes crashing down.

 

Flore Bohl. I don’t know where I am!

 

Tosst You’re not Bohl. Look, I’m…(Sees Poval and Wede.) Amazing. Two mutated specimens!

 

Poval Er, Doc, I can’t explain, but I really was meant to knock off in an hour anyway, so I’ll just be going?

 

Tosst NO. You are a scientific miracle! You’ve grown! You’ve evolved, while in the haven known as Stotto island! We have naturally formed a new type of human.  A NEW TYPE OF HUMAN, UNIQUE TO THE ENVIRONEMNT OF STOTTO ISLAND! I’M A PIONEER! I always knew I was great, so I told myself! But I never had illusions of grandeur. Which I thought was a great move. Who’s you’re father? An aging rocker or a movie star? This could be beneficial to our careers all round. Well, mine! We’ll do a TV movie of course. Not one of those over-hyped things, but something where Robson Green plays me.

 

Poval (Wede is still trying to kiss him to death. He starts to punch her, but she is too strong for him.) No, get off, vile...! I mean, Dr, Tosst! Oh, emperor! , please, believe me when I say that I’m not a mutant! I -

 

Tosst (caressing Poval)  Dear boy, you are no mutant, but a creation of a higher order. You will save us!

Let me see your powers. Unleash yourself, expose your form to me!

 

Poval I have none, honest, you’re misunderstood.

 

Tosst I’m never wrong. Get on the table. (Takes out a bottle of pills; a Haribo wrapper falls to the ground from his pocket.) Here take this: it’s a small amount of a drug called…I can’t pronounce the name, but it’s a drug. Kids and grown ups love it...It’s a good one. If you use it right. (Reads pill bottle. He breaks open the bottle. The child lock is tough. From on the floor he puts pills slowly into Poval’s mouth. Poval becomes drugged almost instantly, but Tosst still puts pills into his mouth. Poval is now unconscious. His hand is limp in Wede’s trousers, but he slumps, Wede still  kisses him. She does so and hugs him, squeezing him tight. Tosst takes out a stethoscope and puts it to Wede’s head and makes humming noises.) I said on the table! You’re slumping. Watch the shit! I insist, mutant! You must be examined. I should call Carrion, but he’s young and he wants to pay off his debts, so he’ll take all the credit. Where as I’m old and I have to pay off other peoples' debts. I need all the credit I can get!  I’ll call this next project: Humanity, the second coming. You, are it! (Kisses Poval, but is pushed out of the way by Wede.) I’ll use test subjects! I need someone who has no-brain and is basically a zombie, living in the past. Flore? Are you asleep?

 

Flore I don’t know.

 

Tosst (picking up a jar off another table and inspecting a morass of blood and tissue within the jar.) That was your brain, but we need to find out whether your time in Stotto island has been…evolutionary. You know, we have a new race. Look, Flore, even faithful Bohl could not conjure this up. If you love me, you’ll let me cut you up? Yes?

 

Flore I don’t know.

 

Tosst I made a bit of mess in there, but it was for your own good. I don’t think aspirin can solve it. Let me make amends by cutting you up?

 

Flore You killed Bohl! My love! You killed it. He really cared, didn’t he? That’s what killed him. He was no sex mad doctor. He was a true professional, who fell in love with colleagues rather than patients.

 

Tosst Oh, do shut up. The sexual harassment was endemic. You have nothing left -

 

Flore Apart from my revenge! REVENGE!

 

Flore jumps at Tosst, who drops the brain-jar and it smashes. Tosst screams, as does Wede, who tries to move closer to Tosst, to ensnare him, but struggles to move with Poval’s hand still rammed down her trousers. But sirens wail and the Guards enter. They run around, causing havoc, as we hear doors slam and screaming. We see Poval’s guards being dragged about by these people. Tosst is being strangled by Flore. Carrion enters, with a briefcase - full of money - struggling to carry such a huge amount of cash; much of the money falls out. Carrion is also dragging Bohl. Bohl wears a children's halloween mask of the devil, instead of the Gimp mask. Carrion approaches Tosst, not helping him break free from Flore. The explosions continue, as does the debris continue to fall from above. 

 

Carrion (calmly.) They’ve destroyed the alternative! You better get the pods ready. The guards have been vanquished!

 

Tosst Have the guards escaped?

 

Carrion No, not yet. But the insane are trying to get in. It’s madness. We can’t allow this. I’ve captured one who tried to get away. He’s claiming to be Bohl.

 

Tosst Bohl’s a spy. And he’s dead. If he’s not, then he’s alive.

 

Carrion: I know, but he says things; they've got out of hand. I think you have something in your eye.

 

Tosst Get it out! (Carrion hooks it out, but pokes Tosst in the eye. Tosst screams in pain.) Thanks doctor. You really are a...is that a case of money?

 

Carrion Yes. For our trust fund? For the kids?  Well, maybe not. For me. That’s predictable enough for you, isn’t it.?

 

We hear the loudest explosion then:

 

Goba (voice off; through a megaphone.)  Tosst, and company! We know you are in there. You’re island will be bombed heavier than the last place we bombed; my fire is friendly for now. Evacuate all or I’ll send in nukes. I know you have bunkers and secret tunnels. But we’ll send in the gas. We have you covered. Give up and let the people out. We’re closing you down..

 

The people go mad: we see Ed Stern, the TV reporter, Val, Kitty and guards running around screaming, as they try to break out. Carrion tries to hold them down.

 

Carrion (panics.) They’re only jealous because this was working. Unlike out there!

 

Tosst We must get a- w-a-y.

 

Carrion You having breathing trouble there? Where’s the Vicks?

 

Wede grabs Carrion and tries to kiss him. Carrion is scared by this.

 

Carrion My word Tosst! What have you created there? That looks hideous. Where are the masks? We must conceal all. They’ll do us for war crimes. Some phoney ethical thing! It’s all on paper, but all up in the air, at the same time. They think we’re daft. They’ll make a complex ethical issue simple and then we’ll be done for. (He takes some masks off the Guards: they are of Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden. He puts them on Wede and Poval.) There - that will cover them up. They’ll be anonymous. They were never associated with us. And remember, I was never here. Where were those pod things?

 

Tosst (strangling himself.)Help me! I’m getting k-i-l-l-e-d.

 

Carrion Survival of the fittest I’m afraid. I have to enforce it. It’s the law out there, which has now come into here. Sorry. I would but all for one and…yeah. Sorry to disappoint you.  

 

Carrion grabs Bohl and throws him next to Wede. Wede then starts passionately kissing Bohl, and gropes him; but is restrained further by Poval’s unconscious lumbering weight, with his hand still stuck down her trousers.

 

Tosst But we created a new race! We were being evolutionary and they ruined. Because they wanted a cut of the profits. Goba’s going to turn this country into a larger, harsher,  Stotto island!

 

 Debris falls on Carrion, who falls onto the table with Bohl, Wede and Poval. Carrion screams, as    the table collapse. There are more explosions, and we see Tosst being killed  by Flore.

 

Tosst Oh, burn then! See, if I care. I only wanted to give it a -

 

Tosst is strangled by Flore and is thrown into the darkness off stage. Smoke fills the canteen, but this is also poison gas; it changes colour, from green to pink, to a strange colour.