Plays 2: Weird Time Blues Shuffle - Colin Peterson, George O'Sullivan (trending books to read txt) 📗

gets aggressive. Maybe, you should give him some new clothes --get him some pyjamas! 

 

Scene3: Town hall: Day.

[The locals are gathered drinking and getting drunk slowly. Scrut enters, looking worried.] 

 

Scrut: Look, this is just a small hypothetical question which has been troubling me!What would you do if you found someone outside of their environment, from another time. Like , just say, for example, as this is make believe and just a bit of folly, but just say, that we found a capitalist! Some mangy money grubber aimlessly walks by our beautiful settlement, and we must remember, capitalists are people to!  We make him one of our own, as he is lost, he will get hungry soon. It is the only humane thing to do-incorporate him into our way of life, which, in my opinion, is the correct way! He is trying to plant some seeds-cress seeds he found, but he doesn’t realise that he needs a week. In that time he will be dead! I call, for the trust of humanity, that we save him/. He is a capitalist from the past who does not know any better.

 

[There are lots of cheers.]

 

Old Man: Let me comment on this issue-a single and superficial issue, if I may say so. Trust an ignorant capitalist to make such a projection. I know this is only on the MTX212, but do we know what we are doing? He does not known our society and may bring new questions to it! Shall we re-educate him? Are we any position to really question his past actions? To put it: bluntly this transition might fuck him up -- well, it sort've fucked ‘Buck Rogers’ up! I have seen the televised documentation! Horrific stuff -- oh, and the fashion! I don’t know what it will do to his dress-sense!

 

Scrut: Oh, it’s bad enough -- another bit of Lycra will not make much difference!

 

Old Man: Oh, how superficial we are!

 

[Cheers from the local intoxicated utopians.]

 

Scrut: Shut up you dozy chauvinist! We are doing him a favour! We are getting him in with the times!

 

Old Man: But little office lady, surely it is all about a state of mind -- if one does not agree with something then one will oppose it! So, therefore, everything to do with anything is about state of mind.

 

Scrut: Yeah, but isn’t that obvious?

 

[Cheers sound out again.]

 

Old Man: Yep, I suppose. Well, we are all human,[All too human] so why can’t we get along?

 

Scrut:  We do at the moment! We have to-maybe to survive, juts a minor thing like that.

 

Old Man: Yes, that’s cool, but we still have crime-not all problems are resolved! People still fight and take drugs!

 

[Cheers at the mere possibility of drug usage.]

 

Scrut: Well, they don’t fight over drugs because the health board controls all drugs which, as you know are free and are prescribed. But, violence, people fighting, they could quarrel over women-over anything!

 

Old Man: [Beat.] I argued over a woman once. She was a woman, an older woman. I was in 'The Graduate' and --

 

[Cheers are replaced by dull groans.]

 

Scrut: Well, does anyone else want a say?

 

[Silence.]

 

Scrut: Good to see debate is still alive.

 

Old Man: Why can’t you be content! Okay, we are all human, but maybe we could incorporate the capitalist and maybe they will not be as harsh!

 

Scrut: Maybe. Don’t worry. Maybe I should transmit his idea as a soap? A serialised version will help you digest the information? Would that be cool?

 

[Cheers.]

 

Old Man: But it can’t clash with ‘EastEnders’! [Pause.] No, I’m not joking, I don’t know why you're laughing! I am being serious! 

 

[Everyone disperses]

 

Scene 4:Scrut’s Chambers.

[The Rebel awakes in a bed, and looks around at Scrut’s desolate chamber. It is an empty space, apart from the bed. Scrut enters.]

 

Rebel: Oh, very swish and, er, dull! Oh, you moderno’s -- I can’t keep up with all this! Look, look at me! You have dressed me up in your future clothes! Now, I use to watch Space 1999 and it’s not that bad in that. But , look, this is like a prelude to a toga party! 

 

Scrut: Don’t you ever stop moaning! No wonder you were always revolting! You people are just plain attention seekers -- always thinking of yourself. What was it all about economic power back then?

 

Rebel: Would you like me to tell you about the pain humanity went through? Which it still goes through? Then , I will continue, if I may, about the vile way that Domia just ignores it’s sister settlements and lives its exclusive anti-capitalist existence in the middle of nowhere. Do you know, I would live on a tin of beans and a bottle of mineral water a day? It was healthy apparently, but I didn’t know it at that time and almost overdosed on vitamin pills. Well, they were have price and I had the shits all weekend, so I thought why not!

 

Scrut: You’re chatting shit! Why are you telling me all this?

 

Rebel: Because you asked?

 

Scrut: No, I never! 

 

Rebel: Look, just shut up! I’m having a rant! Freedom of speech, isn't it? Why can’t you civilised types be arsed to listen?

 

Scrut: [short pause. Scrut is getting angry, but represses it by placing some pills down her panties.] Just stop living in the past and embrace the bounty of the future! Oh, how the capitalist world wishes to be like this, but cannot! It is a reluctant humanist you keep voting for, but we want you to just live here and be part of our settlement! It’s quite simple!

 

Rebel: Oh, no! The system is not buying me that easy! No, not me Boo-Boo! I’m going to reveal, like all radicals, the fallacy of your system and prove that they are flawed! FLAWED! There is a perfect system and there is a fair and realistic system, but we are incapable of both!

 

Scrut: Yeah, whatever! I’m going to bed. Do you want a drink before I go? No? Good! I really think you are wasting  our time; just trying to catch everyone out. What are you trying to say?

 

Rebel: That you live in a dictatorial regime and you just don’t know it! It’s all propaganda! And mind games-- it all gets psychological from there and it really isn’t that simple!

 

Scrut: Look, it is; honest. Just because we do things slightly different you have to react against them! I thought you would be cool with them! 

 

Rebel: Look, do your job, and I will do mine! I’m a rebel, I have to rebel against something -- even if it’s nothing!

 

Scrut: That’s brilliant! Look, you have to sleep in the hover-sofa on the porch. I think you’re a bit of a freak. So, I will see you in the morning!

 

Rebel: I wanted a cocoa! [Pause. Scrut exhales in annoyance at the Rebel.] Let’s keep discussing things, please. It’s fun!

 

Scrut: There’s nothing to discuss -- you just like moaning, so I take it you just love the sound of your own voice!  Look, it’s late. The kitchen is around there, you will get use to it, trust me. 

 

[Beat.]

 

Rebel: I’m a prisoner, aren’t I?

 

[Pause.]

 

Scrut: Sort of. You can leave, but we must make sure we can trust you before that choice is granted to you.

 

Rebel: I knew this was some tyrannical regime -- you're in charge, aren’t you? Let me speak to the Duce! Come on! Right now!

 

Scrut: Have you had enough food? Do you want to brush your teeth?

 

Rebel: No, I would, but I’m not going to.

 

Scrut: Point taken.  See you in the morning.

 

Rebel: So, do you fancy me? I know you want me -- I’m a rebel! Everyone wants a rebel! I’m not a middle class upstart, I’m through-and-through rough stuff, straight out of Cuba!

 

Scrut: Okay, goodnight then.

 

[Scrut exits. Rebel gets into to bed and starts to masturbate.]

 

Rebel: [To himself.] Bloody perfect place -- still no whores. I need some rebellious action of the revolutionary kind! This is ridiculous --[Starts to masturbate.] Ooh, uh, that’s good!

 

[Slight pause. Scrut runs in and jumps on top of the Rebel.]

 

Scrut: Okay Rebel, fuck me senseless! Let’s see twentieth-first century boy, can you be my toy? Are you up to the paces of the next generation? Let’s find out how fit you are! [Scrut gyrates on the Rebel. He is shocked by her agility, as he comes quickly, wrestling through the embarrassment. He tries to do his trousers up. But Scrut forces them down, wrestling him down onto the ground.] Oh what a shame! You’re over before you began. Okay, it looks like you better put on the Motion-brator. That should do the trick! Strap it on and, hopefully, it will pleasure you, too. [Points.] It’s over there? Can you see? Right there, by your side! Sorry, your other side! No -- oh, where did I put it?

 

Rebel: Oh, yeah. Well, it looks better in the movies, right? Sure, I know the drill! And, I ain’t come yet, it's just a warm-up pre-dribble, I’m just getting warmed up. Just a bit of moisture. Let’s go!

 

[Finds the strap and straps it on himself. Pause, as they get comfy.]

 

Scrut: By the way, what was that odd motion you were doing with your hand -- it was very interesting. I take it some prayer? To the old gods?

 

Rebel: Er, yeah, something like that. Can’t we get it --

 

[They fuck. Very rapidly, as we hear a loud vibrating hum being generated from the strap-on that the Rebel is wearing.]

 

Rebel:So are you shocked?

 

Scrut: What?

 

Rebel: Are you? [Turns the vibrator off.] Are you shocked? You know, it’s a big vibrator. Usually that is meant to be shocking? You know, it’s a sexual thing so people get all funny and embarrassed over it? I think it is working for me -- I've got a boner!

 

Scrut: Really? Wow, can I take a photo of it?

 

Rebel: Well, we can fuck? Properly -- if you want too?

 

Scrut: I don’t get it? Fuck in Domia means to exercise. I’m sorry if I have implied intercourse! No we can’t really do that without a T67 mind scan! It’s to show we are not certified fuck ups, that is if we have kids. All adults must have the T67-scan before they are about to have kids! We don’t want to fuck up our kids do we? That’s if one of us is a fuckwad! That’s the future we are messing with!

 

Rebel: I knew there would be a Catch-22 like that. When you thought things were going to happen, this language barrier appears -- it is the same language? It's confusing, because you all use a new lingo! I can't keep up with the times! I’m useless, I can’t do anything! What can I do here? It's my destiny to rebel! I must do something to liberate these people! 

 

Scrut: What from?

 

Rebel: From these sort of situations!

 

Scrut: Look, I’m sorry, that has created some tension, I didn’t mean for that to happen, I love you!  Not like, you know, but like a friend. I really want you to settle here well, but I must keep you here. We don’t use force! 

 

Rebel: Well, I’m going to the media -- I’m sorry, I will need to tell these backwards people the truth, and your deceptive ways!

 

Scrut: There is no deception.

 

Rebel: I will leave in the morning and tell your NewsCore -- I will be a celebrity! I will be unstoppable. I’m the living past! I will go after breakie -- is that cool.

 

Scrut: Yeah, I will do scrambled eggs, if that’s okay. [Beat.] Well, I can’t stop you, but you may force us to react to harsher measures -- like killing you!

 

[Rebel throws Scrut off him onto the floor.]

 

Rebel: Get off me! I will not be blackmailed!

 

Scrut: No, I’m just seeing if you are a bottlejob. Violence never really wins anything except more violence. So we will try to kill you first and make sure you’re dead, before we under-estimate you and you kill all of  us!  That is probably quite easy, as we are not very violent.