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Memories


The crackling of the fire awakened me from a dreamless sleep. The sudden smell of pine cones lurked in the mists of the shadows that seemed to never leave my corners. I turned onto my back and ran my fingers through my hair, pushing back my bangs as I stared up at the ceiling in dismay. It was the first night I didn't have her wondering in my dreams, it was the first night I felt whole; the first night I could actually sleep throughout the hours without my mother on my mind. Turning back onto my side, I watched the small ball of fur cuddle close against the curve of my body. She purred softly as I brushed my hand on her head. "Ella," I whispered, hoping she'd wake up without clawing at me. "Ella, it's time to get up, we must finish our duties before father awakens." She hissed softly and stretched her figure, driving her nails into the soft quilt that used to belong to me as a child, but was now hers to claim.

Rising from the bed, I pulled my hair back into a lazy bundle, caring less about the long, black strands of hair that refused to be held back by a rubber band. I pushed Ella's back gently, and she climbed to her feet, hopping off the bed and running out the door. Quickly, I fixed my bed sheets, the soft silk reminding me of my mother's hair. Her long, dark, black hair and her bright blue eyes. She had a warming smile that cured anyone with a case of the blues. Finally, noticing that I had stopped to day dream about her, I ran to the bathroom, getting ready for the day.

Staring at myself in the mirror, I searched for the girl that my father called beautiful or breath-taking. I saw a tall, slender girl, with high cheek bones and slightly pale skin. Her eyes were of dark, ocean blue, and her lips small and pale. Her bangs swooped to the right side of her face and slightly covered her eye. Her nose like a button, and her smile something rare. I pushed my hair back once more, and without my bangs I could see why many people say I look exactly like my mother. A burning sensation began to form in the pit of my stomach and I balled up my fist, hitting the mirror. It made a loud banging sound that echoed, the sound bouncing off of the white walls of the bathroom. I dreaded ever looking like my mother; I hated her for everything she has done to us. Looking at myself in the mirror, I could see my eyes begin to water and I turned my head away. Pity always cast over me, like a darkening shadow, every time I glance into the mirror. I wonder if my father can see it too, I wonder if he can see the resemblance as much as others do. I finally cleared my mind and continued to cleanse myself, reminding myself that she left on her own and it was her stupid choice.

After I finished getting ready for the rest of the day, I walked down the stairs quickly, glancing at my watch every second. I had to finish my chores; if father saw that I haven't even started on feeding the horses he'll want to do it himself, and it's cold and wet out, something my father shouldn't step into. I ran into the kitchen, almost tripping over Ella who was enjoying her milk. Glancing around, I looked for my father, assuming he had already awakened and fed her. Yet, instead, I found my little brother putting the milk away. He smiled at me and rushed over, hugging my leg. "Alaska! Alaska, I fed her, I did it!" He giggled and I couldn't help but smile down at him. I messed with his fluffy, smooth, brown hair and kissed his forehead. He looked up at me and I could see the happiness in his green eyes. His eyes round and big, and his smile wide, forming dimples on his rosy cheeks. He continued to pull at the hem off my long sleeved, fitted, black sweater, and dig in the pockets of my dark jeans. "Trey, I don't have any candy for you, now go play with Ranger or Ella," I unwrapped his arms that held tightly onto my thigh and kicked his butt gently. He ran into the greeting room and I could hear him chuck wood into the fireplace.

I cleaned up the house, fed the horses and dogs, made breakfast for Trey and I, and finally finished all my chores for the day. Finding some time, I lied down on the couch and took out the book that hid under the pillow. For the next hour I finished three chapters of "Lost At Sea" and then I could no longer pay attention to it all. I climbed to my feet and began to walk around the house, running into my father a couple times. My father was a tall man that hit the height of 6'3. He had dark, dirty blonde hair and a wide smile that showed sparkling white teeth. His eyes were the color of teal, and his shoulders were strong and broad. For each time I stumbled into him he gave a deep chuckle and smiled at me, calling me clumsy or blind.

A knock on the door grasped my attention, and I walked briskly over to it. Opening the door I found myself standing in front of a tall, thin, yet strong, teenage boy. His brown hair had a slight curl to it, and his cheeks were rosy from the cold. He had dark green eyes and a smile that brought joy to even the most miserable person on Earth. His blue sweater was a bit loose on his torso, and his dark blue jeans sagged a bit. "James!" I cheered and wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "Haha, missed me Alaska?" his voice was a bit edgy from the cold. "Of course I did!" James was my best friend since kindergarten, we were like two peas in a pod. We had so many things in common. From taste in music, to favorite foods. From the poets we admired, to the days of our birthday. He was truly my great friend. I pulled him into the house and we sat down on the couch. Trey ran into the room and screamed, bouncing onto his lap and hugging him tightly. So tight, I heard James grunt. "Ah, you missed me too Trey. I can tell," he winked at me, and I could see water drip from his eyelashes. "Are those tears or did the snow get you again?" I laughed and he shoved me. "It's from the snow, I don't cry!"

My father walked into the room and James quickly stood up, holding out his hand. "Mister Stanford, it's a pleasure to see you again." My dad glimpsed at his hand, and instead, gave him a massive welcoming hug. "Oh James, how we needed you here. Alaska isn't strong enough to do all the house work alone," he laughed and so did James. "Well, we all know women, especially ones like Alaska, aren't built to do things independently," I balled my hand into a fist and punched them both on the arm. A small silenced formed, then was broken by our cheerful laughs.

"Well i'm not here for long, just came by to say hello and pick up my coat I left a couple months ago. I can't stay as long as usual, due to the fact that grandmother will be needing me more often." I handed him his coat and walked him to the door. "That sucks, will you be able to chill tomorrow?" I asked, secretly hoping he would be free. "I don't really know, you know how grandmother is, always wants me home on time," he hugged me tightly and pecked my cheek. "Talk soon Alaska, it was nice seeing your beautiful ass again," winking at me he walked away and got into his car, driving out of the drive way and down the long, straight, road.

Trey appeared out of no where and screamed, "He was suppose to play secret agents with me!" I patted his head and kissed his cheek. "James couldn't stay too long, he has to go take care of granny." My brother refused to let go of his grudge, and crossing his arms, he stomped up the stairs. I still stood there in the door way, smiling and leaning against the frame. I continued to stand there for thirty minutes or so, daydreaming about James. Finally, the cold chills awakened me from my fantasies and I shut the door and walked back into the dark greeting room that was lit only by candles and reading lamps. The fireplace crackled and Ranger lied down on his back on the rug in front of the warming fire. I sat down beside him and rubbed his belly, his leg began to kick and he rolled over onto his side, smiling. His eyes were round and dark brown, and his tongue hung out of his mouth. He was a German Shepard, a beauty at that. I ran my fingers down his back, his fur entertaining my nerves.

Finally, night fell and I headed for my room on the second floor. Lying in my soft bed, I fell into a dreamless sleep once more.

Fingertips


The next morning was as usual as the one before. I awakened to the same crackles of the hungry fire, and cleansed myself once more. I continued with my daily chores and greeted my family as I have always done. My brother wasn't as annoying as usual though, which made me worried, yet relieved. My father was up earlier as well, which surprised me, because I am usually the one that makes breakfast. But this morning seemed easy going and whole. My father made mouth watering pancakes, bacon, sausage, and eggs. He even let Trey have a slice of pie from yesterday's dinner. He seemed to be in the best of moods, which made me happier than ever.

Once I finished all of my chores I sat down in the soft, comfy chair that sat by the window in the greeting room. I traced my finger on the window and drew a heart that began to disappear instantly. I watched as snowflakes fell from the dark, night sky, sticking onto the windowsill. The storm grew heavy, and as more clouds began to form, the moon began to disappear from my sight. Then a sudden flash caught my eye. Taking my sleeve, I wiped the glass and stared out to

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