The Boy I Fell in Love With - rose1699 .books (different e readers txt) 📗

 One day I will be a somebody to a someone. All my life I felt like nothing, it's finally time to change that. I've been through hell and back over and over again. I've been hurt so many times. I had my heart broken into million of pieces that I just want to leave and never come back or look back. Then I'll see who really misses me when I'm gone. I have no friends what so ever. I've been alone all my life and every relationship I've been in ends up them hurting me, cheating on me or get used.  Who will ever see who I really am?  I sometimes think back to my past. Seeing the scars on my wrists from my depression. I have nightmares  almost every night. Who will ever miss me. I've thought of  killing myself so many times. I have the scars to prove it. I wish someone could see how much I suffer everyday so they can see straight though my fake smile. I wish someone will love who I really am inside. I feel like a nobody because I have No one to count on anymore. I lost my parents two years ago in a car crash. I've been living with Foster family's that don't even like or care about me. Everyday I try to make them realize Who I really am,but they just don't fucking care. I guess I'll crying myself time sleep tonight and wish I was never born. I wish I could run away. I guess that's all I have to say. Goodnight.

                                            Tuesday, Nov 5, 2013

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I put my diary into my nightstand drawer and locked it. Then I laid on my bed as I looked at the ceiling as tears started to Fall. I put my hands over my eyes as I started to cry harder.  My name is Adrian Gibson.  I'm eighteen years old, I am gay. I'm male, 5'8 ,tall, skinny,and Emo. I have blue eyes and I have muscles. I found out I was Gay when I was fourteen an a really cute boy sat next to me and we started talking, then he kissed me and I couldn't help but kiss back.  I didn't know him,but something just told me to keep going and we were together for two years then we broke up because he met someone else. So I was heart broken, and that's when I started cutting myself. I tried to stop but every time I got hurt I would keep doing it.

When my parents died I was alone and heart broken because God took them away from me. One cut led to another and another. As my life went on I kept getting put into foster home after foster home because I was Gay. The family I live with now doesn't know I am gay because I didn't want to be put in a Foster home again. My parents loved me for who I was,they never judged me because I was their child, their one and only child. I curl up into a ball and cried. I had No one to love and No one to talk to. I'm mostly a loner. I'm a nobody. I just want to close my eyes and never never wake up. my eyes started to get heavy and I cried myself to sleep again. 

  My alarm started time go off and I was half was asleep and I opened my eyes and I saw it was 6:45 ㏂. Shit! I'm going to be fucking late again!  Ugh!  I hate this stupid family!  Why didn't anybody wake me up! .    So first, I jumped out of bed and took a quick shower. Second, I got my clothes on. I put my BVB band shirt sleeve T-shirt on with my black skinny jeans and my black converses. Third, I went back into the bathroom to style my hair witch was black with blue highlights as my bangs covered my right eye. Fourth, I put my punk rock gloves with holes in the fingers. Then last,I put my wrist bands on all around my wrists.

I was about to leave until I almost forgot to to brush my teeth. So I went back inti the bathroom and brushed them. I can't leave just leave because my room was a mess and my bed wasn't made. I'm OCD when it comes to my room.

                                                            Ten Minutes Later                   7:05㏂  

After I got done I was already fine minutes late for school. Ugh!  Not again! this makes the fourth  time this week!  So I grabbed my black and red hoodie and put it on. I put the hood over my head and raced out of the house as I cussed my foster parents out. Then I left and got into my car and drove off. I was super pissed off,but I have to calm down because I was driving.  So I put my BVB CD on and turned it all the way up as I just ignored the world.                       7:25㏂     I looked at the time and I was 25 minutes late for school just because they didn't wake me up. Damn it mom and dad thanks a lot for not waking me up. I finally got to school. As parked into my parking space I got out of the car, grabbed my shoulder bag and locked it.  I put my Hood back over my head as I started walking to the school. As I was walking into the building Mrs. King who was in charge of the school was waiting for me. She pointed me to her office and I stayed there utility she came in and sat at her desk.

     "Adrian, you've missed a whole week of school this week. What's going on with you hun? ' * I kept my Hood over my head and shrugged my shoulders* 'Just my parents didn't wake me up once again Mrs.King.  I am sorry I won't be late again ma'am I promise. ' * She was always so  sweet to me and I never know why. Every time something bad happens to me she's always there to take care of me. My foster parents were mean and sometimes abusive, but I was used to it. Every home I was in would beat me. I hide the bruises where they beat me. That's why I wear hoodies all the time because of scars and bruises. I hide them more because I didn't want to get sent to another foster home. I could feel the tears coming, but I hid my pain.* 'Adrian dear,why do you look like you're about to crystal? Is everything alright at home?' * I couldn't take it anymore. I bursted into tears. I couldn't control it. * ' I'm fine.... Everything is.....fine Mrs.King. Just I'm going through my old memories of my real mother and father.... Every home I have been to wanted me change who I am.... but I don't want to change who I am... I Love being me....I love being who I am... Why can't people accept me for who I am? ' * She got beside me and put me into a hug.  She was so much like my mother. * 'Adrian people are like that dear. There is nothing wrong about being Gay. Between you and me, I'm a lesbian, but if I told people I was, I could lose my job.  So I understand what you're going though. Me and my partner been together for five years now. We are still stronger then ever. So you can be a strong person if you just believe in yourself and others. One day you will find your true love. Now it's time you went to class. Here is your late slip. Now go to class, I'll check up on you later aright." She let me go and I smiled, but I was shocked. I didn't know she was a lesbian.

   So I walked out if the office and started running to my class until I ran into someone and papers went flying everywhere and we both fell down. Damn!  Note to self: "Don't run in the Hallway"  I put my hand on the back if my head and started to rub it because it hurt so bad. So I was face down and started helping the person out with the papers until I looked up and saw a hand in front of me to help me up.  I didn't know who it was because my eyes were blurry.         " I am sooo sorry! I didn't mean to run into you like that. Are yo....' * I was about to say until I stopped mid term in my sentence. My eyes started to adjust and I saw who I ran into was a new face I haven't seen before.  He was the same height as me,but slightly taller then me. He had long blonde and black hair as his bangs covered his left eye and I saw he had snake bites and his nose pieced. He had the greenest eyes I've ever seen in my life. He was wearing a My Criminal Romance T-shirt on with red skinny jeans and purple converse. He was also wearing a Beanie that was black and red.  He was maybe about seventeen it eighteen years old. He was so handsome and cute that I kinda blushed a little. He looked at me and smiled.* 'Are you alright? You look like you're spacing out, you okay? Hello??? ' * He had the cutest accent I ever heard. I think he was British. I snapped out of it and smiled.* ' Oh yeah *award laugh * I'm alright just a tiny bump on my head no big deal.  Are you alright? ' * he half smiled at me and I could of died right then and there because of that smile.* ' Yeah *laughs * I'm new around here and I think I kinda of got lost and don't know where my first class is.' *he put his right on on the back of his head like he was confused and nervous.*' Let me see your schedule if you don't mind me asking? '* He gave me it and lucky enough he has all the same classes as I do and I smiled. * 'Well, you have the same classes as me so I can show you around and help you in the classes ' * He half smiled at me again and I couldn't help, but blush. He looked so adorable and then looked at me and luaghed.* ' Why you blushing for? It should be me to blush because I'm embessed because I got lost.' * we both started to laugh and his laugh was,adorable like an angel. For some reason he can make me smile and I haven't done that in tears. * ' Well we better get to class. Umm what's your name?' * I smiled as we started walking into class.* ' Names Sergio Hunt.  From Landon. I go around the world