Morning Sunset - Daniela D. I. (novels to read .TXT) 📗

huge blow for him. Because, all these years he with Leila grew up just with their mother, who was also a father to them whom they never knew.

Having arrived at the house of Lucas, I realized that I couldn't tell him. I stood in front of his door and wasn't able to knock at it. I stood in the stairwell a few minutes trying to calm down and to stop crying, but it was almost impossible.

Having gathered with the forces or at least I thought so, I knocked on the door. I was hearing his footsteps in the apartment and how they were approaching the door. Those seconds seemed like an eternity. I breathed deeply, not allowing myself to cry again. When he opened the door and saw me, he smiled broadly, without suspecting what I was going to say. Having seen his smile, my heart stopped, not allowing me to breathe and the tears flowed stream down my cheeks. I just could say,
- Your mom ... heart attack ... she ... she's gone - I said almost stuttering, and then I stopped, giving Lucas a few moments to realize what I just told him.
His face became marbled opaque, it was impossible to read on it any pain, sorrow or loss, anything. The Lucas' gaze became cold and empty.
- Where is she? - He asked quietly.
- At home. There's Leila - I whispered.

On the way to the house of Catherine, we weren't talking. In the car was a complete silence and melancholy, and in the street was dark ... it was already late.
Having arrived at the location, Ryan opened the door. Without saying a word, he with the tears on his eyes, hugged Lucas as if he was his brother.
- Leila's in the bedroom - he said quietly and Lucas without saying anything, went to his sister and mother.
I was left standing in the doorway, unable to step over the threshold. Ryan came up to me and said quietly,
- Come into the house. I'll make you a calming tea. I'm sure you need it right now.
I with Ryan were sitting in the kitchen, and I was trying to imagine what was happening at that moment in the bedroom and all I could imagine was that, how they both mourned their beloved mother.
- Can you believe that this happened? - I heard the voice of Ryan - can you believe that Catherine is no longer with us?
- No - I answered through my tears - It's all seems to me like a terrible dream.
- To me too - he said.
- How did you know that...? - I began to ask, but I paused in the middle of the question because I couldn’t pronounce the terrible word, which was hovering in the house.
But I didn't have to finish as Ryan understood without words what I wanted him to ask.
- I was with Leila. We came to see Catherine, but instead we found her in the bedroom on the floor, unconscious - he swallowed hard, remembering the events of the evening, then he continued - When the doctors came, it was too late. They couldn't do anything.
Ryan looked at me with a completely lost glance,
- Leila is completely broken. I can't even tell you and explain you what happened to her when she found Catherine ... when the ambulance doctors have declared her death ... They wanted to take Catherine to the morgue, but Leila didn't let them do that.
- It's good that you were with her - I said without strength in my voice.
- How has Lucas reacted? - Ryan asked.
- Calm, too calm. He said nothing, he didn't cry, he just asked where Catherine was. I don't know how to help him - I whispered - I'm so afraid that he won't survive this, that he will close in his little world, and I won't be able to do anything about it - I said helplessly, because that's how I felt at that moment.
- You're already helping him by the fact that you are here now - Ryan tried to cheer me up.

I don't know how long we sat in the kitchen, until Lucas and Leila came up to us. It was impossible to recognize them. Leila was crying all the time, although it seemed that she had no strength for that and Lucas remained silent. He had the same cold look and he kept staring into the emptiness. I felt so scared that he will remain forever in that emptiness, that he will never be the same Lucas I knew...

When, later, Catherine was taken to the morgue, Ryan convinced Leila to go home. In general, it was not necessary to convince her, since she was completely exhausted and it seemed that she didn't understand what was going on - she just followed Ryan as an obedient child.

After Ryan and Leila have left, I came up to Lucas and sat down beside him on the sofa. He didn't even budge, and he continued to stare into nowhere. I was just sitting next to him in silence, not knowing what to say and if it was necessary, at all, to say something at that moment. I just wanted him to know that I was with him and that he wasn't alone in that silence.
Suddenly, after long minutes of silence, I heard his weak voice,
- I didn't even have time to say goodbye ... didn't have time to tell her how much I love her ... - despite the fact that he spoke absolutely calm, his words were impregnated with an immense, incurable pain.
- She always knew that you love her - I whispered, holding back my tears.
- I am left all alone ... I don't have mother anymore, no one ... will ever call me "son" ... - in the same quiet and calm voice, he said. Without hesitation, I took his hand and sat closer to him.
- You're not alone Lucas. You have Leila, for whom you are incredibly needed right now and you have me - at that point, he turned to me and I have stopped, having seen his eyes filled with pain. He was so helpless and defenseless that I wanted at least for a few moments to spare him from that agony so that he could breathe a sigh of relief, and that he could feel again the warmth in his soul. Everything inside me ached with anger that I couldn't help him and that all I could do - was just to stay with him.
- Lucas, my dear - I said, taking his face in my hands - I know that no one will ever replace you mom, and that the pain of loss will always be with you, but you should know that, whatever happens, I will always be with you, always. You'll always have me....
Lucas didn't say anything to this. Instead, he put his hand over mine and slowly took them away from his face. Lucas squeezed my hand between his warm palms, leaned over them and for the first time - he began to cry.... He was crying like a little child and all my attempts not to cry have evaporated. I freed my hands and hugged him as tightly as I could and the next moment we were already crying together...

... Since that day, every year, on April 27 we've began the day by visiting the grave of Catherine. And now, four years later, we were sitting once again at the grave of Catherine. Today, Lucas wasn't crying, but in his voice and in his glance was the same pain of four years ago. Like 4 years ago, I took his hand,
- I will always be with you. Remember? - I asked. Lucas smiled and gently squeezed my hand.
- I know - he said, finally looking at me, and not on the horizon.
- You know? - I asked, a bit surprised by his confidence.
- I know ... because I'll never let you go - he said and his words were like an elixir for my soul.
- I don't want you to let go of me - I said gladly.
- Come to me - Lucas said with a smile, pulling me to him and I fell into his arms. - My little girl - he whispered.
His voice was so gentle and caring, that I felt like a child in his arms. At that moment, I felt so good and calm, that I didn't want to start talking about our quarrel, but we needed to talk and to figure out everything.
- So - I began talking - you're no longer angry with your little girl?
Lucas looked at me a few seconds and smiled,
- I can't be angry at you for a long time and, generally, I can't get mad at you - he said, after which I got rid of his embrace and was again sitting next to him.
- Then, why didn't you answer to any of my phone call, why didn't you want to talk to me? - I asked with interest. He intently looked at me as if he wanted me to read the answer in his eyes.
- I had to get used to the idea that you're again ... with him - the last word he uttered with a special toughness.
- And? - I asked - Did you get used to the idea?
He shook his head,
- I'll never get used to this idea, knowing how much pain he has caused to you - his voice was becoming harder and I began to fear that we will quarrel again.
- Lucas, my dear, you know how I care about you. I don't want to lose you. Please don't leave me. I won't be completely happy, if you won't be a part of my life anymore. I'm not asking you to love André or to accept him. I only wish that we were friends and we were communicating as we used to... - I was talking so fast, to have time to say what I gathered in my soul for the whole week. I wanted to say something else, but Lucas pressed his forefinger to my lips.
- Shhh! - He hissed - I could never leave you...
- I'm sorry if I caused you any pain... - I tried to say to him through the finger the words I didn't get to tell him. After all, it was the most important thing that I wanted to tell him since Amanda told me about how Lucas felt when he consoled me after my separation from André. In response, I heard his hissing again.
When he finally removed his finger from my lips, I asked
- Friends?
Lucas burst out laughing,
- Of course we're friends. Is it possible that after eight years of friendship you thought that you'll get rid of me so easily?
- Yeah - I grumbled.
- Don't even wait - he said with a smile and I felt an incredible lightness in my soul.
- You'd better tell me, are you ready to open the restaurant? - He asked, changing the subject.
- Everything is almost ready, for 99.99% - I said - We open up on Monday evening. It will be a small dinner for friends and family. Will you come?
- Of course! I can't miss an event like this. But ... -