Morning Sunset - Daniela D. I. (novels to read .TXT) 📗

it so happened that he cheated on me, but now it's all in the past and it's only up to me to decide to be with André or not ...
For me it was such a painful problem that at first I didn’t want to talk about it, but when I started talking was no longer possible to stop me. I was so mad at Lucas, that words themselves seemed to fly out of my mouth...
- ... Doesn’t he understand that by his behavior he doesn’t let me be happy - I went on and having realized that I raised my voice, I made a short pause, took a deep breath and said quietly - He is selfish.
- No, this is not true - Leila, immediately stood up for him - You know Emma that this is not true. He was never selfish, especially when it comes to you...
Leila was talking and was looking into my eyes. At some point, I felt so ashamed that I just wanted somewhere to hide or to escape. But since I had nowhere to run, I instinctively hid behind my hands. Leila was right, Lucas is not selfish and never was, and I was very sorry that I said those words.
- I know - I whispered, still hiding behind my hands - I know he's not selfish, I'm just angry at him.
- You must understand that Lucas was with you through all the pain that caused you André - Amanda said, removing my hands from my face - Because...
- Don't - Leila said quietly, trying to stop the speech of Amanda.
- Why? - Amanda asked surprised, looking at Leila. Then she moved her look back at me - Let Emma know why Lucas now is behaving this way - she said.
- What is it?! - I couldn't stand it anymore, because I didn't understand what was happening and what I should know.
- You must understand that we all were hurt by what happened to you. But in particular it touched Lucas. It seemed that your pain was his pain. He was very upset when he saw you so broken...
Every word of Amanda penetrated right into my soul. I knew that Lucas was worried about me, but I never thought that it has touched him somehow in particular, as Amanda said. I never felt that I hurt him. For a moment I imagined what would I feel if I was in his place and my heart sank just at the thought that he could go through all the suffering which I passed through.
I wanted so much that Amanda stopped and said nothing more, but I didn't have the strength to stop her...
- ... He knows better than anyone what you went through. And do you know what he went through? What cost him to put you on your feet and, at the same time, to have the strength always to smile next to you? And, only when he was with us, he was as broken as you were...
I listened to Amanda and didn't want to believe in what she said. Is it possible, that I unwillingly had caused him so much pain? A lump stuck in my throat and it darkened in my eyes. The next second I realized that I was crying. Tears silently ran down my cheeks.
- That's it! Enough! - Leila told Amanda, with a little high voice - You have brought Emma to hysterics...
- I'm OK - I said almost inaudibly, as a lump from my throat went nowhere; it stayed there and was overlapping the air to my lungs.
- I didn't know - it was the next thing I whispered, after which Leila sat next to me and hugged me.
- We know, but it was difficult for him, too. You know how close you are. You feel his pain and he feels yours...
- I know. But what could I do? - I asked, and this question was more addressed to me than to Leila or Amanda - I love André, I want to be with him, but I don't want to be torn between him and Lucas.
- You know - I addressed to Leila - that I really love Lucas, he is a huge part of my life, part of me, but ... he will have to live with the fact that I have reconciled with André.
I looked at the girls. They exchanged glances, but said nothing. On their faces I read that they disagreed with me. After a few seconds of silence, Amanda asked me a question that I didn’t expect and that drove me to a dead-end.
- So ... are you saying that you're willing to lose Lucas for the sake of André?
They both looked at me and waited for an answer, but I didn't even want to think about such a possibility. I didn’t want to choose between them, because they were both dear to me. I don't want to lose Lucas, I can't lose him, I can't, I can't ... it's all that sounded in my head.
I lowered my head and didn't answer to Amanda's question. A few minutes, the kitchen of our restaurant was reigned by a complete silence.
Hadn't heard the answer to her question, Amanda simply, silently, was staring at me. She didn't say a word, however, as Leila, but that silence was louder than any words.
- Well - Leila broke the silence - Wipe the tears - she said to me - and let's not be sad anymore. You didn't even ask me how I’ve rest, where I've been, what I've seen! Aren't you interested?
- Of course we are interested - I with Amanda answered with one voice - We listen to you very carefully. Tell us.
Leila began telling how she and Ryan rested and I honestly tried to hear what she was saying, but my thoughts all the time flew first to Lucas, then to André ... The main thing is that in the end, I realized that Leila was pleased with the way they rested.
- It's all very interesting - Amanda said - but you don’t tell us the most important thing. Did Ryan ask you to marry him or did he not?
- No, not yet - Leila smiled, but in her smile was something ... something sad.
- I don't understand Ryan - Amanda said - What does he expect? You are together for such a long time. I was sure that he planned this trip to make you a proposal. Why didn’t he do that? - In complete bewilderment she asked.
- I don’t know - Leila said calmly - maybe he's just not ready yet and I don't want to put pressure on him.
- The main thing that you have each other - said Amanda who also noticed a shadow of sadness on Leila's face. Leila didn't respond to the words of Amanda, she just smiled and nodded in agreement.
After our lunch break, we all went back to work without stopping for conversations anymore, the fact that made me very happy because another conversation on the topic of Lucas, I wouldn't already survive.
In the evening, after work, I decided to visit my parents. I wanted to talk with my mother, to tell her everything; also I wanted for a few moments to feel like a child, because only there it was still possible. I've always liked to sit in my room in my parents' house, where was my secret refuge. Since I moved into my apartment, nothing has changed in my room in my parents' house. It was the same room of a little girl who dreamed of becoming an adult as soon as possible, who dreamed to meet her prince on a white horse and to live with him happily ever after. But as the years passed and I became an adult, I began to realize that the life isn't a fairy tale, that the prince doesn't exist and that, if you want to achieve something, you have to fight for it.
That evening, I told my mother what had happened. She wasn't thrilled, but she didn’t criticize me either and she was as caring as always. I knew that she disapproved my choice and that she always wanted that I and Lucas were together, but this hadn’t happened.
My mother knew that I suffered because of André, but she didn't know the whole truth, she didn't see all of my pain as Lucas saw it, and maybe that's why she took this news more calmly.
- Darling - she said with a sweet and loving voice - I want you to be happy and if you need André for this, then let it be so. Just be sure that you are with a right man.
I haven't had time to answer, because my father entered the kitchen - he was the same merry and cheerful as always. It seemed that he hasn't changed over the years. Only a light gray on his hair betrayed his age.
- What are my girls whispering about? - He asked, having sat beside me at the table.
- Oh, about various things - I smiled - about work, about love.
- About love? - He asked - It's interesting. And, what do you have in plan of love? Are there any changes?
- There are. I reconciled with André - I said briefly, as if ripping off the bandage quickly, in order not to feel the pain from removing it.
Dad, in amazement, looked at me for a few seconds, then he said,
- I hope you know what you're doing and if you've decided, then let it be so - he said, and I was ready to heave a sigh of relief, when suddenly my father, very seriously, added - but if he hurts you again, his foot will no longer be in my house, even though you like it or not.
I looked at my father, but I didn't object anything to him, as I knew that if he said so, then it would be impossible to convince him back. I just sighed and took a sip of tea that my mother has prepared, and, despite the fact what my father said, it was the first time for the whole day I felt calm and I even thought that everything will be fine.

The reunion

Life went on as usual. Because of work, the days were passing so quickly that I didn't have time to look back as the week has already passed. As the days were passing, it seemed to us that the work will never end and we won't be able to open the restaurant on time as planned. We had for a while to forget about our loved ones and about our friends and to concentrate fully on the job.

At first André wasn't happy about this, but then he realized that the sooner we'll settle