when the sky falls - kerry (life changing books txt) 📗

unlock it climbing into the driver’s side and speeding off.

I pull in my drive way and produce my house key unlocking the door. “I’m going to bed.” I said to Leo as I climbed up the stairs.

“Ok.”

I plopped onto my bed a got under my black blanket hiding my entire body and closing my eyes.

“Can we talk?” Leo asked as he knocked on my door as his soft voice drifted through the wood.”

“sure.” I whispered as I stood up and unlocked my door throwing it open for him.

“Thank you, Josh.” He says with a smile on his face.

“No problem.” I say as I motion for him to sit down on my bed.

“Look…” he stutters glancing up at me. “I need to be completely honest with you…”

I nod my head. “So do I.”

“Go on.” He mutters.

I take a deep breath. “I lied.”

“abo-“

I silenced him as I tackled him onto my bed lying on top of him. “I love you Leo.”

“I love you to, Jos-“

“-h wake up!”

I open my eyes. It was just a dream…

I glanced up at the beautiful boy standing in front of me and start to cry... “It was just a dream.” I whisper before burying my head in my pillow.

Leo’s P.O.V

“Josh! Wake up!”

He opens his eyes and stares at me. I was getting ready to leave when he starts to cry.

And whisper “it was just a dream.” I stand there panicked as I see Josh Smith cry, for the first time, he cries.

“Josh!! calm down! What’s a matter?”

“I lied.” He mutters.

“About?”
He sits there for a second without saying anything and not moving.

He takes a deep breath. “Never mind, Leo.”

“Wait, please…talk to me……”

"no." he gets up and tries to leave.

i reach my arm out and stop him pulling him back on his bed. "stay, please."

This is who i'm gonna be

“No…I can’t. Look Leo I should go. Just….um just forget about today, Please?” I stuttered.

I wanted to tell him, what my dream was about and why I was so sad…but I didn’t want to. Make sense?

“Please?” he pleaded.

His eyes began to shine and I made the mistake of looking at him. I took a deep breath.

“ok.”

“What did you lie about?” he asked me.

“I…I love you, Leo.” I braced myself prepared for his rejection.

“I love you too, Josh.” I wanted to smile and hug him and hold him. But…I wasn’t gay, was i?

“This is….this is just too weird, Leo…”

“What are you talking about, Josh?”

I shook my head violently. “I’m…I’m not gay!”

“How can you love a boy, and not be gay??”

I shook my head again and bit my tongue…”Well maybe I lied…Maybe I got the mixed feelings. Look, Leo….I’m not gay!”

“Let me try something, and then you tell me if you’re gay!”

“What are you tryi-“

He leaned towards me and placed his lips on mine. Instead of becoming frozen or pushing him away, I kissed him back. I wound my hands into his hair as we deepened the kiss. “Leo…” I moaned as I pulled my body away.

What the fuck!? I screamed at myself. JOSH YOU ARE NOT FUCKING GAY!

I bit my lip and glanced up at him. “I’m not gay.” I whispered.

“Psh.” He shook his head. “Then how do you explain, what just happened? You knew it was me, and you also know that I’m a guy. How do you explain the reason why you just made out with me instead of stopping and pushing me away?”

I was confused. But all I knew was that I wasn’t gay..that i couldnt be gay

“Enough, Leo!” It’s not like that…I’m not like that.

“Just admit it.”

I shook my head. “NO! I think you should leave, now.”

Leo stood up and pursed his lips. “if you aren’t true to who you really are, and you aren’t honest to yourself….you’re never going to go anyway in life, and you’ll never make real friends…because no one will know the real you… so stop hiding, and be you.”

He turned towards my bedroom door and walked out, shutting it silently behind him.

I sighed and fell back on my bed. “Just relax Josh. “I whispered to myself.

I closed my eyes, and tried to forget the world, but I couldn’t get the image of Leo out of my head. His baby blue eyes, his gorgeous body and that smile that he can never hold back. His adorable face, he has the perfect amount of messy hair, spiked, brown….the silver taper in his left ear…and just the way he carries his personality around and shows it off. It’s just always shinning bright. And my favorite…his lips. He has the kind of lips that you just want to keep kissing.

I shake my head…I think I’m gay...

“I think I’m gay.” I whisper out loud.

I take my fist and slam it into my mirror. I can’t be fucking gay!

“Fuck!!!”

Leo’s P.O.V

“Fuck!!!”

I hear Josh scream.

I jump off my bed and run into Josh’s room. “What the hell is a matter?!?” I scream as I see Josh curled in a ball on his floor, his fist bleeding, glass shattered all around him.
I rush to his side as I see a tear drop from his eyes.

“I can’t be gay. I can’t be gay. I can’t be gay.” He keeps muttering. I reach out and rest my arm on him.

“It doesn’t matter whether, you’re gay or straight.”

He shook his head repeadently. “No, you don’t understand…Leo, you just don’t!” he slammed his other fist into the wall making a knuckle print.

“Why does it matter?” I ask not quite understanding what the big deal of being gay was.

“My father...” I hear him whisper. “He was very homophobic. He hated everything about it…I promised him one day when we were fishing that I would be just like him, I would follow in his exact footsteps….starting with finding a girl that would put up with my dumb ass all the time..That I would be as much as a dick to people as he was. Dicks are for chicks. Not another fucking dude! I don’t care that my father left. I’m going to be just like him. It’s too late to change the way things are in the past and I don’t tend on trying, I plan on repeating the past, exactly.”

I shook my head. “Why the hell would you want to be a no good, piece of shit?”

He smiled a huge, mocking smile. “That’s how this family is. My father, my uncle. And I shall follow in their footsteps.”

“You can break the history; you don’t have to keep repeating it.”

He shook his head. “Yes, I know.”

He stormed out of his room. I stood there for a second. I was in love with a guy that was positively going to be an ass hole, just like his father and uncle….well, I’m screwed.

*BEEEEEEEEP* I hear tires screeching against the pavement and people screaming.

I quickly run out of the house….and fall on the ground crying.

Why does the worst always happen...When i fall in love...Leo's P.O.V<3

“Josh!” I scream as tears begin pouring down my face and falling at my feet.

All I can see is blood, there’s blood everywhere.

I quickly yank out my cell phone and dial 911, my heart was pounding faster than should be possible. I could hear it in my ears. And it was so hard to push the buttons, I was shaking so bad.

“hello!” I scream into the speaker.

“this is 911 whats your emergency.” A calm voice replies.

“My…my boyfriend! He’s been hit by a car…I need medical assistance immediantly!” I panicked.

“what is your location?”

I told her the location, getting annoyed at her calm voice. I know they were trained like that to keep the victim calm, but it still irritates the piss out of me, it makes me feel like they just really don’t care. Because in reality most of them don’t. they’re just doing this….For the money…it’s fucked up.

It felt like forever, that I sat there holding Josh, begging and willing for him to be ok.

I’m athetist and I was sitting there praying to a god that I don’t believe in, that everything will be ok…that he’ll open his eyes….that I can hear his laugh…and maybe Josh and I really could have something together…But he doesn’t open his eyes….i stare at his eyelids, urging them to fling open, so I can stare into his beautiful blue eyes, and they never do.

I watch as the EMT’s get Josh onto a stretcher. I quickly climb in the back with the one EMT and Josh.

“We’re losing his heartbeat!” the EMT screams at the driver.

The EMT pulls the ambulance over and climbs in the back, forcing my body against the door.

“ please let him be ok.” I whisper as one of my tears attack the floor.

Josh’s P.O.V,….

“Josh!” I glance around.

Everything is so bright here…it just doesn’t feel real. It feels like one of those perfect dreams….

“Daddy!” I hear a little girl scream for across the field.

A field? A field of flowers…what the fuck is going on here?

I scratch my head, puzzled with the picture in front of me.

“daddy?” I mutter to myself…