Return to First Love - Leandra A. (dark academia books to read TXT) 📗

him that she already forgot her feelings for him.

 

He doesn't look like he's so in love with me, it's all one sided in my part, that's what she would tell herself whenever she thinks of how he treated her on the past. And it always surprise her how much he still affects her whenever she remembers the past. I need to stop this once and for all, that's what she decided in order for both of them to stop dwelling on the past.

 

Just like what they agreed on, Anne nonchalantly went ahead and wait for him in his front door for them to discuss things between them. But when he opened the door she was so surprised to see Zack who looks like he just finished his bath with his hair still dripping with water and a towel hanging on his neck. 

 

She suddenly became aware that she was about to enter a man's room and be all alone with a man who said that he wish her to be his again.

 

I might be crazy to even think of being alone with this man is fine, is what she thought, realizing that it's impossible for her not to feel anything seeing him like this and suddenly remembers the first time he touched her.

 

  Forget what I said earlier, there's nothing to talk about us now, she told him and then avert her eyes to him.

 

She was about to leave his front door when Zack noticed her being conscious of him and then pulled her hand to let her inside his room.

 

Didn't I say that we should stop this cat and mouse chase that we've been doing? Zack said to her while pinning her on his room's door after he closed it.

 

Ouch, It Hurts Zack...stop this! I won't forgive you even if this just for a joke, I'll be mad if you do this! She shouted at him and then tried to retaliate from his hands that is holding her. What has gotten into you suddenly? she asked him and tried to calm him down in order for them to be able to talk.

 

Anne...No...Lian! I really hate it when you try to avoid that subject of us being together again and the way you avert your eyes every time our eyes met, he said and then slowly remove his hands from her and then hugged her.

 

Even I will start to loose my confidence if you do that, I keep on telling myself that it's gonna be alright, that your feelings for me haven't change, but deep inside I'm scared by the thought of you hating me instead and unable to forgive my old self that has taken your feelings for granted, he continued and then hugged her more tightly.

 

She almost hugged him back upon hearing his words but she was able stop her hands from hugging him back. She just realized that what Zack said might be true. 

 

What if the real reason why she can't forget him is not because she is still in love with him, but because she hated him for taking granted her honest feelings she gave to him, ten years ago. 

 

Maybe that's the reason why she can't believe his words saying that he was in love with her at that time, because not even once did she felt him loving her the same way.

 

Zack...I'm sorry...I'm really sorry, I really don't know how I really feels about you now, she told him in a trembling voice that sounded like she's about to cry.

 

So just like what I thought, you really did hated me this much that you can't even tell it yourself, he said then release her and touch her face, But for now can't you just move with the flow and let yourself believe that you're still in love with me? he told her and then gave her a kiss.

 

Zack...Wait, she said while grasping and trying to catch her breath that she can hardly do.

 

I've waited long enough for you, letting you say again that you love me can wait until next time, so please just let yourself with me at least for now, he said and the gave her a passionate kiss that's deeper than earlier

 

She can't find the strength to resist his strong feelings for her, that was flowing from his kiss and his touch. Once again she thought she was caught up from the heat of moment, but still she realize the fact that she doesn't hate his kisses and his touch. It was the same reason why even right now, she still let him do whatever he wants to her.

 

Once Again

I can see the moonlight slipping through his window behind his back while I'm lying under him. The room was cold, yet I'm not in slightest feeling cold because of the heat our bodies were releasing right now. These hands that's touching me felt so warm on this body of mine, that's trembling from the heat and sensation I'm feeling right now.

 

Zack wait...don't do this, I muttered as I felt his hands slowly undo my shirt's button and removing my undergarments. It seems that I lost my strenght to even fight back the hand that's been pinning me, making me unable to move and gets up.

 

Ahh...Hmp! I almost bite my tounge from trying to hold down my voice when I suddenly felt his hand caressed my chest and felt his tounge touching it. Let me hear your voice, his deep, calm voice whispers to me and even pressed his lips and tounge harder to my skin and leave his mark all over me.

 

When I open my eyes the next morning, the first thing that I saw was this man's sleeping face and his arms that's clinging to me. I slowly remove his arms and crawl to get my clothes, I can't believe we have done it again.

 

Sigh...what am I doing? I sighed as I fix my clothes and hair, ready to secretly go back without waking him up. What cold woman, to secretly leave his man behind without giving him a goodbye kiss, I turn my head and saw him wide awake, grinning at me. But when he stand up half naked, I turned my head again away from him, I...I just don't want to disturb you while you sleep, I muttered.

 

I can feel him moving closer to me, What are you getting shy for, he whisper to me as he hugged me from the back. Should we take a bath together as well, he muttered at me and suddenly I can feel my warm blood getting in my head and bet that my face now is bit red. 

 

I...It's not like that, I just really need to go now, I muttered then suddenly this man snickered and gave me a laugh.Pfft...hahaha...I...I'm sorry...It's just that your face and reaction, I can't get enough of this, he let out such laugh which made me irritated and pissed at him.

 

You! I tried to control myself in throwing my fist at him, I'll go first now! I shouted at him and leave him for good now. I could still hear his laugh echoing in my ears as I go back to my room.

 

When I entered my room, my knees gave up on me and I can feel my heart thumping so strong it almost want to get out of my chest. It aches...everywhere he touched...burns with heat.

 

I can't forget you, his words keeps on repeating in my head which made me unable to calmdown,My god, I'm really hopeless, I muttered and almost felt like killing myself because of embarassment.

 

The next day, I came to work like nothing happened and tried to act as normal as I could in front him. He would still stare and look at me intensely but as usual, I just ignore it while at work.

 

What is that red mark right here, my assistant asks me while pointing at the left side of her neck, What mark are you saying, I asked and then touch the left side of my neck as well. Shit! these words almost came out my mouth as I remember the man who left those kiss marks all over me yesterday, I can't believe he leave it as well on such obvious place! Is what I thought and then turn my head and glares at him.

 

Later on I immediately went to the restroom to see if there are other marks visible aside from the one that's on my neck, Sigh...so this is the only one visible, I sighed in relief and then covers it with a band aid and used the excuse that it was only an insect bite. Arrgh! For some reason I need to act with my face keeping its smile in front of him, which is unnecessarily embarassing as well!

 

I was about to the rest room when suddenly a hand dragged me inside and locked the door. I was waiting for your message and was calling you, but you never pick them up, as I thought it was Zack who pulled me in, I was busy and there's nothing to talk about, I said to him and remove his hands that's holding me, Didn't I tell you I hate it when you're forceful like this, I told him and he back away a little from me.

 

He turn his look on my neck with the the bad aid on it, I'm sorry about this, he said and then remove the band aid that's hiding the kiss mark that he left before. That will be the last time and this will begone soon enough anyway so I'll forgive you for leaving it in such an obvious place, I muttered then suddenly he grabbed my hand and move closer to me.

 

I'll just have to make it deeper so that it won't disappear immediately if that's needed, he whispered and again bite on the same spot where he leaved his mark before. Ouch! what the hell are you doing, I then pushed him away from me and felt that there's even blood now coming from his bite mark.

 

Hey, tell me something...why are you avoiding me, he asked me while looking at me all serious, I'm not avoidin y..., I was about to answer him when he cut me out, Are you in love with me?  he suddenly asked me, No! I shouted to him and then walk away from him, I have forgotten you already and even date other guys and have relationship with other men as well, I added then felt his hand grabbing my arms, not letting me go.

 

You are really such a bad liar, he muttered and then suddenly kissed me. Nngg...Uhnn...I can feel his tounge slipping inside my mouth, Zack! Stop! I don't want to...Uhnn, I then gave him a slap on his face and the run away from him.

 

I need to get out of this room and get away from him, is what I thought as I ran away and went back to my apartment. That's right I already decided a long time ago...to not fall in love with him again. But why do I feel like anytime soon I can see myself giving up and falling harder for him than before?