Brain on Porn (Social #2) - DeYtH Banger (a book to read TXT) 📗

my brain freeze because of unexpected questions.

Of course, I am not a Buddhist monk and not a self-control champion, but I became quieter, and because of that, a lot of things in my life have changed for the better. The most important thing is that I have gained more control over myself and over a situation.

I’ve got the feeling like I managed something and I was not a stooge for my own feelings and external circumstances. This new feeling was very pleasant and I recommend everyone to experience it.

And if I still believe that being nervous is “normal”, that’s the way I am and I cannot do anything about it – I would have never achieved any results at all.

 

Practiсe – Tips and Advice

 

The practical part of the article will consist of several parts:

Preparation – What you need to do to prepare your body for a possible stress and be less nervous, for example, during an important meeting. Self-control on a real time basis – How to control yourself in a stressful situation Dealing with the consequences – How to calm down after the stress Prophylactic Treatment – How to teach your body not to respond to stress

 

Training

 

If you are nervous before some important event or activity, then it is time to be prepared not to allow anxiety negatively affecting the course of events. The more self-collected and concentrated you are, the greater will your chances of success be.

This applies to job interviews, important meetings, negotiations, dates, sporting events, etc. What shall you do if you are unable to pull yourself together in front of one of such events?

 

Do not Dramatize

 

If you’re worried about something, very often this “something” appears to be a trifle, a harmless thing. Will you not take the job? So what? You will find another. Will you look ridiculous in front of people? So what? What do you care what other people will think of you?

Consider every vital issue in some context of your whole life and of extended period of time, instead of the perspective of immediate necessity. For example, you worry about that the girl you like will refuse to meet you.

So what? In a few months you will surely forget her and you will meet another girl. If you fall in love with someone, it does not mean that he/she is the person of your whole life.

Try to think about the situations that make you feel anxiety. Try to think over coolly and calmly. Many problems seem to be serious and significant, at first glance, but if you think about them better, their significance disappears at once.

Unexpected baying of dogs can scare you, but if you pull yourself together and assess the situation, it may appear that the dog is on the other side of the iron fence, attached to a chain and it barks not at you at all.

As well as human problems: suddenness can be confusing, but once you look closer, everything is getting better than it seemed to be from the very beginning.

If you are unable to reflect on the object of your worries quietly (most likely it will be so), and you are still worried and still keep the same thoughts under your hat – then do not think about the upcoming situation at all.

Keep your mind off this. It’s not all that simple: annoying thoughts will attack you again and again.

Try not to become obsessed with them, switch to something else every time they occur. The exercises given by me below will help you cope with these difficulties.

And remember, there is no sense to be nervous.

But telling yourself to calm down is not always enough, because your organism still responds to stress, as it is used to respond, no matter what you may think and no matter how you are winding yourself up. So you need to work with your body.

 

Relax your Whole Body

 

Relaxed body = a quiet mind. Yoga and many relaxation techniques are based on this principle. This truth has long been known by people who are able to control themselves.

Try to direct your attention to the muscles and relax the tension in them. If you get it, you will feel calmer and more relaxed.

 

Eliminate Nervous Gestures

 

Stop going back and forth in nervous anticipation. Stop biting your nails, running fingers through your hair, running out to smoke every 10 minutes – in a word, stop doing things your body does when you are nervous.

Sit down quietly and motionless, relax. Watch yourself.

 

Breathe with your Stomach

 

When people are nervous, they breathe with their chest. Thus, breath is increased and intermittent. In order to calm down, you should breathe smoothly with your stomach at regular intervals. The technique is used in traditional medicine, as well as in ancient practices like yoga. The so-called diaphragmatic breathing has long been proven to be effective.

After a smoked cigarette a smoker feels relaxation, not only because of the nicotine action. He inhales and exhales slowly, thereby he stabilizes his breath and he calms down.
Take the advantage of this effect, but without cigarettes.

How to breathe with your diaphragm? Sitting in a quiet and motionless posture, place your hand on your stomach (this is necessary for self-control; later, when you will learn the technique, you will have to do it no more).

You have to breathe in and out at equal time duration. For example, inhale 5 seconds – exhale 5 seconds. You can hold your breath between inhalation and exhalation. Inhale – 5 seconds, holding the breath – 2 seconds, exhale – 5 seconds, holding the breath – 2 seconds.

Do the exercises with or without delays – as you wish. The hand, which lies on your stomach, goes up and down in time with your stomach movement, while chest remains motionless. It is important!

When you will learn to breathe with stomach, there will be no necessary to keep your hand on it (stomach).

Try to keep the attention on breath and on intervals between inhalation and exhalation. Do not be distracted by foreign thoughts and silently count to yourself.

A single session can last from 2 to 5 minutes, and can take longer depending on your feelings.

This is a very effective exercise that always helps me when I want to calm down and pull myself together. Try doing it when you are strained, feel the instant relaxation that the simple practice gives to you!

 

Self-control on a Real Time Basis

 

So, all eyes are on you. During an event, job interview or a meeting you do not always have the opportunity to sit down, relax and try to pull yourself together. You need to speak and answer to the questions in a timely manner. What shall you do in such situations?

Watch your facial expressions, gestures and intonation

Watch your body. Make sure that your movements are glide, speech tempo is constant and facial muscles are relaxed. If you notice that you began to speak quickly or make too many sudden movements, stop yourself.

Your goal is to make sure that your appearance expresses complete serenity. The inner tranquility creates the exterior one, and vice versa. The quieter your posture and facial expression are, the quieter you are inside. Human emotions are connected with the body by a positive feedback.

That is why people are advised to smile more often: if a person tries to portray some emotion on his face, then he begins to feel that emotion. You can check it by yourself. Smile to someone!

Why you need to watch yourself? Because when you watch your body and its movements and when you try to control them, you remain alert for what is going on inside you.

As though, you keep your mind away from emotions by changing it to the position of an outside observer. This is a good way to keep some distance between your true ego and feelings of the present moment. It allows you to keep your concentration and tranquility.

Some emotional storm may rage within you, but your mind will still be quiet. Perhaps it is difficult to understand by those who have never experienced it. But this ability comes with practice of self-control.

 

Take your Time

 

Haste never brings to good. It is able to provoke nervousness and distracted attention. Haste is the need to do something quickly, but, as a rule, it does not have any positive impact on the speed of particular task implementation.

When you rush, you start fussing, abruptly switching from one subject to another. In this state, you can easily forget something, not to finish some business, leaving it for another task. This will negatively affect the result quality.

Therefore, do not hurry, even if time is running out and someone hurry you up (this is done by those people who do not understand that one should not hurry). Do everything in your natural speed: quietly, measured and collected.

Carefully prepare for your performances, do not hurry to answer the questions as soon as possible, your speech should not be very fast.

 

Dealing with the Consequences

 

Everything is over! Relax and do not forget about the subjunctive “if” (“if I spoke better”, “if it had not slipped my mind”). If you failed to pull yourself together and you were very worried, in spite of all your efforts – do not be upset.

Self-control is not an easy task and requires a long and hard work on yourself. Analyze your mistakes, but do not dwell on them.

Relax and clean up your breath. Diaphragmatic breathing will help you relieve nervous tension.

Prophylactic Treatment

It is not enough to be able to suppress the nervousness attacks, it would be better if you become less nervous at all. For this, you shall carry out regular preventive measures.

Follow the Sleep Schedule

Permanent lack of sleep badly affect your health and, in particular, your nervous system. Make sure you sleep at least 8 hours each day. It is desirable to sleep in one and the same time. The main principle is regularity and proper duration.

More than 8 hours sleep is not recommended as well.

Compliance with the sleep schedule does wonders! It makes you more energetic, alert and increases your resistance to stress.

 

Eat Healthy Food

 

Eat a balanced and varied food. Your body needs to get a full range of vitamins. Eat less fried and fast food. Use more food that contains the necessary substances for your nervous system (magnesium, vitamin B, zinc, antioxidants): wholegrain food, nuts, various fruits and vegetables.

Drink more water. Dehydration can provoke a stress.

Be engaged in physical activity

Move more, and spend your time outdoors as much as possible. Try to rest from the computer when you have such opportunity.

Go in for sports. Sport strengthens the body and relieves tension and stress very well.

Meditate, Practise Yoga

First, a single session of meditation helps you relax very well. Second, regular practice increases your resistance to stress.

That is why the imperturbable tranquility became the visiting card of a skilled yogi or of an experienced adherent of meditation.

In comparison with yoga, the newcomer will need no special place and an experienced instructor nearby in order to meditate. You can meditate anywhere. It is very easy to learn the basics of meditation and even an inexperienced person can do it.

Read more about this in my article how to meditate properly.

 

Get Rid of Bad Habits

 

Despite the fact that smoking and alcohol can calm you down for a short time, the substances contained in cigarettes, alcohol and other drugs adversely affect your nervous system.

The more and more often you use alcohol and other drugs, the more your body is subjected to stress in daily life. Drink less coffee! Caffeine triggers the release of stress hormones in your body.

Try not to Create Stressful Situations by Yourself

When I was at university, I always squandered the study time. At the examination time I was totally unprepared and knew nothing. I was hoping that I’m lucky, that I will be able to write off or pass the examination in any original way.

In such a situation you can be sure of nothing. Because of my lack of responsibility, every time I risked my expulsion from the university. Such prospects make you