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practiced. They consciously pushed themselves out of their comfort zones, to meet new people, to socialize and to apply techniques like the other 4 mentioned above. Do the same, and you’ll see the same kind of results with your conversational skills.

 

Finally, remember that you don’t have to keep a conversation going no matter what. If you see the person you’re talking to is simply refusing to participate in the conversation and be sociable, you can end the conversation politely and go talk to someone else. However, I believe you have the responsibility to at least try and make a conversation work. And if you do this well, you will be significantly more able to make great friends and influence people.

 

 

How To Have Cyber Sex

(I was going to talking about cyber sex... but... let's face it... you don't want to have sex with monitor or with a computer... do ya?

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So let's go for real results.)

 

 

6 Signs You Don't Realize You're Actually In The Right Relationship

 

 

 

Sometimes it's not a matter of finding the right relationship, but realizing when you have it.

The story we're sold about love usually doesn't go past the exposition. The part people write about and talk about and make films about is the seeking, finding, losing and finding again.

We talk about heartbreak and loss, and how we grapple with ourselves and our partners, but we don't talk about the mundane, the ordinary, the everyday lives we ultimately settle back into once the firework show has ended. 

 

Because we're conditioned to think that the chase and the thrill and the acquisition of love is love itself, we're hooked on ideas more than we are open to connection. We can more easily identify what doesn't work about a relationship before we can take solace in what does.

 

 

We aren't willing to do the work. Work isn't romantic. Work isn't fun. The story about love that we're sold is one in which it makes everything happy and light and easy. Even if we think we're wise enough to see beyond it, most people subconsciously succumb in one way or another. Maybe it isn't about being able to determine whether or not someone is the "right fit" for us, but being able to determine how far we're willing to push ourselves to really see.

 

Oftentimes, the relationships we're inaren't wrong, they're just not what we imagined they'd be. At some point or another, most people need a gentle wake-up call — a little reminder that love is what we foster, not what we find. Here are all the signs that maybe you're already in the right relationship. It's just a matter of seeing it through. 

 

1. You feel at peace. 

 

In any other situation, this would put you at ease. But lately, it's left you questioning whether or not that romantic spark still exists. The truth is that the kind of love that lasts, the kind on which you build a respectful, intimate, real relationship, makes you feel at peace. It's more comfort than it is panic and thrill. There's a difference between settling into comfort and settling for less than a love that makes you feel like your best, most grounded self. 

 

2. You know how to resolve your old relationship patterns.

 

When you arrive at the point that you're able to recognize a pattern emerging, you're also at the point where you're ready to let it go. Often in the best relationships, these issues stand front-and-center. It's never a matter of whether or not you experience them, but whether or not you resolve them.  

 

 

 

3. You realize that nobody is responsible for your happiness but you. 

 

When most people give up on love, it's because they've reached the point at which the other person doesn't make them happy. The harsh reality is that nobody else can make you happy — not consistently, anyway. Regardless, that's never something you should rely on.

Unhappy periods will come and go, but your bond has to be stronger. The key to that is fueling your own gas tank; as anyone in a long-term relationship can tell you, it's unrealistic attachment and expectation that sinks the ship faster than anything else. 

 

4. You have an unprecedented level of acceptance for one another. 

 

This is often an overlooked quality for a relationship, but it's an important one. The right relationship is the one in which you have a mutual acceptance and respect for one another. In other words, you're not trying to change each other. You don't tease each other for the little things. You see who the person is in their entirety, not just the parts you'd prefer. 

 

 

5. You want the same things in the long-term.

There are so many crucial practicalities when it comes to choosing a life partner who's suited for you, though none of them seem very romantic on the surface. One of the most important is whether or not you want the same things in the big picture: kids or dogs or both? Suburbs or city? If any one person has to compromise a fundamental part of the life they want to live for the sake of the relationship, it likely won't work out. 

 

6. You both want to make it work. 

 

All relationships have issues. Making it through them is usually only a matter of whether or not both parties have a deep, innate desire to do so. There's a lot of work, compromise and sacrifice that goes into fostering a healthy, loving bond, and if you aren't willing to give it all you have, you probably won't make it through the trials that you will inevitably face. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

C H A P T E R _ Z E R O - Dash (Part 5)

Red Flags: When To Start Giving Up On Relationships

 

 

 

Falling in love with someone can be a wonderful experience. As you learn about one another, you begin to see new ways of learning and experiencing life. There is little that disrupts the flow of a newly budding relationship and it is easy to become swept away by the attraction.

However, once you have settled into your role as a partner, the attraction and adoration may no longer enough. You will face the challenge of working out problems. Unfortunately, some couples never recover from the hardships of learning how to compromise and growing together.

So, how do you know when it’s time to start giving up on relationships?

 

There isn’t enough quality time

 

You or your partner is seeking pleasure and satisfaction outside of the relationship.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a couple having different interests. In fact, two people in a healthy relationship should have experiences that they enjoy independently as well as together.  The struggle comes when one or both of the partners begin to seek enjoyment outside of the relationship at all times.

While this may seem like an insignificant problem, the lack of quality time spent together can compromise the health of the relationship in the long run.

Be sure to balance the time you spend doing what you love and the time you spend with your partner. If you find yourself relieved when you are not around your partner, it may be time to reconsider the future of the relationship.

 

The relationship is experiencing unfaithfulness

 

 

Unfaithfulness is like a wound that is unable to properly heal. There may be forgiveness and closure, but the harm the action caused will never fully disappear. All that may be left is a scar and there will always be evidence of the hurt.

Infidelity is commonly referred to as “cheating” and typically includes any sexual relationship outside of two exclusive partners. Cheating or infidelity, however, can also present as emotional or visual. If you find yourself looking at others for visual pleasure or you experience an emotional connection with another person that should only exist within your relationship, you may need to take the time to reflect on your relationship.

 

You become uncomfortable as a couple in social settings

If one or both of you are visibly uncomfortable when you are in public together, something is probably wrong.

This does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship. It may simply mean that there is a problem that needs to be addressed.

But, if one of you is intentionally avoiding the other when you’re with friends and family, the problem may have deeper roots. It may be the right time to talk it out with your partner and reevaluate things.

 

There are red flags of abuse

 

If you are harming your partner intentionally, either by words or by actions, then the health of your relationship is already diminishing. If your partner is doing things with the intent to harm you, it is time to walk away. No loving or healthy relationship comes with the intention to harm.

There may be times when a person does something that hurts the one he loves the most, but if this hurt has progressed to intentional, hurtful behavior, it is better to just walk away. Talk to local resources offering help for dating or domestic abuse. The trained individuals in these institutions may be able to provide you with a clearer answer about the abuse you are experiencing.

You and your partner are traveling in very different directions

 

 

Lastly, no matter how much time has passed since you decided to become an exclusive couple, life can still lead you to two separate directions. Differences in passions, desires and hopes for the future often spell the end of a relationship.

Healthy couples either work through these differences or mutually decide to end their partnership. Other couples have difficulty with this process and the ending of the relationship can be quite ugly. But, regardless of how messy it may look, it is important to know who you are and what you want. Your joy in life, no matter what you are doing, is what you pass on to the people around you and to your children.

 

Is staying with this person going to uplift you and encourage you to continue seeking joy? Or is staying with this person going to bring you down and discourage you from going after what you desire out of life?

 

Remember, it is never too late to walk away. Some of the best and healthiest relationships involve people who never give up and continue to grow with one another. If only one person is choosing to grow, change and move forward, is the relationship going in the right direction?

 

 

Note: YOu are socially fucked up... if you don't know how to move your next chess pieces... there are ways..... and people should know it...

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Closing CONVO

 

 

 

Leave The Past Behind: 6 Ways To Learn The Art Of Un-Loving

 

 

 

Learning how to fall out of love isn’t easy.

You simply can’t stop thinking about them. They don’t return your texts, never call back, and don’t want to see you anymore- yet you keep on loving them.

 

People stick to bad relationships for many reasons and the most powerful one is being ‘in love’. While the feeling is positive, it can bring a lot of negative effects, especially if the feeling isn’t mutual anymore.

Relationships can become difficult and sacrifices may be necessary. This, however, doesn’t mean that you have to give up respect in your relationship. If this is exactly your case, it’s probably the right time to start learning how to fall out of love.

Here are 6 ways to help you learn the art of un-loving.

 

1. Give yourself time

 

Falling out of love takes

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