How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #3) - DeYtH Banger (bts book recommendations TXT) 📗

more time than falling in love. That’s why you can count on time to help you deal with your problem. It’s true that time does heal. It can influence that part of your brain that keeps on loving the person.

By giving yourself time, it doesn’t mean that you’ll just wait for all your emotions to go away. While you are healing, find out a new hobby you can try. Exercise and hang out with your friends or just do activities that make you feel good. You’ll feel calmer and more relaxed.

 

2. Stop replaying memories

 

When you’re thinking about the good times you’ve spent with the person you’re trying to un-love, you’re only hurting yourself. You need to get out of your head and stop replaying these memories.

You can’t expect yourself to detach from your past relationship if the memories are still alive in your brain. If you keep on doing that, you’ll also start to imagine the good times you could have together in the future. And that’s not a way to move on.

 

3. Remove all reminders from eyesight

 

 

 

If you have anything that belongs to your ex-partner, it’s best if you can let it go. If you don’t, you’ll inevitably get stuck in the harmful memory loop.

Ask the person to pick up his things or just throw away any pictures or photos you have of him.

Sometimes, it’s also a good idea to delete all chats and messages. The content of your previous conversations might haunt you, or worse, give you hope that he might actually love you back someday.

 

 

4. Avoid repeating your ideas about love

 

There are some things about love you’re probably wishing to be true. In reality, however, these thoughts are just your own projections and expectations.

If you keep on thinking about your past relationship and partner and how things can still work out, you’re just placing yourself in a very difficult situation. You’ll become the creator of your own misery.

As much as possible, try to control and get rid of those self-defeating thoughts. Thinking of them can only give you false hopes.

 

5. Don’t find excuses to see them

 

Being in love with someone means that you’re probably hopeful they might return your feelings. That’s why you might think that it’s a good idea to see them and make them change their mind.

The truth is that you can only change your own mind. You have no control over the feelings of other people.

If you find yourself thinking about your ex, you should avoid the places where you know they hang out. You’ll never move on if you keep replaying “What if?” scenarios in your head.

 

6. Forget about ‘The One’

 

 

 

Finally, you should simply get rid of the myth that there is only one person who is perfect for you. The truth is that there are a lot of people you can still meet if you just go out of your circle.

Relationships can be tough, especially if your feelings get the best of you. Despite this, you need to keep in mind that learning to love also involves learning how to let go.

While you’re losing precious time chasing after someone who isn’t a good match for you, you’re probably missing out on an opportunity for a better relationship and partner.

 

 

 

Note: And humans are so vulnerable...

 

 

What To Do After A Break Up: A Handbook For Every Newly Single Guy

 

 

 

Although men are perceived as strong individuals, a breakup can still wreck you from the inside. It can turn your world upside down.

And if you are finding it hard to deal with one, read on as I have been through the same set of whirling emotions over the past few months.

Last year, in December, I had a fallout with my girlfriend. A three-year relationship went down, almost abruptly. The reason was quite simple.

The long-distance ‘thing’ was feeling like a stretch to her as she needed someone close by, both emotionally and physically. Although I used to come down to her part of the country once every three months, it still wasn’t enough for her.

 

 

 

I don’t blame her and I don’t judge her for leaving me suddenly. In a way, breaking up was way better than her cheating on me with somebody else. I had a steady job so couldn’t relocate. She lost interest and could no longer stay. It was that simple.

I am not exaggerating, but losing her felt like losing a family member. While three years might not sound like a lot, these were my formative years. The break up came with a myriad of lessons and they pushed me to think all over again.

I missed being answerable to someone. For months, there was a void which I couldn’t fill. I still remember that I slept hungry for a few days, hardly changed my clothes and even started growing a lot of facial hair. I lost interest. I lacked the zeal. I missed her unimaginably.

It has been more than three months and things do look different now. It would be wrong to mention that I don’t miss her anymore. I still do. However, I have made peace with her absence and, undoubtedly, it has made me a stronger person. The last few months were brutal and unkind but I was able to pull myself together again.

In my quest for emotional redemption, I came across a few life hacks which would be useful to a newly single guy. Here’s what to do after a break up:

 

Invest in Friendships

 

There are times when we neglect friendships when we are in an intense, romantic relationship. Regardless of your commitment level, only a friend can help you get over a breakup. Making new friends is also a great trait as it helps give some positive vibes after a draining break up.

A buddy can allow you to vent out your feelings and thoughts without being judgmental. He can listen for as long as you talk. He can give you the time and attention you need while you’re healing.

Keep in mind, however, that you also need to hear the other individual out. You need to invest time, emotions and feelings into a friendship to show that you also value the other person.

Make New Memories

Although she was located in a different state for her work, we hailed from the same hometown. While she had it easy in terms of existing memories, moving around the city was almost brutal for me. There wasn’t a place where we didn’t kiss, click photographs or had a lunch date at.

Therefore, after the breakup, it was literally impossible for me to step out of the house. I am sure many have had this gut-wrenching experience but changing cities or compromising on social life isn’t the answer. It took me a month before I could go out with someone to places that relate to my past relationship.

 

Take Time

 

 

Here is the most important bit that needs to be addressed. Even the strongest of men have a mushy heart that is entitled to moments of despair. It is completely normal to cry your heart out, watch movies, keep hearing sad songs on a loop, scream or stay in bed for days.

You should never try to bury the emotions while keeping a straight face. Trust me: these emotions keep on accumulating with time and they usually burst out at a really inconvenient time.

For me, it took two months to get over the agony of that heartbreaking fall-out.

Accept grief with open arms. You just lost a very significant person who was a lover, confidant, and friend to you. Lament over it for as long as it takes.

 

Indulge in a Hobby

 

Looking for a new hobby can help you fill up your spare time. Look for something constructive and allow yourself to enjoy and grow.

I love writing and started off with a blog. I joined a gym and started training rigorously for a bodybuilding competition.

As much as smoking and drinking may lure you, never fall into the trap. These things can numb the ache temporarily but they wouldn’t be beneficial in the long run. There are a lot of things you can do than to indulge in negative and destructive habits.

 

Give Yourself Occasional Pep Talks

 

There were times when I failed at work but my girlfriend would always be by my side to motivate and encourage me. Things have changed now since she’s no longer here to celebrate, push and motivate me.

A break up doesn’t have to mean you can’t celebrate and feel encouraged anymore. Be there for yourself. Give yourself the same encouragement and support you were getting from another person.

In essence, start believing and loving yourself. It might sound or look embarrassing at times but the pep talk you have with yourself has no alternative.

 

Believe in Personal Touches

 

I was a pretty detached guy, especially in terms of physical interactions. Barring my ex-girlfriend, I hardly ever hugged someone. However, since the breakup, I have turned into a pretty different individual— craving physical touches every now and then.

It is normal to ask for a hug and there is nothing strange about that. Research suggests that humans long for physical touches and prolonged periods of physical seclusion can lower down their confidence and affect their mood negatively. Therefore, if you feel the need to hug someone, get it done.

 

Sadly, a break up doesn’t come with a rulebook. However, it is important to lead a good life. It is important to be social and talk to individuals. If your heart is in the right place— finding love again won’t be hard.

One tip, though. Never try to cover one wound by welcoming another. It doesn’t matter if you are in or not in love with someone else. The idea here is to love yourself unconditionally. The breakup made me fall in love with my whole being and it’s something you should work on, too.

 

 

 

C H A P T E R _ Z E R O - Dash (Part 6)

So here is the problem... we create false alarm in our brains... we create wrong mindsets and we believe in lies.

 

 

...

People said that:

 

- It's not moral to talk in the bus

- It's not moral to shout in the crowd

- It's not awesome to be № 1 in the group

- the list goes on and on ... so does and life

 

...

We always:

 

- Excuse ourselfs of not doing stuff... we always promise that we are going to do plenty of stuff after few minutes

but the time passes and what it reveals it's that The Dark Knight is not ready for this night.

 

- We promise for later and later is never.

 

- We always have a reason of not doing it.

 

 

 

Excuses:

 

- When I Was young this guy ruined my life

- I can't do it... because I need to go

- I can't do it... because I am tired

- I can't do it... because it's not moral

- I can't do it... because it sounds insane

- I can't do it... because it's not my style

- I can't do it... because it's not a good idea

- I can't do it... because there are too much people

- I can't do it... because people hate me

 

....

Always there is a set of beliefs which are lies and believes which are set from others... and what in the end