How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #5) - DeYtH Banger (korean ebook reader txt) 📗

would try to keep the girls away so that they would catch the cooties themselves…



Well THAT’S exactly the same way I want you to start playfully teasing girls today.



And this is a lot easier than you think.



Here are a few of the ways you can start using today…



Playful Teasing Example #1: Accusing Her of Hitting On You/Trying To Get You Into Bed



Let’s pretend you’re at a coffee shop, sitting on your computer, and there is a girl sitting at the table next to you…



If you have to go to the bathroom, or temporarily leave your stuff for any period of time, lean over to the girl and ask her if she can watch over your stuff while you’re gone…



Most likely she’ll be happy to. Which is perfect because all you have to do is add in a little comment like:



“Awesome. And you better not roofie my drink while I’m gone. I know how you women work.”



Of course, you say this with a joking tone, and a sly smile.



While you’re gone, she won’t be able to stop thinking about you and your playful little comment.



And when you come back, she’s completely open to talking to you, and you’ll be starting off with a foundation of sexual tension and playfulness.



Or if a girl is telling you about a movie she liked, you can say:



“Ok fine, I’ll go to the movies with you. Just promise you won't try to take advantage of me in that dark movie theater.”



Have fun with this.



Playful Teasing Example #1: Typecasting Her



One of the easiest ways to playfully tease a girl is by making guesses about her personality based on facts about her.



For example, if she’s from Texas, you can say:



“You’re from Texas? Omg please tell me you’re not one of those girls who thinks you’re always right and that the world revolves around you…”



Or if you and her are at a bar and she orders vodka, you can say:



“Vodka? Question, how many frat parties a week did you go to when you were in college? Has Kesha always been your favorite pop artist? Are you one of those girls who starts yelling “WOO!” after a few shots?”



Just make sure you say these with a joking tone, and a sly smile on your face.



Playful Teasing Example #3: Teasing her when she messes up



If you’re on a date with a girl and she accidentally spills part of her drink, just say:



“Gosh, this is why we can’t have nice things!”



Or if she accidentally stutters, or loses her train of thought while talking say something like:



“It’s ok. Just be yourself. You don’t have to be nervous around me.”



So why do these techniques work so well?



Simple.



Because all of these ways spike a small emotional response out of women.



And any time you can playfully tease a girl, she'll no longer categorize you into the same group as those guys who are safe, predictable, and boring...



You’re now one of those intriguing, and exciting guys. The type of guy who she can imagine taking her on an wild and fun adventure.



A.K.A. the guy who girls just can’t get enough of!



And if playfully teasing doesn’t seem completely natural to you right now…



With a little bit of practice you’ll find your conversations that used to be “safe” boring are now charged with sexual tension.



Trust me. As a dating coach who has coached tens of 1000's of guys and been with.... A LOT of women.



I can confidently say that women LOVE when a guy can do this the right way…



Take action on this, and I'll see you at the top!



Chapter 12 - Bundle (Of Data)

Why Do Comedians Become Comedians?

 

 

 

Childhood experiences of comedians

 

 

 

 

 

There is a widely held belief that professional comedians and clowns are sad or depressed. Opinions vary on the reasons for this alleged glumness but many think that its roots have to do with an unhappy childhood or troubled relationships with parents. According to this view, comedians’ performances on stage serve as a coping mechanism, enabling them to escape from their daily troubles.

Early research showed that comedians are likely to come from a low socioeconomic stratum with approximately 80-85% of comedians coming from low socioeconomic homes. The harsh conditions at home may explain why comedians went on to pursue their career. One of the commentators on my previous post explains why this might happen. Basically, because the competition is so hard, and the chances of succeeding in this business are very low, high status individuals should better look for other, more likely to yield a good career, jobs first, while low status individuals have nothing to lose and hence can gamble on a career in comedy.

One study that have been conducted 30 years ago found that compared to a control group of professional actors and other entertainers, comedians were more preoccupied with themes of good and evil in their responses to interviews and projective tests. The authors of the study attributed this finding to the fact that the parents of future comedians placed much responsibility on their shoulders early in childhood, requiring them to take on an adult role at an early age. They had to take care not only of themselves, but also of their siblings, and many of them worked as teens to support their parents. These untimely demands and heavy expectations put pressure on the comedians while growing up and drove them to seek approval, hence trying to be as “good” as their parents wanted them to be. Falling short of parents’ expectations produced different responses from their parents. Fathers usually were disappointed that the comedians did not reach their high expectations; thus the comedians felt they were “bad” from their fathers’ perspective. Many of the comedians’ mothers expected them to fail, just waiting for this to happen. One of the main reasons why these comedians pursued a comic career was to prove that they are not bad, and they are doing “good.”

Compared to the actors, comedians typically described their fathers in much more positive terms, such as “good,” “nice,” and “respected.” On the other hand, they describe their mothers as being rule enforcers, disciplinarians, punishers, and aggressive critics. Many comedians acknowledged that they were spanked, hit, and punished when they violated their mothers’ rules.

In contrast, other study found that male comedians overwhelmingly reported being closer to their mothers, indicating that mothers played a more active role in their lives than did their fathers. Mothers were seen as more accepting figures than fathers, spending more time with them, encouraging them to pursue a comic career, and better understanding their need to become a comedian. Fathers were often absent during their childhood, or generally uninterested in their career and even discouraging them from pursuing it. Fathers also failed in many cases to support their families, forcing the mothers to go to work. The fathers were also resentful of the close bond between the mothers and the aspiring comedians.

But wait, a subsequent study with female comedians found an opposite trend. Female comedians felt closer to their fathers, and several of them reported being raised without a mother, who died at an early age. Fathers were role models for the comediennes, and they grew up admiring them. Similar to the male comedians, fathers were generally described as poor providers, and the comediennes felt they needed to support and encourage them. Their mothers were described as unsuccessful, struggling, and unhappy, and most of them lived the traditional role of a housewife. Relationships with their siblings were good, overall, and interestingly, 55% of comediennes were the youngest child in the family.

 

These early studies found that comedians reported having good relationships with peers and siblings, though they often felt misunderstood, being picked on and disparaged. Comedians’ childhood experiences were marked by isolation, suffering, and deprivation feelings. In this view, being funny serves as a defense mechanism against panic and anxiety. Only when on stage could comedians enjoy a short period of relief from their fears. The conclusion of some researchers is that comedians are sad, depressed, suspicious, and angry.

All these experiences with their parents, suggest that comedians become what they are in an effort to seek control, get approval from friends and family, and prove that they are good and worthy. Comedians’ performance on stage, in this view, comes as a defense or compensation mechanism for their melancholy lives, whereby they attempt to channel feelings of anger and anxiety into their comedy act and seek the love of the audiences. Using humor as a coping mechanism is not unique to professional comedians; humor has long been viewed as a healthy defense mechanism or coping strategy for adults as well as children.

 

But previous studies were largely based on projective tests and took a psychoanalytical approach that is now dated. Moreover, the comedy scene has changed dramatically since the time of these studies, and comedians today may be quite different from the ones studied in the past. Today there are many more professional comedians and aspiring comics, and many more comedy clubs that host several performances each week. Thus, a career in comedy may be less unusual and peripheral than it once was.

To better understand what is going on, I used more modern tools to assess comedians’ relationships with their parents. Specifically, I wanted to try answer two questions: 1) Do professional comedians have unique relationships with parents compared to others? 2) What were their experiences in school and the nature of the relationships they had with peers? The results could shed light on what factors influence the pursuit of comedy as a career choice.

 

I gave them two questionnaires. One is called Parental Bonding Instrument (PBI), and measures parental styles as perceived by the participant in retrospect. Twelve items measure the parent’s “care” (e.g. “Was affectionate to me”), and 13 measure “overprotection” (e.g. “Tried to control everything I did”). The comedians completed one such questionnaire about their fathers, and one about their mothers. The second measure I used was relationship with peers. Comedians had to answer questions about friends in school, and about how much they used or engaged in humor related activities back then.

Here are the main findings:

Overall, there were no differences in the way comedians describe how their parents treated them, compared to the students’ sample. This means that there is no support to the claim that parents were overprotecting comedians or didn’t give them enough care.

 

Source:

 

 

Major differences emerged in respect to the way comedians report having used humor with their peers during adolescence. Comedians scored significantly higher on each of the questions that pertain to humor activities with peers. Comedians reported making fun of themselves more than the students, they were more likely being the class clown, they were also more likely to be the butt of jokes and make fun of other people, compared to students. Comedians did rate themselves as popular as other students, and also reported having similar number of friends as students during the school years.

The results suggest that the interactions of comedians-to-be with people within the same age group are important to their development as comedians. This is consistent with the fact that humor is a social phenomenon. There is abundant evidence showing that people engage in humor and laugh more frequently when they are with other people than alone, and that humor plays an important role in peer bonding and attracting mates. Making fun of others and being the class clown allow individuals to connect with others. Granted, not all class clowns