Her Love Fades... - Kerry Boo.. (books to read in a lifetime TXT) 📗

Promise.”

He held out his pinky and I moved mine towards him and pinky promised. He pulled me up and wrapped his arms around me. “I am so sorry for calling you a slut Andi… I just snapped.”

“You don’t know how much that hurt.”

He pulled back and looked at my face. “Andi..How long have you been crying?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know, all day… every day… My whole life?” my took his fingers and wiped away my tears. But more appeared.

“So… You seen Stephanie, Didn’t you?”

I nodded my head remembering what had sent me in my breakdown. “Yes… New girlfriend?”

He shook his head in shame…”not exactly…. She was my new…” he took a deep breath. “My new slut. If I don’t have you, then all I want is a slut and she was there.”

I closed my eyes for a long time and the tears came pouring down again. “Luke what happened to you?? You never would have referred to someone like that… you’ve changed.” I started backing away.

“DO you want the truth Andi?”

I nodded my head… “Ok...”

“This is the old me. This is the kind of boy I was before you. I’d date whatever girl walked up to me and asked me out, then I would cheat on her with another girl and we’d breakup. I’d get with the other girl…then do it all over again…”

I bit my lip trying to hold back the tears. “Wow you have a nice boy act…. And I guess that’s what I fell for.” I turned away from him and started bawling again…. Is that all I was to him, another girl to cheat on? Dump and then move on… just another girl to be added to the list?

“Wait Andi.. When I was with you, everything I said was 100% true, every I love you I meant, and the I am sorry… I really am sorry… Sorry you fell for me because you deserve so much better and now you really know that. Because I’m just a dumb ass. And when I lost you, I just went back to being the old me because it was so much easier to not care about any other person and just use them as I want.”

“That’s sick Luke….I miss the old you… That’s the one I fell in love with and that’s the one that I want to know.”

He walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “For you Andi, I’ll always be the guy you want; the loving, sweet, caring, sensitive, amazing, nice, truthful… the one you fell in love with.”

I was so pissed at him, and then he wrapped his arms around my waist and the butterflies came back. “Butterflies..” I muttered quiet enough that he couldn’t hear.

He put his head on my shoulder. “What was that baby girl?” he looked at me, as I stared straight ahead.

“Butterflies.” I turned my head towards him as he kissed my lips.

“OH, you feel them to?”

We laid in the grass together… If only we could of laid like that forever.

Luke.

Well. I feel like an utter ass. Nothing will change that. I’ve been calling Andi a slut and I shoulda just talked to her. I was laying in the grass with Stephanie, and well I guess Andi saw us. I seen Andi sitting in front of my house…Rather she was really like crying in a ball, so I went to find out why the fuck she was here. But what did that change? Nothing…. I said I would be the boy for andi… the New me, the one that she changed… I didn’t say it about anyone else… Meaning, Stephanie, was still my little slut.

I arrived at Andi’s house in the morning for school like I always have, and I guess that’s not going to change? I knocked on the door. “Hey Andi… Ready to go?”

She nodded her head. “Mhm.”

I grabbed her hand and she looked down in shock.

I gave her a small smile and pulled her behind me.”How’d you sleep baby girl?”

She shrugged her shoulders.”Ok, I guess…”she was basically silent the entire way there. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but I didn’t even know if she would tell me, seeming as though it probably has something to do with me being a complete and utter ass hole, and he mistakenly falling in love.

I stopped walking, turned towards her and took a deep breath. She stared at me, like Yo what are you doing? I bit on my tongue and looked all around us to distract myself. When I just couldn’t take it anymore I backed away from her and stared at the ground. “Look Andi.. I know, I make mistakes and I know you are probably getting tired of hearing me apologize all the time about it, and then not doing anything to back up my apology accept for going off and kissing some girl… Buuuuut…… I think it would be best if we would just move on…”

I watched as a tear rolled down her face and her expression turned from a smile to expressionless. “You don’t think I have been trying to do that the hole time Luke? Because trust me, since the day we broke up I have been trying to get over you, but every time I even remotely start to get somewhere you go and apologize for being such an ass hole, then you kiss me and then you go make out with some girl. You know what… whatever… I just don’t care anymore.”

She tried to start walking ahead of me but I stood in front of her blocking her pathway. She was not leaving until we had talked about this.

“Really Andi?” You’ve been trying that long?

She rolled her eyes. “Ya.”

“I’m sorry. And I know you’re probably tired of hearing that.”

She rolled her eyes. “You know what Luke… What do you want? Do you want to move on? Never talk to each other again, please… tell me now.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t want that Andi...”

She got real close me and whispered “You, don’t know what you want.”

I shook my head. “Andi, I know exactly what I want and that, is you.”

She backed away and started crying and screaming. “The only thing keeping me from you is you!”

I shook my head again. “How do you suppose?”

“What do you mean ‘How do I suppose?”

“Never mind.”

“Whatever Luke. But here’s something you should know… I’m fucking done.”

“Andi…Please…don’t” I don’t know what I was thinking but I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind like she loves. “Please don’t ever let go… I need you more than anyone…”

She kissed my cheek and walked away without saying a word more.

I felt the tear escape from my eyes as I cried… I cried…and cried… I was so weak for Andi.. I wanted to be her hero..but all I was was the fuck up who was making her life more worse than she ever thought possible… I was sick.. not mentally… but I have a deadly disease… I needed to push her farther away from me, they don’t think I’m going to make it… and I don’t want her to be holding on to tightly… I couldn’t help it. I cried more than I thought I ever could.

Andi.

I walked on back towards the tracks. I just needed to escape him right now because he didn’t understand anything that was going on. He didn’t get it. He needs to grow up, and I know and he knows it…he just wasn’t ready. Ready for anything. Wasn’t ready to stop cheating or lying…I started crying… he’s the most immature 17 year old I know… cheating, lying, stealing… sleeping around..same as cheating… he was just as confused as I was… but the only difference… I truly did love him… But he wasn’t ready to be a father… I grasped my stomach and fell to my knee’s bawling.

After awhile I was so weak that I was having trouble breathing… I cried so much that I felt like I could die at any moment in time… I would be ok with that… I wasn’t ready to be a mother… I’m 16…I’m so fucking stupid! How could I screw him…? I wasn’t thinking of how easy it would be to be a mother…I can’t do it… I just can’t. am I supposed to tell him? No doubt he would freak… Hell I am freaking!

I ran home with tears pouring down my face. I fell to my living room floor and just laid there until I was interrupted by a knock on the door. I stood up and wiped away the tears before getting up to get the door.

“Hey andi. I just wanted to check up on you and see how you are, after your last suicide attempt.”

“Oh Hey Lukas, Wait how do you know where I live?”

“Look, in the future I have to tell you something and then everything will all make sense… in a way, but uhh… Look everything will be ok.” He whispered hugging me.i hugged him back and nodded my head. I felt weak. Before I could stop the tear it rolled down my face and landed on his shirt.

I pulled away and murmured apologetically over and over.

He pulled me over to the couch and rested my head on his lap. “It’s ok Andi...” He sounded so sure that it was impossible not to believe him.

I nodded my head and snuggled against his chest closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

I woke up screaming and the next thing I know they’re were arms wrapped around me. “Shhhhh” they whispered. I was calmed by Lukas’s voices every time. He knew how to comfort someone and make them feel better… his eyes were so true, he was amazing at making me feel safe again… But so was Luke.

Next thing I know they’re was another knock at my door. I sat up and sauntered towards the door. Lukas remained sitting on the couch. I threw the door open. “Luke…”
“hi. Can I come in?” I glanced back at Lukas but moved aside so he could fit inside. “Who’s he?”

he asked with pure jealousy raising in his voice.”

I rolled my eyes. “This is the second person who’s had to save my life. “Luke Wilson, Meet Lukas.”

He shook his head. “Seriously, his name is Lukas?

I nodded my head. “Yup... That’d be correct.” I walked over to Lukas and sat on his lap laughing

“wow.”

He knew what he was thinking. He wanted to know what he was doing on my couch. I was just waiting for him to ask. He stared across the room and I knew he was about to ask… “So…UH are you
too like together?”

Lukas laughed but made a disgusted face. “No, Andi is sexi as fuck but I’m gay.”

I smirked and watched as the jealousy was drained from Luke’s face. “ohh.” He said in a cheerful tone. I just nodded my head and turned towards Lukas.

“SO, this would be the Luke I told you about that day.”

He leaned closer to me. “Look, I’m not really gay but if I was….. damn.” I glanced over at him and couldn’t stop laughing. He motioned me down towards him, so I