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better-
-Andi, The truth.-
-I am living in hell, and Iā€™m tired of breathing.-
-Iā€™m sorry Andi! - Thatā€™s all I ever say to this beautiful girl.
-K. is there something you wanted Lucas?-
-Yes-
-What would that be?-
I take a deep breath before I speak ā€“Us.-
-Well you made it official, theyā€™re will never be an us again.-
-Andi when I said that earlier I was thinking of what was best for you, not me but you.
-Luke I donā€™t get it. - I could hear the tears in Andiā€™s voice; I sat there imagining the tears pouring down her face.
-What babe? And please Andi, Donā€™t cry.-
-Do you love me or not? - I hear her sniffling.
The fact that she had to ask that made me wanta cry ā€“Andi you know I do.-
-Luke, Iā€™ve begun to doubt that. - And there was where she ripped my heart outā€¦ I guess I had that coming; I have been acting like such a jack ass to this amazing girl.
-YOU DOUBT THAT I LOVE YOU ANDI!?- I screamed that to stop from crying.
-Yes. - I could hear Andiā€™s voice cracking, and I knew again it was my fault.
-Andi I am always going to love you, and I want you backā€¦But I want what is best for you.-
-You should have known the answer.-
-I still donā€™t know the answer.-
-I do.-
-You think you do.-
-Luke If you want to talk, can we at least change the subject? - I could tell my last comment had hurt her further.
-Sure Andi.-
-Thanks.-
-your welcome
-How are you?-
-Im ok, but I want to apologize for earlier.-
-Luke youā€™re forgiven like always.-
-You shouldnā€™t always have to forgive me.-
-oh well, I donā€™t care.-
-you should. How was your day?-
-like I said, hellā€¦ first Becca tells me you guys are dating again, I had to hide the tears, tell her I was happy and hope you two can make it. Then you tell me you never want to date me againā€¦ I run into the woods to cry my heart out. Alec finds me there; he asks me whatā€™s wrongā€¦ I tell him everythingā€¦ He wipes away my tears and kisses me.-
-ALEC KISSED YOU!?- I know I donā€™t have any right to be pissed but the fury just kept rising in me.
-Yes. - She didnā€™t get any satisfaction to my jealousy.
-what did you do Andi!?- I balled my fist up I was so fucking pissed, I wanted to cry.
-I ran away.-

Andi<3


I was on the phone with Luke, and I started to remember what happened after I had left Luke at the schoolā€¦ But what about after Alec? What happened after I left him?

Luke had fallen silent for sometime, while I waited for him to speak I tried to remember what happenedā€¦ all I knew was something was wrong. Luke finally managed to speak again.

-Um Andi can I please kill that son of a gun?-

I donā€™t know if he had noticed that I had fallen silent, or if he could detect that something was wrong

-Andi is something wrong? I mean did I upset you?-
-No Luke, you havenā€™t done anything wrongā€¦ But something doesnā€™t feel right.-
-Baby girl, what are you talking about?-
-After I left Alec I have no memory of what happened, all I know is I woke up in the woods and I was really sore and I had leaves in my hair and dirt all over me, so I came home and took a shower.-
-you woke up in the woods Andi!? Um do you want me to come over? Then we can talkā€¦-
-Uhā€¦-
-no, your rightā€¦ stupid question, Go to sleep Andiā€¦Maybe you will remember later. And what Becca said was a big ass lieā€¦-
-Okā€¦Boo.-
-nightā€¦ Love you Andi.-
-Love you too Lucas. - I said that with hesitation.
-Do you mean it? - A part of me knew he would ask
-Yes Luke, I do.-
-Ok- I could hear the smile in his voice.
-bye. - I hang up the phone, and move to my bed, I get under the coversā€¦ All I want to do is sleep.

Is this a dream, or is it reality? The leaves of the treeā€™s rustle in the wind. I can even hear the wind whispering telling me that I need to go, I need to run. Go before it is to lateā€¦ But Iā€™m held in place, I try to move and I try to scream for helpā€¦ But it is too late. I can already tell. The clouds get closer and closer, and darker and darker. I hear footsteps slowly coming closerā€¦ they are heavy footsteps; I can hear the danger in theyā€™re walk. I know that there are bad intentions. I look at the edge of the hill, when someone steps up; theyā€™re wearing boots and a hoodieā€¦ I canā€™t make out what theyā€™re face looks like. He looks at me, at least I assume he does, he was staring straight aheadā€¦ Could he see me? He walks right past me; itā€™s at that moment when I take a deep breath prepared to run. He instantly stops and turns back to me. Fuck now I was caught. He walks over to me and bends down. He asks me what my name was and I tell him Andiā€¦ he takes his hand and he brushes it against my face. I shudder at his touch, its cold and evil. I scot backwards, but there was a tree there. I was fucked unless I tried to crawl away quickly. Even at his age he looked like he could keep up with me. I sat there taking deep breaths when he brought his fist up and punched me in the head. He grabbed my arms and he shook me. Then everything went black.

I jolted up screaming, my throat hurt and my hair was soaked to my face, damn tears. I checked my phone to see what time it was, holy shit. Only 3:30. Luke would probably be asleep but I needed someone to talk to. Would he care if I called and woke him upā€¦ Or would he be pissed? I decided to take that chance and I dialed his number for the second time today.

Luke<3


I was woken up 3:30 in the morning. I wish I could be pissed, but everyone I have talked to lately is getting used to me being awake at this time. Itā€™s the damn situation with Andiā€¦ Knowing she has a broken heartā€¦ makes it nearly impossible to sleep.

I grab for my phone off my night stand, and I knocked my alarm clock off. Fuck it I think and finally find my phone.

-Hello?-
-heyā€¦ Did I wake you? - When I heard Andiā€™s voice I felt a certain amount of joy that was until I could hear her sniffling in the backgroundā€¦ Will she ever be able to talk to me without crying?
-Ya I was sleeping, but I would rather talk to you.-
-Are you sure Lucas?-
-Absolutely Andi-
-well ok, I called because I had this dream, and I just needed someone to talk to about itā€¦ And even though youā€™re my ex you were the first person I thought of. - It hurt remembering that Andi was no longer my girl. She was just THE girl, which Iā€™m sure Iā€™ll be in love with till the day I die.
-Andi, you know Iā€™m here for you. I donā€™t care what time it isā€¦Or if you hate me, Iā€™m here for you.-
-Thank you booā€¦ and um ditto.-
She called me boo. I couldnā€™t help but smile. ā€“What was your dream about baby girl?-
-Actuallyā€¦If you donā€™t mind, Can you come over?-
-Iā€™ll be right there.-

I hang up the phone; did Andi just invite me over to her house? I thought she wanted nothing to do with me, But she doesā€¦ Yes this is all too confusing. I walk over to my dresser and I slip on some black skinny jeans and my converse. Andi loves my Asking Alexandria shirtā€¦ Iā€™ll wear itā€¦ ā€œBut sheā€™ll probably try and run off with itā€ I say to myself, laughing at the thought of Andi running away with my shirt. I grab my keys and lock the house, and then I start walking towards Andiā€™s house. Itā€™s kind of cold... As soon as I stepped out I wish I had grabbed a hoodie.

I get to Andiā€™s doorstep and I knock. She comes to the door a second later and she looks amazing. Her hair is curly when itā€™s normally straight. Sheā€™s wearing her long black skinny jeans and her converse that go to her knee. I can see her studded belt hidden under her hello kitty shirt and her face was the most beautiful face I had ever seen.

ā€œLukasā€ she says smiling, she was happy to see me.
ā€œHey Andi, you look amazingā€ I smiled when I seen her smile at me, so far so good. She moved aside to let me through.
ā€œCome on in, oh and that shirt will be mine.ā€ I walked in there and just stood in the living room, it was kind of awkward and I didnā€™t know what she had planned to do. She laughs like she can sense the awkwardness and points me in the direction of her bedroom.
ā€œWe can sit on my bed and watch a movieā€
ā€œOh sounds good, what movie?ā€
ā€œSaw? I guess. Does that work for you?ā€
ā€œYeah Andi thatā€™s perfect.-

It was about 4:20 in the morning and here I was sitting on my exā€™s bedā€¦ I have school at 7:00 which means Iā€™ll have to leave as soon as the movie is over if I want to make it home.

Andi puts the movie in and jumps on her bed beside me. I could tell she was tired and just wanted to sleep. That made me wonder what her dream was about but I didnā€™t ask, I would wait until later.

When we were in the middle of the movie, we layed down and covered up with her blanket. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her, and then we eventually fell asleep together.

At 6:30 I hear:

It's cold so
I cover myself with this blanket
but the weathers the same
and I hate this
I'm warm for this moment alone

And I don't see anyway
that I could mean
anything to you

Save me
tell me the ways that you changed
things
Make me believe that I'm okay
tell me I'm different from you

I don't see anyway
that I could mean
anything to you

Tell me
my tactic to
brush away feelings
The truth and the way that I'm living
will leave me to
blame and alone


I still don't see anyway
that I could mean
anything to you

I open my eyes and I have no idea where I was for a moment, and then I remembered that me and Andi watched a movie and we must have fallen asleep. I was so tired and I didnā€™t want to let go of her, I was to confterable. I move my arms and sit upā€¦ I can see Andi is awake. She sits up.

ā€œLukasā€¦ā€
ā€œYa?ā€ I thought by her tone that she had implied that yesterday was a mistakeā€¦ even though all we did was watch saw.
She leaned over and kissed me and then she whisperedā€¦ā€I love you.ā€
ā€œI love you tooā€ I kiss her back laying her down, there was no way around it that I was in love with this girl, and
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