Straight Talk, No Pretense - Abasiodiong Ekarika (love novels in english .txt) 📗

words that proceed out of your mouth. Be able to encourage when him/her becomes a victim of fraud, don’t taunt him/her but learn more so that you could be in a better place to advice. There are days when there will be no food to eat and you’ll return from work with no income, there will be times when the children’s school fee will not be paid or a child will become terribly ill and all hope will be lost, call on God and he will answer you.

Your partner may become disabled and you’ll be left to support the family alone. You must be able to champion the cause of your family and provide for your household effectively. Remember, your partner was not always disabled life just happened so instead of crying and wailing arise to the task and execute your responsibility lovingly with the support of others.

In your marriage make efforts to rekindle love. Don’t stop doing that which attracted your partner to you. If it is your song then sing always and bring in the children to render their voice, if it is your compassion, don’t stop showing kindness. If you always surprised your partner with gifts before you married him/her continue in such an act although it will never be the same way it was in the past upgrade your technique. You don’t need to organize a big gathering, it can just be you, your partner and your children or you and your partner exclusively.

Do things together, remind yourselves of the promises of God, laugh together, play with the children, cook together, try new cuisines together, go shopping together, and dance together. Just have that couple time without distractions and thoughts that the baby could be crying or your child could still be awake because he/she doesn’t want to sleep without being hugged.

Be intentional to know your partner, get engaged in whatever he/she is doing. If he/she wants to further his/her education encourage him/her apply, help him/her prepare for interviews and revise with them. Being married is not an excuse not to know your partner better. Know the color of brush he/she likes to use, know the type of dress he/she loves putting on, and notice the manner with which he/she combs or brushes the hair.

Appreciate your partner always. If he/she changed the nappy, tell him/her thank you. If he/she helped with the dishes and house chores say thank you, if he/she came back earlier from work to celebrate the wedding anniversary notice it, if he/she helped you to prepare for work say thank you.

Talk with your partner, don’t become distant. Tell him/her about the things you observed at home or at work. Discuss on your growth and how much the both of you have become better. Take time to ask your partner how his/her day went whether or not he/she is working remotely or abroad.

Be able to manage job loss and financial loss. Life happens. If your partner loses his/her job, be supportive and encourage him/her to take up a new one. You can recommend jobs for him/her and even refer him/her to your connections and the economic sector best players.

Share responsibilities and strive to grow beyond where you are currently. Help at home with the responsibilities and duties, support your partner to grow. Enjoy your marriage, know what works in your marriage, play by your rules and avoid side talks.

Chapter 19: Seeking Counselling

 Counselling the provision of professional assistance and guidance in resolving personal or psychological problems. Counsellors have the same quality but they don’t guide on the same issues. They are well trained and are not self-serving. A counsellor has passed through what you are facing and is thick skin.

Counsellors are persons whose purpose in life is to help you succeed in your relationship and your marriage. A counsellor is a person who has been recognized by law to handle specific issues as it relates to you. A person who has passed through what you are going through coming out victorious can be a counsellor. A counsellor is someone you can learn from, he/she does not lie to you. Your pastor is not a counsellor, he/she is your pastor. Your teacher is not a counsellor, he/she is a teacher. A market woman is not a counsellor, he/she is a business woman.

An excellent relationship is not wished for it is worked for. An excellent relationship is not one you find two egoistic individuals who wish to speak first and say the last words. It is one where both partners build up each other and get redirected instead of rejected.

In your relationship you will face challenges, you will disagree, you will feel like backing out, you will be challenged but stay strong and seek help when need be. Don’t hold back believing that you can do it alone seek a relationship counsellor who can open up to without withholding? Seek counselling from someone you can obey and submit. Be sincere to yourself and submit to learning. There are persons God has raised to enforce his kingdom in relationships and marriages don’t refuse learning from them, listen to their messages, read their books, attend seminars hosted by them and identity yourself with them.

Your counsellor is not to be your father or your mother, your parents are still yours whether or not they excelled in their marriage or failed in their marriage. Maintain set boundaries between you and your counsellor and don’t hesitate to attend counselling sessions with your partner. Your counsellor should be able to speak with wisdom and from experience. Your counsellor should be filled with the Holy Spirit. He/she must not be carnal. A counsellor with no sense of respect will want you to walk out from a promising relationship, he/she is self-serving and does not mind seducing you.

Don’t be lost in this journey, many may make you feel like you are wasting your time, you are not enjoying life, relax and hold onto the word of God and his promise that those who put their trust in him can never be put to shame.

Give your relationship time to grow, give it a chance. The man who is not calling you twenty four hours a day is working to be a better husband. He will not have all the time in the world to write you poems, send love notes or appreciate you because he is working on himself. On the other hand, a woman who is not calling you at the darkest hour is praying for the future. Don’t depreciate such worthy acts. Appreciate the things your partner is doing which are not evident to the physical eyes to see and keep praying to God to sustain him/her.

Love and love never stop loving. Make it a personal decision to appreciate who you’ve been blessed with. If this decision is not made you will attend the best counselling session but never get the answers you need and even connect with the best counsellor but still be lost. The fact that your partner is financially unstable today does not mean he will remain that way in the next five years if he is improving himself. If your partner is sick stand by him/her and support him/her emotionally, he/she will not be sick forever. If your partner is disabled in the body don’t reject him/her because he is not whole, appreciate him/her for the person you see.

Your challenge every day in your relationship is not to say “I love you “first or more in a day, week or year. Your challenge is to fulfill the purpose of your relationship and make it more worthy. The issues you believe to be having will never become solved except you view things from a different perspective. No one has it better stop the comparison and appreciate what you’ve been blessed with. Many seek a relationship where Christ is the center but continually dine with the devil not even his agent, many seek a virtuous woman but only date a manipulative being in the form of a woman.

If you are happy in your relationship aim forward don’t spite others who have not gotten it right. Pray for them, many persons have lost their life, their property, their reputation, their worth, their value, their self-respect, their sanity, their joy, their passion, their zeal because of this part of life called relationship. Others have lost hope of being with a good person who can appreciate them for who they are instead of their physical characteristics.

Never lose faith, never lose courage, never lose hope but pass through the storm and come out strong knowing you are prepared for whatever you’ll face in your marriage. Your experience will make you stronger so much that you will consider the malicious remarks of your in-laws, colleagues, friends and strangers as insignificant. You may not realize now how strong you are but you are strong, you compose yourself and do not need to breakdown when overwhelmed, you can bear a burden, you are happy with yourself, you don’t pretend, you care about others and know they care about you too, you hold on even when all hope is lost, you choose to have a positive perspective, you choose to smile even when you are broken.

Chapter 20: Frequently asked Questions and Answers

 My partner is cheating on me what should I do? Move on

Should I forgive a cheating partner? Yes, if he is remorseful and promises to change but if he repeats it again leave the relationship.

What can you say about hurt? Never hurt people who love you a lot because they won't hurt you back. Hurting them will only push them away from you and they'll probably have no choice but to leave you forever.

How do I show affection to my partner? Call them out publicly or privately and tell them how you feel about them, organize a surprise birthday party, flaunt your partner.

What should I do, I’m desperately single? Set goals and actualize them, love and be loved, live life in the best way. Don’t forget your love will find you.

What are some basic things I should know before getting into a relationship? Money isn’t everything, don’t let someone see you finish, sex before marriage does not mean you’ll get married to the man, have a good character, be clean, be skilled, make your own money, set your priorities right, do away with jealousy, be wise, be humble, be prayerful.

I’m hoping to marry the man I’m dating what should I know? You’ve taken a wise step but