Where you belong - Samantha Thomas (i have read the book a hundred times .txt) 📗

air around me, like a disgusting animal sniffing for its prey, and moved slightly closer towards me if it were even possible. My mind was in shock at first, then as the chill crept its way up my back, running my blood cold, I stepped back trying to get away from him, but that only brought me into the bathroom. From there, there wasn’t a way out, but there was a pull cord, for emergency’s.

“What’s wrong?” the security guard said in a mock scared way, inching closer to me by the minute. As I continues backing into the bathroom my heart pounding in my chest, I began thinking just what exactly he planned on doing to me. Was he going to hurt me? Beat me up, or assault me in other ways? Was anyone going to even care if he did? Or believe me for that matter?

“What are you doing?” I asked my voice quivering ever so slightly. He stopped coming towards me but I still took another step away for good measure.

He opened his mouth as if about to speak, but then said nothing and instead he let out a pleasured moan with a sinister half smile as he came closer to me hand slowly reaching to me.

“-Yo, Kevin where the hell are you? I just walked by your post, and you were not there. Paula’s chewing me a new asshole man, I thought you were going to help me out?-” suddenly came over on the security guard’s walkie-talkie stopping him dead in his tracks. He ground his teeth together, clenched him fists slightly and turned to the side grabbing his walkie, and spoke into it,. “I’ll be right there was just taking a bathroom break man, don’t worry I still got you alright?”

“Alright man, thanks. I’ll see you in a minute, Maureen’s back. Damn this lady sucks!” and then ‘Kevin’ the evil rent-a-cop walked out like nothing had happened, and not another look back at completely shocked me. “Whoa…” I exhaled my hands were shaking like crazy, and I felt so light headed suddenly. A hard chill ripped its way up my back jerking me forward. I stood there for a few minutes more just staring ahead of me at the space were he recently stood, before I even thought about moving. All I kept thinking about was what almost, could’ve, happened. Holy shit. What did he plan on doing? -I cant really say, but what I did know was it was nothing good, or in my best interest.

I went to the bathroom and went back to my bed, picked up the worn copy of Go ask Alice, and finished reading that book. I was even more upset if possible, that book was hard core and I’m not really sure how I feel about it all. I picked up my remote and flipped on the TV, and settled on ‘19 kids and counting,’ that show is crazy. How could they deal with that many kids? This world is too much for me I tell you, and watching the show I thought what would I have been like if I had been born a Duggar, and then thought promptly did I really want to be shut off from the world that much? Hell no. shaking my head clearing those weird thoughts off I drifted into an odd sleep. I’m not sure what I dreamt of but I do know that I did. I know at one point I was whimpering, or crying but it wasn’t strong enough to completely jolt me awake. Huh.

“Britney,” someone called to me, shaking me awake. I opened my eyes and found the last person I expected to be here sitting on my bed jolting me awake.

“Holy shit! Ashley!-” rushed out of my mouth as my eyes recognized the face in front of me. She smiled and leaned into a hug with me. “-Oh my god! What are you doing here?” I asked slightly out of breath, wondering why she was here, but so glad that she was. I was so glad that I was so completely surprised and shocked at my reaction to her being here. I was always thrilled at her presence, when she was being my friend at the moment, and just now, was the happiest I’d ever been seeing her.


Where you belong Chapter 6.


Looking at her just now, seemed like it had been years since the last time I saw her. She was a little different, her hair had gotten longer, and she lost the bimbo blonde of it, and settled for a honey beach babe blonde look and she looked fantastic. “You look so good! I really love your hair!.” I said to her as we broke off from our embrace. “Thanks. Yeah a lot has changed with me. So how are you?” she said and I swear I could actually see a look of real concern swim in her blue eyes down on me.

I kind of did this gulp/choke action/sound at her question. I wasn’t really sure I had an actual answer for her, could I really sum up my entire shitty impossible ordeal-life to her in a word or two? I don’t even know for how long I’ve endured all of this, I don’t even know what day it is. “Well?…” she prodded and I was forced to look at her like a child who has to tell their parents the really bad thing they’ve done, and completely defenseless, I felt the hot burning tears sting my eyes and spill over when they were unable to contain themselves any longer in my sad pitiful eyes. I opened my mouth trying to speak and after it failed me I tried once again, “N-not good Ashley. Not good.” my voice quivered and broke, and I really didn’t want too, but I was left with absolutely no choice…

…I broke down completely in front of my sometimes-mostly never-only friend Ashley.

At first she looked on helplessly and quite uncomfortably on at me, but then something changed inside her eyes and it slowly yet effectively crept down her face and she leaned into me arms extended. That made it worse, I cried much harder, baffled at her kindness, never really had experienced it but it was much more than welcomed, it was absolutely treasured.

A long while later, her hugging me and patting my hair down and fetching tissues for the tsunami’s of snots that poured out of me, I finally spoke.

“It’s really bad, and I don’t know what to do. I am in so way over my head it left me breathless and completely defenseless. I really don’t know what to do. I don’t have anyone, and please don’t be mad, but I honestly never thought you’d be here sitting next to me holding me and handing me tissues, like ever in my life. Like EVER.” I was a little apprehensive to say that to her, but after all that’s happened a lot has changed inside me, and new parts and pieces of me have been emerging and surfacing, and this me telling her the honest truth, was so new and totally needed to be done. I knew it in my gut.

I reluctantly looked on at her expecting her to get pissed, collect an attitude and huff out, hop off my bed and stomp out with a very loud and crude ’Fuck you bitch!’ but….
It never did come.

Suddenly her face fell a little and her head turned towards the bed, almost in a shame filled way. Whoa… what was going on?

Still she hadn’t said anything and I asked her “So how did you know I was here?” I said it to both relieve the awkwardness that had steamed the air around us and to also actually and genuinely find out the answer. I really wanted to know why, not that I wasn’t absolutely grateful. Just completely curious.

Her head came up and even though the completeness of the look she had just held in her face, was greatly softened it hadn’t dissipated, not even close. “Well shit, I could go ya know.” she said it but it wasn’t like the normal Ashley-I -could-give-two-fucks-about-you-and-I’ll-prove-it-skank attitude, it was almost disappointing really. There was absolutely no gusto in it at all. There really was something here, something just wasn’t right, maybe Ashley had really changed…

“No, I didn’t mean it like that I just…you know.” I finished with a shoulder shrug, and she nodded in understandment and again we found ourselves looking silently and strongly at each other. “Yeah ok, I know. It was actually Mrs. Welch, you know the guidance counselor?” she ended it in a question because of the look the stole my face I’m sure, but I knew most definitely who Mrs. Welch was, she helped me so much…and it was all for nothing really. I took a really hard deep breath because I feared that if I lost it again, I would truly stay gone this time, and I really didn’t want the drugs again. It took every ounce of strength I had to muster and harbor it so I wouldn’t go off the deep, deep end.

Hell was a horrible place.

“I know go on,” I said softly and she nodded and continued. “Well she came looking for me one day but I had to go straight home after school and couldn’t stay to talk. So the next day as soon as I came to school I told my homeroom I really needed to speak to the guidance consoler, and so I stood at her office until she showed up that morning. I had been dying to come ask about you anyways, you haven’t been around at school and well, ya know.” she gestured around with her hands signifying her appearance here. I nodded, and I thought she had been done but she cautiously continued on, “Um, actually she’s here with me, I couldn’t exactly come here on my own. Still in super heavy deep shit. She’s like waiting downstairs or in the waiting room.”

Oh. Wow. “Oh, well that was like really nice of her…” my eyes crinkled and she didn’t really look so good all of a sudden-no now that I think about it, the entire time of her being here she looked…off, odd, different and I mistook it for her looks obviously because I have been in in hell for so long and I didn’t really see, until now.

“Ashley, you ok?” I asked softly looking at her and her eyes shifted left and right and quickly they glossed over and she put her head back down chipping away at her own nails. She took in a large huff of breath and nodded, swallowing a few times before she brought her head back up, still not quite looking me in the eyes.

“Seriously, is everything all right? Ash what did you do? Your reminding me of that day at school…” and instantly I had a flashback to that day, and obviously I had struck a nerve because just then the