In Me - Tiffany Anyel (shoe dog free ebook txt) 📗

was the least of my issues.

I feel someone grab my arm--I turn and meet Lee’s dark eyes. They looked almost black--and filled with fury as he stared at me. A little startled by his expression I could only stare at them--hypnotized.

“Can we talk?” he finally said still holding me rather tightly—with Jenn no more than a few feet away. I could see her out of the corners of my eyes--shocked by Lee’s behavior. So was I--I look at Lee, “Cant it wait?”

“No,” he said with finality. I jerk my hand out of his grip, “Lee--later? Okay?” I mean what was he doing? Jenn was right there for pete’s sake--growing more angry and curious by the second. This wasn’t looking good.

I don’t wait for him to respond as I continue walking up the stairs. I open my door walking into my room. I walk over to my bed falling down into its softness. Hearing a door slam--I sit up looking at the door.

“What is your problem?!” I yell at Lee as he walks into my room. He walks up to my bed standing in front of me.

I almost felt the urge to shrink in his presence as he stood staring at me. Pretending to brush off how utterly shocked I was--I roll my eyes lying back on the bed.

After he doesn’t respond or speak I sit up on my elbows raising my eyebrows, “Yea?”

“You can’t be with him Kate,” Lee finally said calmly--although there was no ‘calmness’ about him as he stared down at me.

“And why is that Lee? Because you don’t want me to?” I said looking up at him—trying to sound as calm as I could. Even though my heart hadn’t stopped pounding since he slammed the door.

“Yes. That’s exactly why,” Lee said glaring at me--trying to hold back the ‘obvious’ anger in his voice. I stifle a laugh—although this was nowhere near ‘funny’ right now.

I look at him, “You have some nerve Lee you know that? Here you are telling me I cant be with someone ‘because you don’t want me to’ and you are with Jenn! right now. You know Jenn--your girlfriend! Who you are still with by the way—so you coming in here acting like you have ANY authority over who I date is… yea quite funny.” I finally spat at him, never leaving his eyes--feeling my own angry rise—I was beyond pissed off at this point.

“Do you want me to stop seeing Jenn—is that it?” Lee asked looking at me.

“No Lee! that’s not what I’m saying!” I yell at him. “Then why aren’t you saying that Kate?! Why aren’t you even pissed that I am still with her?!” Lee spat.

Shocked by what he just asked I only stare at him. “Yea Kate—I said it.” Lee finally said still glaring at me—clearly waiting for me to respond.

I didn’t know what to say--suddenly realizing how loud we were I get walking to the door. Peeking my head out—expecting Jenn and Paul to be standing there listening—I was relieved when I didn’t see anyone. I shut the door walking back into the room.

“What—scared your little boyfriend is gonna hear us?” Lee said as I sat back on the bed. Rolling my eyes at him—I bring my feet in sitting up on the bed. “I hope he does!” Lee yells at the door.

“Will you stop?! He’s not even here anyway. But Jenn is…” I said looking up at him. He stares at me and stifles a laugh, “Why are you so scared of everything?”

“What?! I’m not! Just because I don’t want Paul or Jenn

hearing us--doesn’t mean I’m scared Lee!” I spat.

Lee crosses his arms looking at me, “Yes you are Kate--and this has nothing

to do with Paul or Jenn.” “How can you even say that?! Of course it does! They a--“ “No it does not!!” Lee yells interrupting me.

Startled I stare at him. “This has to do with YOU and Me Kate! And you sitting here acting like ‘they’ are the issue--proves even more, how scared

you are to face what is literally standing right in front of you,” Lee said never leaving my eyes.

“I don’t know what you want me to say!” I finally spat. “Just admit your scared Kate!” “Fine! I’m scared Lee! Are you happy now?! It doesn’t change anything!” I said crossing my arms—looking away.

Lee leans over and takes his hand--holding my face, “Yes it does Kate.”

“No it doesn’t Lee--I’m not losing what we have, okay? And I just wished you’d understand that.” I finally said--trying hard not to blink. I could feel tears just waiting for it.

“So what—you’re just going to be with that asshole because you’re too scared to be with me?” Lee said still holding me.

“I like Paul, Lee” I said meeting his eyes. “Bull shit Kate. You and I both know that is complete bullshit

,” Lee said as he released my face—stepping back.

“No it’s not! We are just getting to know each other that’s all. And I’m not being with Paul because I can’t be with you. Paul is just a nice guy and I’d like to get to know him better and hopefully tonight we can spend some time doing that,” I said looking up at him.

Lee bends down meeting my eyes--no more than two inches from my face, “I’m going to let this happen Kate because I care for you--and if you think you need this then I won’t stop you. But just know… if he fucks

with you in anyway tonight--it won’t be the door that I slam in his face--and I mean that. I don’t want him touching

you. Do you understand?” Lee said as he looked me in my eyes.

After I didn’t respond--more like couldn’t, he gets up walking out of the room.


****


“Oooohh! I wanna ride that one!” I said jumping up and down, pointing to a ride. Feeling like a complete kid again as I almost ran to it--getting in line.

We had rode almost every ride twice already, making sure I didn’t leave any out. I had been bouncing up and down giddy all night--probably from all the cotton candy and candy apples I hadn’t stopped eating since we got here.

“Are you sure? It looks a little unsafe,” Paul said sounding apprehensive as he finally caught up to me, looking up at the ride--hearing varied screams each time it flipped.

“Yes! I am so sure—I mean look at it!” I said gleaming. “I don’t know about this one Kate,” Paul said not hiding his 'obvious' reluctance to get on it--he was scared.

I had been pulling him along all night--having to convince him to get on every ride--twice. It has been a chore to say the least. It was times like these I wished Lee was here.

He would be the one dragging me--he always made sure to find the biggest or scariest ride. And we always rode that one first--no exceptions.

I turn to Paul, “Please? If you don’t want to though it’s okay, you can wait for me…” I look around the park, “you can wait for me over there!” I finally said pointing to a bench with a view of the ride farther back.

“No its okay, face your fears right?” Paul said sounding nervous. “Right!” I said as we walked closer up in the line.

One more turn to go--before I was finally riding this thing! Yay! “So where is Lee and Jenn tonight? I haven’t seen them—have you?” Paul asked as we stood in line.

Taken aback a little by his question--Paul is asking about Lee? That’s strange—okay a little more than strange. I pretend to look around the park, “Umm… I don’t know. Maybe they decided not to come,” I finally said looking at him.

Why did Paul want to see Lee? I know I didn’t--okay that’s not entirely true. I mean I was at a carnival after all—something I have always done with Lee.

And this was the first time--in a long time, he wasn’t here sharing this with me. But I didn’t want Lee ruining my mood--and after the way he spoke to me earlier I just knew if I saw him--that’s exactly what would happen.

I had silently wished he wouldn’t show up tonight. I wanted to have fun and besides having to drag a scared Paul around--it has been.

I look up at the ride smiling—hearing screams--I was more than ready. My fun level was about to go up a notch!

“Can we cut in?” Hearing Lee’s voice I instinctively turn and find him, Jenn, and Sam behind us. They were laughing, playing around with each other--obviously having a good time.

“Sure!” Paul said looking at them. “Sam how are you feeling?” Paul asked turning to her. “Oh I’m okay--like I’ve told you a million times already,” Sam finally said laughing.

I could only stare at Lee and how he was purposely ignoring me as he held Jenn in his arms, whispering in her ear. She hit him laughing.

What was this? Jenn and Lee actually getting along? Laughing

with each other? I stood staring at them.

“Kate?” I look at Paul, “Yea?” He points behind me, “They are waiting for you to get on.” Realizing I had totally zoned out for a moment--forgetting where I was--I quickly turn around seeing the ‘ride guy’ waiting for us.

“Oh sorry,” I finally said stepping up to find a seat. “Are you ready?” Paul asked sitting beside me.

“Yes I am. I have been waiting to get on this ride all night,” I finally said looking at Paul--spotting Lee and Jenn sitting down a couple of seats in front of us out of the corner of my eyes.

Sam sat right in front of us she turns her head glancing back, “I am so ready for this!” I laugh looking at her, “Me too!”

We all finally stumble out. “Oh my god we have to ride that again!” Sam said laughing. “Yea I know—it was intense!,” I said laughing with her.

“Okay fine we will—but could we get something to eat first?” Paul asked and turning to me he smiles, “something besides cotton candy?”

I laugh at him, “Yes. I could have some real food.” “Did I hear someone say food?” Lee said as him and Jenn finally walked up to us.

I didn’t turn looking at him--although I could see them out of the corner of my eyes. “Yes, we are going to find something to eat around here--what are you guys in the mood for?” Paul finally asked looking at everyone.

“I’m game for anything,” Sam replied rubbing her stomach. “Of course you are—you’re always ‘game’ for something Sam,” Jenn said laughing as Lee held her from behind--swaying her back and forth.

I couldn’t even respond as all my attention was on them. “Kate? Is there something you want in particular?” Paul asked looking at me.

“Oh no—whatever we all decide is fine with me,” I said trying hard not to stare at Lee. I mean what was he doing? Holding her like that?

We