In Me - Tiffany Anyel (shoe dog free ebook txt) 📗

walk finding a pizza place, sitting down to eat. I couldn’t even concentrate on eating--glancing at Jenn and Lee.

“Here you have to try this…” Lee said holding up his fork for Jenn to take a bite. “Hmm… that is good babe,” Jenn finally said swallowing.

Lee leans down kissing her on the mouth--pulling away licking his lips. I blatantly stare at him.

He turns looking at me--pretending not to notice my ‘obvious’ glare as he looks at my plate, “Kate why aren’t you eating? It’s really good--you should try it” he finally said turning back to Jenn.

Paul looks at my plate, “Yea Kate—why aren’t you eating? Are you not hungry?” I don’t even answer Paul looking at Lee, “Can I talk to you?” I finally said getting up from the table.

“Right now?” Lee asked as he sat there holding Jenn. I stare at him—darkly, “Yes. Right now,” I finally said walking out.

“Yea?” Lee finally said walking toward me--he crosses his arms waiting for me to speak. I couldn't--I could only stare at him--pissed.

“Kate I thought you wanted to talk—if not th--“ “I know what you’re doing Lee--and I want you to stop!” I spat interrupting him.

Smiling he stifles a laugh, “You want me to stop?” “Yes.” “Stop what Kate?” Lee said smiling at me. “Stop pissing me off!” I spat glaring at him, “And you can wipe that smirk off your face--cause it’s not funny.”

“Yes, yes it is Kate—you’re funny. I’m just doing what any boyfriend would do--nothing more. And it’s funny how earlier you were okay with it and now… what--you’re not?” Lee asked raising his eyebrows.

“Oh so you’re trying to prove a point Lee--is that it?” I finally said crossing my arms. “I think I already have--and I am going to enjoy proving it some more,” Lee said smiling at me.

“What the hell does that mean Lee?” I said as I stood facing him. He leans over looking at me, “I think you know what it means Kate.”

Feeling my angry boil I stare at him, “You will not

touch her Lee.”

“Is that so?” Lee finally said meeting my eyes. “Yes

that’s so. I can make demands too--and I don’t want you touching

her,” I said never leaving his eyes.

“So what do you suggest I`do Kate?” Lee asked looking at me. “I don’t know—but seeing you with her… like that. I can’t

watch you be with her,” I finally said looking away.

“There you guys are! We have been looking for you,” Jenn said as she walks up holding Lee from behind. “Babe are you going to come finish? It’s getting cold,” Jenn finally said peeking over looking at him.

“No!—we’re not done talking,” I spat staring at her. She had about two seconds to walk away--I don’t think I have ever been this angry. I look at her, “Did you hear what I said Jenn?”

“Yes I did Kate--and this is me ignoring you,” She finally said as she rolled her eyes, turning back to Lee. I could only let out a laugh--looking at her, “I am so sick

of your bullshit Jenn, you know that?”

Shocked by my response she only looked at me. I could see Lee staring at me out of the corners of my eyes. “And I am so sick!

of letting you get away with it,” I said as I looked down, shaking my head.

Feeling my body tremble with utter fury, I look up meeting her eyes, “Not anymore Jenn.” “Hey what’s going on guys?” Sam asked as her and Paul came up to us.

Paul walks up to me, “Come on—lets go.” I didn’t respond—or look at him--I only had eyes for Jenn. “Kate look at me,” Paul finally said as he stood in front of me.

He brings his hands up, holding my face, “Let’s go, okay?” Paul said taking my hand pulling me away.

I finally turn around walking off with him.

The Strength in me

“There she is…” John said seeing me and Paul as we walked up to the booth.

“Hey,” I said smiling at him--trying to hide how still utterly pissed I was. Thankful Paul had pulled me away when he did.—I have never been in a fight, but now I know what it feels like to want to--and I still wanted to.

I hope I don’t see her--or her fucking face, she didn’t have any more chances with me. I was spent--done

dealing with her bullshit.

“So you enjoying the rides Kate?” John asked turning to me. “Yea I am,—although I can’t say the same for Paul here,” I finally said bumping Paul on the shoulder smiling at him.

Laughing out loud John looks at Paul, “Damn Paul she has balls! I like this one,” he turns to me, “Yea I know, he is such

a pussy—isn’t he?. I don’t know how many times I’ve asked him to go bungie jumping with me,—and whats the excuse you always give me Paul?” John turns to Paul stifling a laugh.

“What--I am always tied up in work, you know that. Plus it’s a dangerous thing to do anyway,” Paul finally said pretending to take offense to John’s obvious teasing.

“Right,—right, yep that’s the one,” John said as he hung a big, tan and orange stuffed lion on the wall, as one of the prizes. “What? You like it?” John asked noticing me admiring the stuffed animal.

“Yes I do… it looks so soft,” I said as I stood staring at it. There was something about it, it kind of mirrored me, how I was feeling. Like a ‘raging’ lion ready to pounce--ready to go after whatever was standing in my way.

And right now I was ready to prove to myself that I had the courage,—and the strength to do just that. And no matter who--whether it’s a bitchy girlfriend--or my own long-held fear of failing at following my dreams. It was time to attack--and there is no better time than the present.

I look at John, “How do I win that?” I asked pointing to the lion--the symbol for my internal strength. “You wanna play? Cool!” John said smiling at me.

“Now if want to win that,—that’s a pretty big prize, it’s gonna take a pretty big win,” John finally said looking at me. I smile at him, “Well it’s a good thing I have some pretty big balls, right? Because his mine!” I finally said smiling at him, taking the gun.

“Now you see those there? You have to hit at least three to win the big guy,—you ready?” John said as he showed me what to do. “Yes. I am ready,” I finally said bringing the gun up,—closing one eye. You can do this Kate. Focus on what you want--and take the shot!

Taking a deep breath, I pull the trigger.

“Damn! That was a lucky shot!” John said laughing,—surprised I had actually hit the target. “Luck had nothing to do with it baby!” I finally said smiling at him, bringing the gun up for another hit.

“I cant believe you did it!” John said as he took the stuffed animal down, “And with only three shots—on top of that. You do have balls,—don’t you? Paul you better watch out for this one,” John said stifling a laugh,—handing me my prize.

“Thank you,” I said looking at John taking it from his hands. “I was right—you are soft,” I finally said bringing it to my cheeks. We finally say our ‘good-byes’ to John, walking away.


“You know I could have bought that for you,” Paul said gesturing to the animal that I held closely to my chest. “Yea I know,—but I needed to win it. And I’m glad I did,” I said glancing up at Paul smiling.

“And did

you win it.—Have you ever shot a gun before tonight?” Paul asked. “Nope! And I probably won’t,—unless it’s one of those,” I said as I moved my head gesturing to the booth behind us as we walked through the park.

“I think John was right.—I’m going to have to keep my eyes on you. You’re a special one Kate,” Paul finally said smiling at me, as he took my hand holding it.

Although I instinctively wanted to pull my hand away--remembering Lee’s words. A part of me didn’t want to.—Paul had been there for me and still was--even though I had no doubt he knew about me and Lee.

If he didn’t know what we did,—he definitely knew something was going on. I think someone would have to be blind, in denial or just plain ignorant,—like Jenn--to not see it. Feeling my hand slack in his embrace, Paul wrapped his fingers around mine, holding them tightly.

We spot Sam in one of the lines, waiting to get on. Where were Jenn and Lee? Wanting to mentally slap myself for even thinking of her!, I wave at Sam.

“Hey guys! I was wondering where you both went off to,” Sam said as we approached her in the line. I pretend not to notice the subtle look she gave us,—as she looked down and saw us holding hands.

“Yea we went to see John,” Paul finally said looking at her. He seemed a bit nervous as we stood in line with her.

I wasn’t in denial--and I definitely wasn’t blind, Sam and Paul liked each other--even though they probably both didn’t know it yet.

I feel myself smile as they reminded me of me and Lee--once upon a time. “Why are you smiling,—what’s funny? Is there a fat balding guy around here I don’t see?” Sam asked as she looked around the park,—hoping to spot someone funny looking.

“No,—no, at least not that I know of,” I finally said laughing with her as we walked up closer in line.


“I’m glad you had fun tonight,” Paul said as we finally left the carnival walking along on the beach.

“Yea I know, I’m glad I decided to stay,” I said looking up at him. “Yea me too. How about one more splash before we call it a night?” Paul asked gesturing to the sparkling water.

It looked cool and quite peaceful as the moon seemed to shine down on it. The waves were small and inviting--how could I say no? “Yea okay, but I need to change first and put Courage here—down before I get in.,” I finally said holding up the stuffed animal.

“Courage huh? You named it?” Paul asked laughing. “Yea,—I guess I did,” I said laughing with