Colonel Chuckles - Scorpio *** (best classic romance novels .TXT) 📗

Table of Contents

  

 

 

 

Dedication

 

Preamble

 

Laugh, and  Live Long 

 

Scorpio Expounds 

 

100 Hilarious Moments with the Colonel 

 

About Scorpio 

Dedication

 

  

This E- Book, Colonel Chuckles, is dedicated  to  the fond memory of 

Late  Lt Gen SK Pillai PVSM, AVSM who gracefully released the print version 

on 27 Oct 2013 in the monthly seminar of the 

Under the Greenwood Tree English Club at Trivandrum.

Preamble

 

 

 

 

“ A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow,

next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to

explain why it didn't happen.” 

                                                                                     Sir Winston Churchill  

 

In our case, the tragedy is that we have politicians who do not have either!

 

 

 Applicable to some of the Colonels too! 

Laugh, and Live Long!

 

 

Laugh, and Live Long !  

                       

Laughter is the best medicine for human life, the knowledgeable had said umpteen times! And, perhaps, human being is the only creation of God who is bequeathed with the virtuosity to laugh. While creating human beings, Lord Almighty might have foreseen the trauma that he (the human being) is subjected to from the stresses and strains he has to endure in these classy modern times and might have thought it fit to present him with the divine gift of laughter as a panacea for all the tribulations.

 

But, life in the present-day society has become so complex and complicated that man has become a silent victim of circumstances whose snivels are not heard by any one. In the mad rush for money, power and prominence, man has forgotten the finer feelings of life and has virtually become a mental and physical wreck. Result? He has forgotten the most beautiful expression i.e. to ‘laugh’, sentiments like love, sympathy, compassion, etc. all of which, alas!   have vanished from our modern society!

 

It is in this context that one has to appreciate the relevance of books like ‘Colonel Chuckles’. When we go through the pages of this book, which contains a careful collection of hundred anecdotes, we feel as if we are ushered into a serene world of fun and frolic, devoid of ill will, hatred, rancor or malice. Col Nair is at his best when he narrates the stories with direct linkage to the Defence Services of which he was a part and parcel for more than a quarter of a century, even though some of us may not be aware of the intricate nuances of that noble profession.

 

Col Nair’s presentation of the stories in simple and lucid language makes the reading immensely interesting. May be due to his engineering background, he has shown precision in selecting his words and incidents tailored with scrupulous exactitude. He himself owns (a very rare phenomenon!) that he had collected the threads for these anecdotes from Internet and his wide circle of friends; fortunately I am one of them! He has transformed those threads into shimmering lights of positive energy, with which he illuminates the dark, dull and monotonous moments of our life!   ‘Col Tweets’ at the end of each anecdote is an icing on the cake to add more charm and sweetness!

 

‘Colonel Chuckles’ is a book to be read in peace, re-read and preserved on your coffee table in every household, I believe!

 

Let’s laugh, and live long!

 

K L Sreekrishna Das

10 Feb 2013

Scorpio Expounds

 

 

About Col Chuckles

 

Once you cross sixty you are compulsorily retired from Govt service and conveniently seen off from corporates, your only valuable possession being a group photo(in digital of course) in which you, for the first time in life, sitting at the center with   the most rehearsed and perfected smile and with a bouquet held fondly by both hands and others with simulated grim faces as if they are mourning your departure form this abode !

 

Naturally you will now look forward to a peaceful and happy retired life, though quite often wondering why the hell you were not born fifty years later so that you wouldn’t have missed the moments of ecstasy and thrills that your grand children enjoy now thanks to the technological revolutions that shook the world in last 40 years!

 

And day by day your expectations would turn into mirages for you would gradually and systematically be transformed and branded as “go getters” and “baby sitters” by your wife, sons/daughters and sons-in-law/daughters-in-law, Invariably you would find yourself deep in the quick sand of inaction and despair.

 

I started scripting this collection, which you may call by any name you choose, with the sole idea of providing you with something to laugh at open heartedly and something that would make your otherwise gloomy days a bit brighter!

 

After reading the manuscript my dear friend Murali( whom I call fondly as Annan) squarely accused me of plagiarism for I have stolen all threads for these anecdotes from Internet without any shame! He is absolutely right and you too will agree straight away!

 

But, my answer to him as also to you is just simple ‘ If you copy from one book or source it is Plagiarism, but if you do the same from different sources, collect, collate, sift and build castles in thin air then it is “Research”. I’m doing research on few people whom I see quite often around me in my own style to find their true traits, features, tenor, texture, and moods which I failed or forgotten to notice earlier!

 

I earnestly believe that you would spend few hours of your otherwise wasted time to go through these anecdotes with a critical eye! The best place to keep this tiny book, if I may call so, would be on top of your bedside cabinet so that it is easily accessible when you picked up a fight with your spouse and he/she vehemently wants you to put off the light which your ego would never permit you to!

 

And your suggestions, corrections and comments will be of great value to me because those will help me to upgrade the second edition to perfection when it is released, hopefully in the nearest future with all your blessings!

 

The protagonist

 

The central character in these anecdotes is “Colonel”. If you find a flabby half baldish 5’ 8” tall man, with a grayish mustache neatly trimmed, always clad in Lewis Jeans and dark Denim shirt of pleasing colours with whitish Action shoes briskly walking past you on the MG road with a sophisticated smile at you while unknowingly fixing his gold rimmed specs, you have not missed him! It is the ‘Colonel’. Retired from Army about 15 years back, he has settled down in the capital and enjoys the real retired life in his own way! A true soldier he had been Mentioned in Dispatches while in service and doesn’t forget to wear its miniature even in civvies!.

 

Why Col? Because my association with Col lasts for the past 40 years. He had been my school mate, bench mate, college mate, bus mate, room mate and course mate in Army!   More than any thing else he has been my trouble mate all these years landing me and himself in trouble knowingly or unknowingly every second day. Still I   reverently address him as ‘Boss’ and he fondly calls me ‘Mate’

 

A man with a golden heart who can never say NO to you if he happens to know you even from distance! This great quality of his landed him in many trouble spots in service and now too. I still remember one comment made by his Commanding officer who believed in ‘Words are few when heart is full’ “ Col… I must tell you, if you were a woman you would have been pregnant 100 times. I suggest you get a copy of Patti Breitman’s book on ‘How to say No’ ”.

 

Col is not a bamboozle as you would think once you go through these anecdotes most of which has some frills from my side! On his own, he is studious and intelligent proved from the fact that he got qualified in DSSC Entrance Examination in the first attempt it self. But the unique thing that distinguishes him from others is that he can never perform anything on his own! He always needs his PA or BM(Batman) or his wife around him to tell him what he should do!

 

You would definitely draw a caricature of this wonderful man in your mind after reading his exploits. I’m sure you would adore him as a true friend!!

 

Scorpio

 

25 Jan 2013