The Book of Good Manners - W. C. Green (inspirational books to read txt) 📗

nod of farewell is admissible.

WOMEN. Women leave cards of their male relatives as well as their own, even though their names may be announced upon entering.

Guests leave their cards in a receptacle provided for the purpose, or give them to the servant at the door.

Women wear a costume appropriate for the afternoon, and keep their hats and gloves on.

AFTERNOON TEAS (INFORMAL). An afternoon tea is a simple entertainment. Refreshments are generally served to the guests. An innovation lately introduced has become quite popular —namely, young women, invited for the purpose, wait upon the guests, bringing in one dainty at a time.

An afternoon tea is called a formal afternoon tea when engraved cards have been issued, naming set date.

CARDS. Guests should leave cards in the hall, or hand them to the servant. Women may leave the cards of the men of her family.

Those unable to attend should send card the same afternoon by mail or messenger.

See also AFTERNOON TEAS (Formal)-Cards.

DRESS. Both men and women wear afternoon dress.

GUESTS. All guests, both men and women, wear afternoon dress.

Guests may suit their convenience in arriving or departing—provided they do not come at the opening hour, nor stay to the last moment.

After the guests have left their wraps in the dressing-rooms, they leave their cards in the tray in the hall and enter the drawing-room, the women preceding the men.

After greeting the hostess and being introduced to those assisting her, the guests quietly move away and mingle with the rest.

Each guest goes to the dining-room when he pleases and leaves when he wishes. It is not necessary upon departure to shake hands with the hostess at a large reception, though it is better to do so at a small affair.

It is not necessary for a guest to stay the entire evening; twenty minutes is sufficient.

HOST. If present, he does not receive with his wife. It is not essential that he be present on such an occasion.

HOSTESS. The hostess wears full dress. Daughters may assist, or young women may be asked to do so.

HOURS. From four to seven.

INVITATIONS. For an afternoon tea a visiting-card may be used with the hour and date written or engraved on it. They may be sent by mail or messenger.

The invitation need not be acknowledged.

AFTERNOON WEDDING RECEPTIONS are conducted the same as Wedding Receptions, which see.

AGRICULTURE, SECRETARY OF—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: I have the honor to remain most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Hon. John J. Wilson, Secretary of Agriculture.

AISLE PROCESSION.

See WEDDING PROCESSION.

ANGLICAN CHURCH ARCHBISHOP.

See ARCHBISHOP.

ANGLICAN CHURCH BISHOP.

See BISHOP.

ANNIVERSARIES—WEDDING. These are as follows: First year……………….Paper Fifth year……………..Wooden Tenth year ………………Tin Twelfth year………….Leather Fifteenth year ……….Crystal Twentieth year………….China Twenty-fifth year………Silver Thirtieth year …………Ivory Fortieth year………….Woolen Forty-fifth year…………Silk Fiftieth year………… Golden Seventy-fifth year…… Diamond Less attention is now paid than formerly to all those before the silver wedding. For specific information, see SILVER WEDDING, TIN

WEDDING, etc.

ANNOUNCEMENT—ENGAGEMENT.

See ENGAGEMENT PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT.

ANNOUNCING GUESTS—BALLS. The hostess decides whether or not the guests are to be announced.

At public balls it is customary.

ANSWERING INVITATIONS.

See under FUNCTIONS, as

DINNERS, INVITATIONS, etc.

APPLES should be pared, cut into small pieces, and eaten with finders or forks.

ARCHBISHOP OF ANGLICAN CHURCH—HOW ADDRESSED.

An official letter begins: My Lord Archbishop, may it please your Grace, and ends: I remain, My Lord Archbishop, your Grace’s most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Lord Archbishop, and ends: I have the honor to remain, my dear Lord Archbishop.

The address on the envelop is: The Most Reverend, His Grace the Archbishop of Kent.

ARCHBISHOP OF ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH—HOW ADDRESSED.

An official or social letter begins: Most Reverend and Dear Sir, and ends: I have the honor to remain your humble servant.

The address on the envelope is: The Most Reverend John J. Wilson, Archbishop of Kent.

ARTICHOKES are eaten with the fingers, taking off leaf by leaf and dipping into the sauce. The solid portion is broken up and eaten with a fork.

ASPARAGUS. The stalks may be taken between the finger and the thumb, if they are not too long, or the green end may be cut off and eaten with a fork, scraping off with the knife what is desired from the remaining part.

AT HOMES.

AFTERNOON AT HOMES. The days for receiving are engraved in the lower left hand corner of the card, with hours specified if one wishes.

No changes should be made in these hours by the hostess unless for exceptional reasons, and she should always be present at the time set.

Unless very intimate, the call should be made only on the specified days.

BACHELORS. It is not customary for a bachelor to use “At Home” cards as a woman does, nor to invite his friends by writing a date and Music at four on his calling-cards in place of an invitation.

DRESS. In the afternoon the caller should wear afternoon dress, and in the evening evening dress.

ACKNOWLEDGING INVITATIONS. Invitations to an ordinary at home need no acknowledgment.

INVITATIONS. Cards for an “At Home” are engraved with the hour for beginning the

entertainment—as, Chocolate at 4.30 o’clock.

The invitations to a formal “At Home”

should be sent in two envelopes, but to an ordinary “At Home” in one envelope. For informal affairs the hour may be written on an ordinary “At Home” card.

BACHELORS’ DINNERS. They follow the usual custom of formal dinners, and may be as elaborate as desired. Women may be invited. Such dinners are often given for men only.

CALLS. Women do not call upon a bachelor after attending a dinner given by him.

CHAPERONE. If women are present, a married woman as chaperone is indispensable, and her husband must also be invited. The host should call upon the chaperone and personally request the favor.

The chaperone is taken into dinner by the host, unless the latter takes in the woman in whose honor the dinner may be given. In the latter case, the chaperone is seated at the host’s left. She gives the signal for the women to leave the dining-room.

All guests should be introduced to the chaperone, and she should be called upon after a short time by the host.

DRESS. All guests wear evening dress.

HOST. The host should call upon the chaperone within a few days after the dinner.

If men only are present, he either precedes or follows the guests into the dining-room, and if he has given the dinner in honor of some man, he has the latter seated at his right. His duties are the same as the host at dinners.

INVITATIONS. These are usually given in brief notes, but may be engraved, and are similar to the regular invitations to dinners, and are treated accordingly.

MEN. The men wear evening dress, and follow the same etiquette as at other dinners.

WOMEN. The women wear evening dress, and follow the same etiquette as at all dinners, except that no calls are made by them afterward upon the host.

BACHELOR’S FAREWELL DINNER. If the groom wishes, he may give a farewell dinner a few evenings before the wedding to his best man, ushers, and a few intimate friends. He sits at the head of the table and the best man opposite, and on this occasion he may give scarf-pins, link cuff-buttons—or neckties and gloves, if he wishes—to the best man and ushers.

BACHELORS’ LUNCHEONS. These are conducted like BACHELOR’S DINNERS, which see. The one difference is that, should the luncheon be given before 6 P.M., afternoon dress should be worn.

BACHELORS’ OPERA PARTIES. See THEATRE AND OPERA PARTIES GIVEN BY MEN.

BACHELORS’ SUPPERS. These are conducted the same as BACHELOR’S DINNERS, which see.

BACHELORS’ TEAS OR AFTERNOON RECEPTIONS.

CHAPERONES. If women are present, a married chaperone is indispensable, who should be the first person invited by personal call.

The chaperone at a small affair pours the tea, and at a large one she receives with the host, and each guest is presented to her.

The host conducts the chaperone to her carriage, and also any other women who may have assisted her.

DRESS. The hosts and guests wear afternoon dress.

INVITATIONS. These maybe oral, brief notes, or, for a large affair, engraved, and should be sent from three days to a week in advance.

HOST. The host should greet his guests at the door, shaking hands with each one, and introducing to the chaperone those not known to her.

He introduces guests who are strangers to each other, bids them adieu, accompanies the women to the door, and escorts the chaperone to her carriage, and if she has come alone without one, may very properly escort her home.

If at a large reception several women have helped him entertain, he should thank them and see them to their carriages.

He will, of course, see that there is provided a dressing-room for women with a maid to wait upon them, and that the rooms are in good order, well furnished with flowers, and that the refreshments are attended to.

See also INVITATIONS.

MEN. Afternoon dress is worn.

WOMEN. The invitations, engraved or oral, should be promptly acknowledged.

Women wear dress customary at afternoon teas, and on their entrance should greet the host. Upon departing they take leave of him, though this is not necessary if the reception be a large one.

If a young woman knows that a chaperone is present, she need not have her own chaperone accompany her.

If the chaperone leaves early, she should do likewise.

BACHELORS’ THEATRE PARTY. See THEATRE AND OPERA PARTIES GIVEN BY MEN.

BADGES—BALLS (PUBLIC). It is customary for men and women on the committees to wear on the left side of the breast ornamental badges, embroidered with the official position of the wearer.

BAGGAGE. If a man is traveling with a woman, he should see to the checking and care of her baggage.

See also TRAVELING.

WEDDING TRIP. The best man should, some time before the wedding, see that the baggage of the bridal couple has been checked, and the checks given to the groom.

See also BEST MAN.

BALLS. A ball is an evening function, beginning at a late hour, devoted wholly to dancing. The costumes are more elaborate, the supper arrangements more extensive, and the floral

decorations more lavish than at a dance.

ACCEPTING INVITATION TO DANCE. While a young woman may accept or decline any invitation to dance, it is considered an act of discourtesy to refuse one man for a dance and to accept an invitation thereafter for the same dance from another.

ANNOUNCING GUESTS. The hostess decides whether or not the guests are to be announced.

At public balls it is customary.

ANSWERING INVITATIONS. These should be answered immediately, and if declined, the ticket should be returned.

ARRIVING AT. There is no set rule when guests should arrive.

In the city, guests should arrive anywhere between eleven and twelve, and in the country, fifteen minutes after the hour set in the invitation.

ASKING WOMEN TO DANCE. A man asks for the privilege of a dance either with the daughter of the hostess, with any guest of the latter, or with any young woman receiving with her.

On being introduced to a woman, he may ask her for a dance, and should be punctual in keeping the engagement.

It is her privilege to end the dance at any moment she wishes, after which he should conduct her to her chaperone or find a seat for her, after which he is at liberty to go elsewhere.

If for any cause a man has to break his engagements to dance, he should personally explain the matter to every woman with whom