The Book of Good Manners - W. C. Green (inspirational books to read txt) 📗

knows the destination, and should keep it an inviolate secret, revealing it only in case of accident.

It is becoming the fashion for the married couple to do away with the trip, and instead to begin their married life in their own home.

VEIL. This should be white. While its length depends upon the wishes of the bride, the long veil is more in keeping with the traditions and customs of the wedding ceremony.

WOMEN-CARDS. When invitations have been received to the church but not to the wedding reception, cards should be sent to the bride’s parents and to the bridal couple.

WEDDINGS.

AISLE PROCESSION. See Weddings-Procession Up the Aisle.

ANNIVERSARIES. See Anniversaries-Wedding.

ANNOUNCEMENTS. Announcement cards are sent the day after the wedding, and need not be acknowledged. They should be prepared beforehand and ready to be mailed. The expense is borne by the family of the bride.

At a home or a private wedding, announcement cards can be sent to friends out of town.

AT HOME. See Home Weddings.

BEST MAN. See Best Man.

BEST WISHES. Best wishes should be given to the bride and congratulations to the groom.

BOUQUETS. The bouquet carried by the bride is furnished by the groom, who may also provide bouquets for the bridesmaids if he wishes.

BRIDE. See Bride.

BRIDESMAIDS. See Bridesmaids.

CAKE. See Wedding Cake.

CALLS. See Weddings-Invitations-Calls.

CARDS OF ADMISSION TO CHURCH. These cards are used at all public weddings held in churches, and when used no one should be admitted to the church without one. They are sent with the wedding invitations.

They are kept in stock by the stationer, and are not expensive.

CARDS, VISITING, AFTER MARRIAGE. Mr. and Mrs. cards are used by the wife only within one year after the marriage, after which separate cards are in order. These Mr. and Mrs. cards are used in sending gifts, congratulations, condolence, and at ceremonious affairs, when both the husband and wife are represented.

CARRIAGES. Carriages should be provided to take the bride and her family to the church and back to the house, and also the guests from the church to the receptions.

The expense is borne by the family of the bride, save for the carriage used by the groom, which takes him and the best man to the church, and later takes the married couple to the house, and after the reception, to the station.

CHOIR-BOYS. See CHOIR-BOYS AT WEDDINGS.

CONGRATULATIONS. Congratulations may be sent with letter of acceptance or declination of an invitation to a wedding to those sending the invitations. And if acquaintance with bride and groom warrant, a note of congratulations may be sent to them also.

Guests in personal conversation with the latter give best wishes to the bride and congratulations to the groom.

CHURCH. See BEST MAN—CHURCH. BRIDE—CHURCH.

BRIDESMAIDS—CHURCH. GROOM—CHURCH. USHERS-CHURCH.

DANCES. It is not usual to have dances after the wedding.

DEPARTURE OF MARRIED COUPLE. See WEDDINGS—MARRIED

COUPLE.

DRESS. See BEST MAN—DRESS. BRIDE—DRESS.

GROOM-DRESS. WEDDINGS-GUESTS-DRESS, ETC.

EXPENSES. All the expenses are borne by the bride’s family, except the fees for the license, clergyman, organist, and sexton. The wedding-ring, the carriages for the groom, ushers, best man, and the carriage which takes away the married couple, are also paid for by the groom.

He also furnishes souvenirs to the maid of honor and bridesmaids, best man and ushers, and all expenses of the wedding trip.

If the groom gives a farewell bachelor dinner, he bears all expenses.

FAREWELL BACHELOR DINNERS. See Groom—

Farewell Dinner.

FAREWELL BRIDAL LUNCHEON. See Bride—

Farewell Luncheons.

FEES. The wedding fee, preferably gold or clean bills in sealed envelope, is given by the best man to the officiating clergyman.

Custom leaves the amount to the groom, who should give at least five dollars or more, in proportion to his income and social position.

The clergyman usually gives the fee to his wife.

FLOWER GIRLS. See Flower Girls.

FLOWERS are in general use. The quantity and quality of floral decorations must depend upon the taste and the wealth of the parties concerned.

BRIDE. The bride, if she desires, carries at the wedding ceremony a bouquet given by the groom. Flowers are sometimes dispensed with, and a Prayer-Book used.

CHURCH. In addition to the palms in the chancel, a string of flowers or white ribbons is stretched across the middle aisle, to reserve this place for the immediate family and specially invited guests.

USHERS. Boutonnieres, provided by the bride’s family, should be given to the sexton by the florist on the weddingday. They may be made of lilies of the valley, white roses, or the like.

Sometimes the ushers call at the house of the bride to have her fix them in the lapel of their coats.

GIFTS. The nearest members of each family should arrange among themselves what gifts to send, and thus avoid duplicates.

Expensive presents are sent only by most intimate friends, and articles of utility by relatives or near friends. All gifts should be sent within two months of date of marriage, and should have thereon the woman’s maiden name, initial cipher, or monogram, and should be acknowledged by the bride at the earliest moment, and not later than ten days after her marriage.

It is not in good taste to make an ostentatious display of the gifts, and if they are exhibited, the cards of the donors should be removed, and only intimate friends invited.

Those sending gifts should have the courtesy of an invitation to the wedding breakfast or reception.

If any gifts are sent to the groom, they should bear his initial.

A wedding invitation does not necessarily imply that a gift must be sent, as the sending of a gift is optional.

GROOM. See Groom.

GUESTS-BREAKFASTS OR RECEPTIONS. The

invited guests leave the church for the bride’s residence, and there are introduced by the ushers to the married couple and those standing up with them. If the guests are unknown to the ushers, they should give their names to one of them, who offers his left arm to the woman, while her escort follows and is introduced at the same time.

At the breakfast, guests are usually assigned places, but, if not, may take any

seat. Only the specially invited guests await the departure of the married couple, which ends the reception or breakfast.

If boxes of wedding-cake are placed on a table, each guest takes one on his departure.

GUESTS-CALLS. Invited guests should call at least within ten days and leave their cards.

DRESS. Broadly speaking, at a morning or afternoon wedding the guest wears afternoon dress, and at an evening wedding evening dress.

From the latter rule there are no deviations possible, but in the former there is greater latitude. Thus it would be possible for a man to wear a black cutaway coat at an afternoon wedding.

MEN. If the wraps are not left in the carriage, they are removed in the vestibule and are carried on the arm into the pew. A man follows the woman, who is escorted to the pew by the usher. At the end of the ceremony the guests should not leave until the immediate family have passed out.

Guests who are not invited to the breakfast or reception should not take offense, as the number present on such occasions is necessarily limited. These guests may seat themselves or are seated by the ushers, but not in the pews reserved for the family and specially invited guests.

WOMEN. No one should be present at a wedding in mourning, and it should be laid aside temporarily even by the mother, who wears

purple velvet or silk. Women on entering the church take the usher’s left arm, and are escorted to the pew, while their escort follows behind.

If they are immediate members of the family or are specially invited guests, they should give their names to the usher that he may seat them in the places reserved for them.

HATS OF GROOM AND OF BEST MAN. To do

away with the possibility of the best man having to take care of the hats of groom and best man during the wedding ceremony, it is a good plan for both groom and best man to leave them in the vestry, and to have them carried out to the front of the church, ready for them at the end of the ceremony.

HOME See Home Weddings.

HOST. See Father of Bride.

HOSTESS. See Mother of Bride.

HOURS. Any hour from nine in the morning to nine in the evening is appropriate.

The morning hours are usually selected for quiet home affairs; twelve o’clock, or high noon, is still considered as the fashionable hour, while from three to six is the hour most convenient for all concerned.

Evening weddings are not very convenient, chiefly because it is not as easy to handle the details as in the daytime.

INVITATIONS. The woman’s parents, guardians, or others give the wedding, send out the invitations, and bear all the expense of engraving and sending out the same. They are issued in the name of the one giving the wedding, and should be sent to near-by friends about twenty days in advance of the weddingday and earlier to out-of-town friends.

With them are sent the invitation to the wedding breakfast or reception, and also the card of admission to the church.

The groom should supply a list of names of such persons as he desires to have present, designating his preference for those to be present at the breakfast or reception.

In addressing wedding invitations, two envelopes are used. The inner one, unsealed, bears the name only of the person addressed, and is enclosed in another envelope, sealed, bearing the address of the person invited.

Parents should, of course, order these invitations of a fashionable dealer in stationery, that good taste may be observed.

If the invitation contains an invitation to the breakfast or reception, it should be accepted or declined at once, and the answer sent to those issuing the invitation. If the invitation does not include a breakfast or reception invitation, no acknowledgment is necessary.

Should the wedding, however, be at home, and the guests limited in number, an acknowledgment should be sent.

If the invitations bear the letters R. S. V. P.

an acknowledgment is necessary.

BRIDESMAIDS. At a large church wedding several invitations are usually given to the bridesmaids for their own personal use.

CALLS. Very intimate friends can call personally.

Friends of the groom who have no acquaintance with the bride’s family should send their cards to those inviting them.

Those who do not receive with wedding invitations and announcements At Home cards should not call, but consider themselves dropped from the circle of acquaintances of the married couple.

CARDS, LEAVING. If a person is invited to a wedding at a church, but not to the reception or breakfast, a card should be left or mailed both to the bride’s parents and to the married couple.

Those present at the ceremony should leave cards in person for those inviting them, and if this is not possible, they can send them by mail or messenger.

Those invited but not present should send cards to those who invited them.

RECALLED. When for some good reason a wedding has to be canceled or postponed, the parents of the bride should, as soon as possible, send printed notices, giving the reasons, to all the invited guests.

JOURNEY. See Wedding Trip.

MAID OF HONOR. See Maid of Honor.

MARKING GIFTS. See Marking Wedding Gifts.

MARRIED COUPLE. Immediately after the wedding breakfast or reception, the bride, with her maid of honor, retires to change her clothes for those suitable for travel. The groom, with his best man, does likewise, and waits for his wife at the foot of the stairs.

As she comes down the stairs she lets fall her bridal bouquet among the bridesmaids, who strive to secure it, as its possession is deemed a lucky sign of being the next