The Book of Good Manners - W. C. Green (inspirational books to read txt) 📗

bride.

As the couple pass out of the front door it is customary for the guests to throw after them, for luck, rice, rose leaves, flowers, old shoes, etc.

The form to be used in signing the hotel register is: Mr. and Mrs. John K. Wilson.

Good taste and a desire for personal comfort demand that their public acts and words be not of such a character as to attract attention.

See also Wedding Trip.

AT HOME. At the end of the wedding trip they proceed to their own home, and immediately send out their At Home cards, unless they have followed the better plan of enclosing them with their wedding cards.

They are at perfect liberty to send them to whom they please, and thus to select their friends. At these “At Homes” light refreshment is served, and the married couple wear full evening dress.

They are generally given a dinner by the bridesmaids, and are entertained by both families in appropriate ways.

MEN-DRESS. At a morning or afternoon wedding the groom, best man, and ushers wear afternoon dress, but at an evening wedding they wear evening dress.

For further details see Best Man—Dress.

Groom—Dress. Ushers—Dress.

MOURNING should not be worn at a wedding, but should be laid aside temporarily, the wearer appearing in purple.

MUSIC. The organist and the music are usually selected by the bride. Before the arrival of the bride the organist plays some bright selection, but on her entering the church and passing up the aisle he plays the Wedding March.

PAGES. See Pages.

PRIVATE. See Private Wedding.

PROCESSION UP THE AISLE. Many styles are adopted for the procession up the aisle. A good order is for the ushers to come first in pairs, then the bridesmaids, maid of honor, and last the bride on her father’s arm. At the altar the ushers and bridesmaids open ranks to allow the bride to pass through.

This order is usually reversed in the procession down the aisle.

RECALLING INVITATIONS. See Wedding Invitations (Recalled).

RECEPTIONS. See Wedding Receptions.

REHEARSALS. Rehearsals should be held even for a quiet home wedding, and at a sufficiently early date to insure the presence of all who are to participate.

REPORTERS. See Reporters—Weddings.

RIBBONS. See Ribbons at Church Weddings.

RICE. See Weddings—Throwing of Rice.

RING. This may be dispensed with, save in the Roman Catholic and in the Episcopal Church service. It is usually of plain gold, with initials of bride and groom and date of marriage engraved therein.

It is bought by the groom, who should give it to the best man to be kept till it is called for by the clergyman during the ceremony.

It is worn on the third finger of the bride’s left hand.

SECOND MARRIAGES. See Widows—Weddings.

SIGNING THE REGISTER. This is sometimes done by the bride and the groom, and takes place in the vestry, where the best man signs as chief witness and some of the guests as witnesses.

SOUVENIRS. See Souvenirs.

THROWING OF RICE. The throwing of rice is to be discouraged, but if it is to be done, the maid of honor should prepare packages of rice and hand them to the guests, who throw it after the bridal couple as they leave the house for their wedding trip.

TOASTS. Toasts to the bride and groom are customary at the wedding breakfast.

If the groom gives a farewell bachelor dinner, he should propose a toast to the bride.

TROUSSEAU. See Trousseau.

USHERS. See USHERS

WHITE RIBBONS. See RIBBONS.

WIDOWS. See WIDOWS—WEDDINGS.

WOMEN—DRESS. Women wear afternoon or evening dress, as the occasion requires.

See also WIDOWS. GUESTS.

WEDDINGS—GUESTS. WEDDINGS—WIDOWS.

WHITE RIBBONS AT WEDDINGS. See RIBBONS.

WIDOWS.

CARD. During the first year of mourning a widow has no cards, as she makes no formal visits. After the first year, cards with border of any desired depth are used.

Either the husband’s name or the widow’s baptismal name may be used, but if in the immediate family the husband’s name is duplicated, she should use her own name to avoid confusion. When her married son has his father’s full name, the widow should add SR. to hers, as the son’s wife is entitled to the name.

MOURNING. A widow should wear crape with a bonnet having a small border of white. The veil should be long and worn over the face for three months, after which a shorter veil may be worn for a year, and then the face may be exposed. Six months later white and lilac may be used, and colors resumed after two years.

STATIONERY, MOURNING. A widow’s stationery should be heavily bordered, and is continued as long as she is in deep mourning. This is gradually decreased, in accordance with her change of mourning.

All embossing or stamping should be done in black.

WEDDINGS. Widows should avoid anything distinctively white, even in flowers—especially white orange blossoms and white veil, these two being distinctively indicative of the first wedding. If she wishes, she can have bridesmaids and ushers. Her wedding-cards should show her maiden name as part of her full name.

WIDOWERS—STATIONERY, MOURNING. The width of black on his stationery should be reduced as the interval is diminished.

All stamping should be in black.

WIFE—CARDS. Only the wife of the oldest member of the oldest branch may use her husband’s name without the initials.

WIFE AND HUSBAND—CARDS, VISITING. When the wife is calling, she can leave cards of the husband and sons if it is impossible for them to do so themselves.

After an entertainment cards of the family can be left for the host and hostess by either the wife or any of the daughters.

WIFE OF BARONET—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Ladyship’s most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Wilson, and ends: Believe me, Lady Wilson, sincerely yours,

The address on the envelope is: To Lady Wilson.

WIFE OF A KNIGHT—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Ladyship’s most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Wilson, and ends: Believe me, Lady Wilson, sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope reads: To Lady Wilson.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF BARON—HOW ADDRESSED.

An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain, madam, your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Mrs. Wilson, and ends: Sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the Honorable Mrs. Wilson.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF DUKE—HOW ADDRESSED.

An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain, your Ladyship’s most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the Right Honorable the Lady John Kent.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady John Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Lady John Kent, faithfully yours.

The address is: To the Lady John Kent.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF EARL—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain, madam, your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Mrs. Wilson, and ends: Believe me, Mrs. Wilson, sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the Honorable Mrs. Wilson.

WIFE Of YOUNGER SON OF MARQUIS—HOW ADDRESSED.

An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Ladyship’s most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the Right Honorable, The Lady John Kent.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady John Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Lady John Kent, faithfully yours.

The address is: To the Lady John Kent.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF VISCOUNT—HOW ADDRESSED.

An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honour to remain, madam, your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Mrs. Wilson, and ends: Sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the Honorable Mrs. Wilson.

WINE. A guest not caring for wine should turn down his glass and leave it in that position, or a mere sign of dissent when it is offered is sufficient.

WITNESSES AT WEDDINGS. If witnesses are needed, the best man selects them, and himself signs as the chief witness.

WOODEN WEDDINGS. Five years after the marriage comes the wooden wedding. On the invitations sent out may be engraved, if desired, No presents received. Congratulations may be extended in accepting or declining these invitations.

Those invited make suitable presents, and on this occasion any device made of wood is appropriate, including articles of utility—as, kitchen utensils, household ornaments, etc.

An entertainment usually follows, WOOLEN WEDDINGS. This is the name of the fortieth wedding anniversary, and is seldom celebrated.

The invitations may have the words: No presents received, and in accepting or declining the invitations, congratulations may be sent.

An entertainment should be provided, and any article of woolen would be appropriate as a gift.

WOMEN.

BACHELOR’S DINNERS. Women do not call upon a bachelor after attending a dinner given by him.

CONDUCT TOWARD MEN. Male acquaintances should be carefully chosen, and great care exercised in accepting invitations from them.

When declining invitations from a man personally given, explanations are not necessary. If they are deemed desirable, they should be given as delicately as possible and without giving offence.

It is well never to receive men alone, unless they are most intimate friends. Compromising positions are easily fallen into, and a woman should be constantly on her guard.

WOMEN SERVANTS—TIPS. It is customary for guests at the end of a house-party visit to give tips to the maid for extra attention and taking care of the room, and also to the cook. The latter is usually tipped by the married men and bachelors.

AFTERNOON DRESS. See AFTERNOON DRESS—WOMEN.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL) —WOMEN. AFTERNOON TEAS (INFORMAL)—WOMEN.

BACHELORS’ DINNERS. See BACHELORS’ DINNERS—WOMEN.

BACHELORS’ TEAS. See BACHELORS’ TEAS—WOMEN.

BALLS. See BALLS—WOMEN.

BOWING. See BOWING—WOMEN.

BREAKFASTS. See BREAKFASTS—WOMEN.

CALLS. See CALLS—WOMEN.

CARDS. See CARDS (VISITING)—WOMEN.

CHAPERONE. See CHAPERONE.

CHRISTENINGS. See CHRISTENINGS—WOMEN.

CONCLUSION OF LETTERS. See Conclusion of a Letter—Women.

COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS. See Cotillions by Subscriptions—Women.

DANCES. See Dances—Women.

DANCING. See Dancing—Women.

DINNERS. See Dinners—Women.

DRESS. See Dress—Women.

DRIVING. See Driving—Women.

ENGAGEMENT. See Engagement—Women.

EVENING DRESS. See Evening Dress—Women.

FUNERALS. See Funerals—Women.

GARDEN PARTIES. See Garden Parties—Women.

GLOVES. See Gloves—Women.

HIGH TEA. See High Tea—Women.

HOUSE PARTIES. See House Parties—Women.

INTRODUCTIONS. See Introductions—Women.

INVITATIONS. See Invitations—Women.

LETTERS. See fetters-Women.

LUNCHEONS. See Luncheons—Women.

MORNING DRESS. See Morning Dress—Women.

MOURNING. See Mourning—Women.

MOURNING CARDS. See Mourning Cards—

Women.

NEW ACQUAINTANCE. See New Acquaintances—

Women.

NEWCOMERS. See Newcomers—Residents’ Duty to Women.

RIDING. See Riding—Women.

SALUTATIONS. See Salutations—Women.

SHAKING HANDS. See Shaking Hands—Women.

STATIONERY. See Stationery—Women.

STREET-CARS. See Street-cars—Women.

STREET ETIQUETTE. See Street Etiquette—

Women.

THEATRE PARTIES. See Theatre Parties—

Women.

TITLES. See Titles—Women.

TRAVELING. See Traveling—Women.

WEDDINGS. See Weddings—Women.

WRITTEN CARDS are in bad taste, but in case of necessity may be used. The name should be written in full if not too long, and should be the autograph of the sender.

YOUNGER SON. See Son (Younger).

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