How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You by Leil Lowndes (knowledgeable books to read TXT) 📗

Gentlemen, suppose you have just been introduced to an attractive young divorcée. In early conversation, she talks about her child, or maybe she sayskid, infant, toddler, tot, or youngster . Probably everyone in her family uses the same word, so, when talk ing with her, use whatever word sheuses to refer to the little tyke. When you echo her word, she subliminally feels a closeness to you—like you're already part of her family.

My doctor is a young mother. During one of our early conversations, she mentioned her newborn. I knew the meaning of newborn, but it's not a word I use every day. In fact, I don't remember ever using the word newborn in conversation. But I asked her, ' Who looks after your newborn while you're working?'' She smiled at me. I sensed the warmth and connection she felt with me when I used her word, newborn.

Ladies, say you are at a party chatting with a man.

He's talking about his job, his profession, his assignment, or his commission. Be sure to use his word for his work. For example, if he were a lawyer, he'd have said profession . If you said job, he might be put off. Whereas if the handsome stranger you were talking to were a construction worker, he'd think you were being hoity-toity if you said profession .

Various Quarry even use different words for the place they go to work. Lawyers say they go to the firm, broadcasters say station , architects say office , and publishing people talk about their

publishinghouse. Echoing is crucial when you are discussing someone's job or main interest because using the wrong word can blatantly label you an outsider, a know-nothing in his or her world. People instinctively tune out someone who has little understanding of their life. Since your words reveal how much you know about their world, don't inadvertently use the wrong ones.

Booking and gigboth mean a work engagement.

Gentlemen, if you are talking with a fashion model, you'd better say book -

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ingif you want to keep the beautiful woman's interest.

Ladies, if you're talking with a young pop musician, you'd better saygig, or the dude will think you're pretty lame. If you use just one wrong word, you've struck a sour note.

Remember myPMF (platonic male friend), Phil?

Once we were at a party. He was standing nearby, and I overheard him chatting with an attractive actress. She was excitedly describing a new play she had just been cast in. I heard her tell Phil that she was really enjoying the rehearsals. It also sounded like she was really enjoying her conversation with Phil.

"Oh," Phil piped up. "How often do youpractice ?" Whoops! Having some friends in the theater, I knew how that one would land. That was the last

question the pretty actress stayed around for. The word isrehearse , friend, notpractice .

TECHNIQUE #25:

ECHOING

Early in a budding relationship, you don't know enough about your Quarry to invoke his values, her attitudes, or

his interests. But you can hint that you feel just like your Quarry does. Simply listen carefully to the seemingly arbitrary choice of words and echo them back.

It's arbitrary. Naturally, actresses practice before the show opens, but stage performers never use that word.

They sayrehearse. If Phil knew so little about her world as to saypractice, how interesting could he be to that actress?

Not ten minutes later, Phil struck again, this time in a group conversation. A gorgeous Suzie Chaffee lookalike was boasting that she had just bought a wonderful ski chalet in the mountains. "Great," said Phil. "Where is your cabin?"

Her smile collapsed along with her opinion of Phil.

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Dumbfounded, I couldn't resist later asking my buddy,

"Phil, why did you insult her by calling her chalet a cabin?"

"What do you mean?" asked Phil, genuinely confused.C"abinis a lovely word. My family has a beautiful cabin on Cape Cod, and cabin holds marvelous associations for me." OK, Phil, but the shapely skier obviously didn't like that word. (Or Phil either, now. )

A new relationship is a budding flower. Uttering one wrong word can crush the little seedling before it ever has a chance to grow.

"We Even Speak the Same (Body) Language"

America the Beautiful is all the more so due to our cultural diversity. Happily, most people don't speak comfortably of class or social status, but we have an undeniable richness and a variety of cultural backgrounds unknown anywhere else in the world.

Americans don't advertise their class and money on their forehead like a high-caste Hindu woman's jewel, but someone's background usually becomes evident after just a few minutes of talking. People with a different upbringing, of course, speak differently and dress differently. Were you aware that they also move differently?

While traveling around the country giving talks, I occasionally cross paths with a woman named Genie Polo Sayles. Genie is a dynamic brunette who does a scandalously charming seminar called "How to Marry the Rich." (God bless our freedom of speech!) Genie tells this story. Once a TV crew followed her to a Las Vegas casino for an interview. The reporter grilled her on how to tell if someone was rich. "Oh, you just know," she countered confidently.

"OK," the reporter challenged. "Pick out the richest man in the casino."

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Keenly and swiftly, Genie's sharp eyes skimmed the tables. Her scanning gaze came to an abrupt halt on a young man in jeans and an old plaid shirt. With the instinct and precision of a hunting dog, she pointed a long red fingernail directly at him and anno unced,

"He's very rich."

The reporter, gasping in disbelief, interrogated her,

"How can you tell?" "He moves like old money,"

Genie announced.

Yes, Hunters and Huntresses, there is moving likeoldmoney, moving likenewmoney, and moving like nomoney. To capture the heart of the Quarry of your choice, move like his or her class.

I actually became aware that people from various walks of life move in different ways when I was in college. My room-mate was a television junkie, and the constantly yammering box drove me to distraction. Out of