She is the one by Asheslove (that summer book .TXT) 📗

Maybe never, I have his blood on my hands and I will not be able to wash this in my whole life. I was foolish to think that I escaped them. These are written in the book of my life for forever. 

Then tear these pages and burn them.

I can't. I have already tried my best but I can't. My guilt will not let me and there is no way I will ever be able to forgave myself for killing him and erase this remorse. 

Whatever happened was past, you can leave your past behind yourself but your past never leaves you, it always finds you at some point and look it found me, again.

Then are you going to stay here with that devil, don't you want to go back to your family.

No, I don't. Everyone pay for their deeds maybe I am paying for mine for brutally taking a life and what will I do by going back to them? again involve them in my misery because of which I left them?

So what, you gave up from yourself then go submit to him.

No. How can I. How can I submit to him, how can I forgive the man who put me through hell, who cause me pain who is responsible for every worst thing happening to me.

Then find yourself a hope again. Since when you started to accept defeat and become this pathetic or what, you want to stay here in this place and let him win. You don't want to go back to your family but what about them, aren't they waiting for their daughter, who will think about them.

Time can be hard and it is for you El but having you and Alex is the greatest and most precious gifts for me and your mom in our life. After whatever happened we still have you, broken, in pain, in suffering we have you so never in your life thought that we don’t want you or didn’t deserve you, whatever happen doesn’t matter. You have your right on yourself and if what you think you can’t change that then its fine but never think of taking our daughter away from us. We always want you and accept you even in your worst. Like we are everything to you, you are also our whole world. There is always a hope, a light in darkness you just have to find it, if you can’t for yourself then for us but you have to find it Elena. Please, for me, for your mom and for Alex you have to move pass this.

Dad's words echoed in my head.

I want to hear my dad, I want to hear my mom, I want to talk to them. This time I am like drowning in the sea and there no shore visible to me. 

Hope, from where will I get hope in this world full of darkness.

'Sky is beautiful isn't it? All clear'.

I turned my head and saw Leonardo standing there with smile on his face.

I ignored him and looked away in opposite direction.

He sat near me and hovered forward, with his elbows on his knees he tied both the fingers of his hands together and looked at me.

'Are you ignoring me?' he questioned.

I kept my head aside not wanting to saw his face.

'So you are angry at me.' He said again but my gaze fixed at the clear blue sky.

'Huuu' he sighed. 

'OK, get it. If you are angry because I didn’t helped you then I am sorry for that Elena' he said softly.

Tears flooded in my eyes on hearing his words threatening to fall but I don't let them fall and greeted my teeth.

Sorry. Is this word will change everything? These people waken up my haunted and buried past which they don't know even exist. 

Sorry, he don't even knew they had brought my memories back by killing Simon in front of me, he don't know I wasn't able sleep from last five nights due to my fear, he don't know every time I am closing my eyes all I saw is blood on all over me and around me, he don't know how disgusting I am feeling because I let his brother rape me and he's saying sorry.

Nothing would have happened if he had stopped Nicolas then shooting Simon, if he would have stopped him then I am not feeling soulless, empty, lost and deprived to do anything from inside, trying to hide and face my fear alone in this darkness.

'Aren't you going to forgave me Elena’?

I felt the frustration and anger building inside me on hearing his words and soft tone, which I was trying to control but before I could manage to hold it anymore my head snapped at him, tears burning my eyes to fall. His eyes tender but mine full of anger and fire. Piercing him from my rage I seethed

'Remember when I first saw you Leonardo after your introduction what you said'. 'That if I need any help I can ask you and what I said in return when you denied helping me to get back' I paused before saying again with much more aggression than before.

'That don't say the things that you fucking doesn't mean' I ranted at him. 

'Shove your sorry in your pant pocket and don't show this sympathy of you in front of me when you fucking didn't helped me when I asked you' venom dripping from my each word when I shouted at him with full rage.

He sighed and untied his finger 

'I am truly sorry Elena that I didn't help you. I know Nicolas and believe me if I meddled in between then things maybe would have gone worst then they did.' He said politely putting his hand on my shoulder which I slapped away in anger.

A dry chuckle left my lips, 'like what happened was actually great' I said sarcastically.

'I don't want your shitty explanation Leo and neither I want your sorry, I never asked anything from you people but still I am suffering. I am not forgiving any of you for making my life a living nightmare so get your ass and leave me alone in this fucking cage of your brother until he will return back and fuck me' I seethed glaring holes in him without even thinking.

'You're scary when you are angry Elena’. I heard him saying from cocked eyebrows releasing a sharp breath.

He scratched his head and after few seconds said again 

'OK fine, I didn’t help you then, so it's on me now. Tell me what I have to do to earn your forgiveness back'.