She is the one by Asheslove (that summer book .TXT) 📗

‘Elena’

My dad shouted when he saw me walking on the broken pieces of glass on the floor which were sinking in my bare soles of feet but I truly didn’t care. I threw all the pillows away from the sofa and kicked the wooden table on the side of the room. 

'Elena, noooo. Stop, stop sweety’ I heard my mom’s broken panicked voice who I don’t know came from where because she had gone out. But I didn’t stop and kept throwing things away until the crying voice of my little brother came to my ears. My hands freeze in air and my eyes fall on my mother standing at the doorway holding my brother in her arms who was crying, tears were rolling down her cheeks as she was looking at me painfully. My dad took the opportunity and running towards me he hold me roughly from my arms to control me from doing anything further.

'OK, it's you who did everything. Ok, it’s you. I am not denying it anymore but calm down, calm down'. My rage slowly turned down when I heard him saying this and I fall on the floor in his hold and broke into tears when I realized what I did. Without saying a word with flowing tears my mom left us and went inside.

‘I am sorry dad, I am sorry’ I cried softly putting my head on his shoulder, holding his arm with both my hands which was around my neck. ‘I am sorry for scaring you all, I am so sorry’ I kept saying weeping furiously.

‘No, its fine, it's fine, everything is fine’ he said to console me, his voice completely broken and tears were floating in his eyes but he didn’t let them fall down. 

‘I hate myself dad, I hate myself for causing pain to all of you, I am not that Elena I used to be anymore. I am not’.

‘Mom was crying again because of me dad’ I whispered in his arms hiding my face in his shoulder feeling awful of making her cry. 

‘No, she was crying because she knew you are in pain. We love you and we can’t see you in pain like this’ he said softly patting my back lightly. 

'I am sorry dad I become so violent again but I can’t help myself. Whenever you people said I did nothing wrong I lost control over me. I can’t shake that image of mine dad when I killed him. I killed him and there is no justification and reasoning can change that. No reason, no excuse can erase this guilt from me of taking his life’ I said sniffing. 

‘Hu, you are right, it was you who killed him, it was you’ he said in a very low voice from his heavy breaths because he knew that the regret of killing someone is settled deep inside my soul and it will never allow me to accept what I did was not wrong. 

'But you did that to save her, didn't you? You seen her Elena, do you think that bastard deserved to stay alive after what he did’ my dad said softly trying to explain me again but with different perspective. 

‘Of course not dad, I never said that he deserves to live, his sin was beyond redemption but still it doesn’t give me the right to kill someone and about saving her’ I paused and turning my head towards him looked in his eyes from my tears 

'Did I succeed in saving her, did I dad? Instead it was her who saved me taking the blow which was meant to hit me and after that when she was lying clutching her bloodied stomach groaning in pain what I was doing’  and I paused remembering that image. 

‘Elena, don’t' my dad said and cupped my face in both his palms 'don’t think about that again’. 

'She was almost dead when you arrived there dad’ I whispered and again broke into new set of tears. 

‘What you did was not easy to do Elena, without caring about yourself and the danger ahead, you went to save her. Tell me why?’ 

‘My heart ached dad when I saw her, it shattered into millions of pieces when I heard her screaming in pain. I feel her pain in me and believe me it was too painful. I got one hit and felt like someone burnt my whole body then think how she took them'.

‘And this is what my daughter is, who feels pain in others pain. You didn’t wait for anyone when you saw her suffering and without caring about yourself you went to save her even knowing it was dangerous for you. What you did was not easy to do and I am proud of you Elena. You are brave; brave than even your father who is a cop. It was because of you that we were able to save her but I am sorry’ he paused and took a long deep breath. ‘I am sorry that I didn’t reach there on time, I am sorry I didn't receive your call, I am sorry Elena. If I would have reached there before everything went out of control then you wouldn't be suffering like this because of killing someone'  'But now you have to move past from it El’ he said softly brushing my hairs. 

‘I myself am too tired from this dad, I truly want to move on but I can’t. My memories kept haunting me, they kept making me remember of that day, about what I did’ ‘every time, every single time I close my eyes that face of mine appears in front of them. My hands turn in red, my cloths, my face, everything; I got completely drench in his blood. How can I forget that horrible side of me, it kept resurfacing again and again making me scared of myself? I am not monster dad, I am not and I dont want to be one. The more I tried to face this fear the more it drags me away. Negative voices keep ringing around me; my nightmares won’t let me sleep the whole night. He is dead but his face covered in blood kept appearing in my nights, it keep haunting me. My heart and soul won’t let me forgave myself for taking his life, they won’t’ saying this I wept badly. 

My mom came and sat near us. Dad released me from his hold and looked at my mom. My heart wailed when I saw both my parents looking at me, their eyes tender holding, affection, worry, fear and pain for my pain. 

‘I am sorry mom, I am sorry for making you and Alex cry because of me’ I whispered and embraced her tightly. 

“Alex” my dad said looking at my mom with questioning eyes asking for my brother. ‘I put him to sleep” she said softly, her hands rubbing my back soothingly.