Ex-Wife by Mirah Selim (interesting books to read in english .txt) 📗

Chp-38

Author Pov

Sleep. It was nowhere around her. Her eyes were fixed on the man laid beside her. Their faces were inches away as Xander was holding her against him tightly.

Even in his sleep, his one arm was securely wrapped around her waist holding her firmly beside him. It was almost like he was afraid that she will fade away. His face had no ounce of peace. He looked tense. And bothered.

Peace. It wasn't near her as well. She couldn't help but think about the things he told her about his past. It was too much to take in one go. It wasn't just his past. It was the biggest scar of his life that has been going up to his future as well.

Forget. He can't and it's obvious. His mind would never let him forget the sin he committed. And Amelia knew. She knew that no matter how much she tries she can't make him forget that sinful act of his in past.

Mia. Her eyes got teary remembering the life of that innocent girl. How much she had suffered. She was just 18 years old and that man mercilessly used her.

Yes used her. You can't name his actions as love. He was never in love with her. It was an infatuation. He was infatuated with that innocent young girl and when that limited attraction got fulfilled he did what only an infatuation can lead to.

Left. He left her being a coward of a century. He proved to her how weak his love was. He didn't fight for her love. Yes, Xander was responsible for their break-up and his hatred towards Mia but he wasn't the one who forced him to run away.

Played. Yes, that's what he did to that gullible girl. He played her. He used her. He fulfilled his every desire but when he realized that he was leaving his family. His son and his wife for the timely affair made him realized many things.

Wife. Amelia's face grimaced at the thought of that woman knowing everything and still forgiving him. Did she know what he had done to Mia? Did she know how he was planning to abandon her and their son? Did she know what kind of a despicable man her husband is? Did she.

Disgust. That's the thing Amelia felt thinking about the possibilities of that woman knowing everything and still accepting that man.

Yes, she felt the same disgust for Xander when he told her about what he had done to Mia. And for a second she considered his love as an obsession. She didn't want to but her mind was naming his love as an obsession only.

But after his revelation of doing so much for Mia. Even leaving his soul on the edge of being hurt again and again he still did everything for her. He didn't care about Alexander's not being his son instead till now he's holding Alexander close like his life depends on that Lil guy.

At first, Amelia thought that because of Xander's cold personality he has been quite distant from Alexander. But now she knew why he was trying not to show many emotions to his son.

Guilt. That was the sole reason he was trying not to show himself in front of Alexander. He was afraid of breaking down seeing a replica of his late wife. The same wife that left him in nothing but regrets.

She had seen Xander peeking at Alexander every time he got a chance. The small smiles. The genuine one that has always been because of that Lil guy. Xander loves Alexander like his own son. But he's afraid of losing him as well.

He's afraid of witnessing his son's accusing eyes. He's afraid of the questions he might ask about his mother. He's afraid of being held as a culprit in front of the kid that he calls his son.

He's afraid of his son getting to know that he's not his biological father. And he's the reason why his biological father doesn't know about him.

Amelia felt a tear escaping her eyes as she placed a hand on his cheek with her eyes moving all over his tensed face. He flinched slightly at her touch before pulling her closer and snuggling in her crook more.

Amelia wiped her tear away and wrapped her arms around him. All of the things he did or happened had been in his past now.

She had seen the real Xander in these 11 months of their marriage. She had seen what a humble yet scary man he is.

He is dominant. He is possessive. He is controlling sometimes. He is annoying sometimes. He is clingy as well. But all of these things showed only his care yet possessive affection towards her.

No one's perfect. She knew and she never asked for Xander to be a prince charming for her. She liked him the way he is. She liked him being imperfect. She liked him being what he is.

She didn't care about his past before he told her everything and she didn't care even after knowing all of these. We make mistakes. Yes, we do but repentance is above everything.

He sinned. He regretted. He apologized.  He redeemed himself. He earned forgiveness. He even loved her more than himself. But something that scared her was.

Love. His eyes were begging to feel love. He was desperately wanted to be loved by Mia. No. He just wanted to be loved. His father's affection he craved for years. But the love a partner can give is something every soul begs for.

But can she. Amelia was in a huge dilemma after witnessing how his heart was begging to be loved. A giant man was so vulnerable while weeping in her arms. Only to feel a little bit of love.

Her arms tighten on his body as she was afraid. She was afraid of what if she wouldn't be able to give him the love he deserves just like Mia. He deserves more than just being liked.

He deserves to be loved like crazy. But can she. Can she love him? Can she forget the man she loved for years and hold this man's hand? Let him own her Heart.

She wants to move on and she knew the time will eventually help her. But moving on and loving someone are different things. She was afraid of putting him in the same position again.

The man already had enough. Should she love him out of pity? No. She can't and she wouldn't. She hates the love given because of pity. You can't love someone out of pity.

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