How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #1) - DeYtH Banger (latest ebook reader .txt) 📗

before you broke your leg, looking back was it good or bad that you broke your leg? Well, if you’re happier, of course you would say that “it’s good that I broke my leg. It was good for my life.”

In the moment that we break our leg, if we label it “bad”, it’s because we’re ignoring all of the possible future effects that could be helpful in our life. We’re saying “it IS bad”, but how could we possible know what all of the effects are? Is it possible this will lead to more happiness?

In the midst of a panic attack, we’re labeling the sensation “bad” saying, “This will have a bad impact on my life. It’s bad that it’s happening.” And it really, really seems that way. I get that. But, it’s possible ask yourself, “Do I know that this feeling is bad for my life? Is it possible that it will lead to more happiness in my life? Is it possible that this will go and I’ll be happy again? How do I know that it’s bad?”

If we can see that we don’t know whether this feeling is bad or good for our life, then all of a sudden the panic attack relaxes a little bit because we don’t know that it’s bad to be feeling it. Or the feeling persists, the sensations persists, but yet we can be in peace in the midst of the sensations.



4) When you think a panic attack signifies something about you, the panic attack strengthens

The fourth reason that a panic attack gets stronger once we start experiencing it is because we think that it means something about us. When we have a panic attack, we may think it means that we’re stupid, that there’s something wrong with us, that we’re not making progress, or that we’re never going to get better. Right?

All of these thoughts just make us feel worse. But how do you know that your panic attack means on these things about you?

Imagine that you are sitting in your room, then you look out of your window, and immediately see a car accident. Would you think that it was bad that there was a car accident? Probably. But, would you feel ashamed about the car accident? No, of course not. Why not? Simply because you don’t blame yourself for the car accident. And why don’t you blame yourself for the car accident? Because you didn’t control the factors that determined whether there was a car accident. What this demonstrates is that a “bad” situation only means something about you if you control it and are to blame for it.

Therefore, when we say that our panic attack means something about us, we’re actually saying, “My panic attack signifies something about me because I control whether I have panic attacks or not, and I am to blame for my panic attack.” But are you to blame for your panic attacks?

Action step: Discover that you are not to blame for your panic attacks and you will no longer feel ashamed about them

Are you to blame for your panic attack? Look. Panic attacks are created by thoughts. Do you control the thoughts that arise in you mind? Take a look for yourself right now. Be curious and ask yourself “I wonder, what’s the next thought to pop up in my head?” Do you know what the next thought will be? When you see the next thought that pops up in your head, ask yourself “Did I pick that? Did I put it there? Do I want to be happy or sad? Happy or stressed?” Well, of course you want to be happy. If you wanted to be happy, and you controlled what thoughts arise in your mind, wouldn’t you only choose to think positive thoughts? Yes, of course! If we controlled our thoughts, we would only choose happy thoughts, positive thoughts.

But, clearly that’s not the case. We constantly think negatively. Everybody, not just you. Everybody thinks negatively because they don’t control their thoughts. They don’t pick which thoughts come up in their minds, and they don’t pick which thoughts go. Just recognize that you don’t control the thoughts that arise in your mind. You don’t control them.

Therefore, when negative thoughts pop up and create this panic attack, it’s not your fault. You’re not to blame for it. It doesn’t mean anything about you. Really, it doesn’t. I’m not just saying that. If we don’t control the thoughts that arise in our minds, then we don’t control the feeling that those thoughts create. And if we don’t control the feeling, then we’re not to blame for it. If we’re not to blame for the feeling of panic attack, then it doesn’t mean we’re weak, stupid, wrong, bad or any of that. It just popped up.

The other thought we have about panic attacks is that it means we’re not making progress or that it’s always going to be this way. But do you know that’s true? Is it possible that tomorrow you’ll be in peace and that you’ll never have another panic attack? Is it possible that this panic attack will teach you a lesson that helps yourself or others? We don’t know any of that.

When it starts to rain, you just take it. You didn’t control whether it rained or not, so it doesn’t mean anything about you. Same thing with a panic attack. It just arises. Okay. It will come. It will go. It always goes, right? It always goes. So, let it run its course. There’s nothing you can do. You’re not to blame for it.



5) Worrying about what others think about your panic attack strengthens your panic attack

The 5th reason that a panic attack strengthens once we have it is because we become worried about what other people think. We’re worried that the people around us will think we’re crazy or something. But if you got hit by a car and broke your leg, would you worry about what other people think about your broken leg? Or if you had cancer, would you worry that they think you’re crazy for having cancer? No, you likely wouldn’t worry about what people think in either of these situations.

The reason why is because you know you’re not to blame for either of these feelings in your body. You know that neither of these ailments to your body signifies anything about you. You’re not at fault for cancer. You’re not at fault for a broken leg. So that’s why you don’t worry about what people think.

But the same is true with a panic attack. It doesn’t mean anything about you as we just saw. You don’t control the thoughts that come. You don’t control the feelings that are created by these thoughts. So if people judge you for it, okay. It doesn’t mean anything about you. They’re just misinformed. They’re just confused. They just don’t know any better. It’s okay.



An overview of how to stop a panic attack

Let’s run through some of the important points from this blog post about how to stop a panic attack. When a panic attack comes, don’t try to stop it. That just strengthens it. If you believe that a situation is bad and can harm you, don’t try to convince yourself “This situation isn’t bad and this situation won’t hurt me”. That just creates a battle in your head. The feelings of a panic attack aren’t bad, and don’t mean you can’t be in peace. You can be in peace with tension in your chest just as you can be with a stomach ache. The feelings of a panic attack don’t mean anything about you. When you worry about what other people think, recognize that you are not to blame for the panic attack, and it has nothing to do with you.

Overall, how to stop a panic attack? Let it be there. Allow it to be there. Just notice the sensations. Be aware of them. Allow the thoughts to come and to go. Don’t try to change it. And then watch what happens. It will either dissolve on its own without you trying to stop it or you can be relaxed in the midst of the body feeling tense.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To Overcome Fear Easily – By Addressing The Cause

In order to overcome fear, we first must understand what causes it

Hello, my name is Noah Elkrief. And in this video I’m going to talk about how to overcome fear. But, before we get into how to overcome fear, how to deal with fear, how to lose fear, let’s first look at what causes fear, because it’s very important to see what’s creating your fear in order to see how to lose it or overcome it.

An exercise to see that thoughts create fear, and not facts

First, take a moment to think about what outcome you’re afraid of. Whether you’re afraid of failing at something, or you’re afraid of something happening to you, take a moment to think about it. I want you to close your eyes and really imagine it. Please take a moment to do that now. When you imagine this outcome, when you think about it, how do you feel? Well you feel afraid, you feel fear, you feel pounding in your heart or tension in your chest or pressure in your chest, something along those lines. Or maybe you feel something in your stomach, right, you feel butterflies, something along those lines.

A moment ago, you probably didn’t have those sensations of fear. And as soon as you start thinking about it, fear is created. If as soon as you start thinking, a feeling is created, the feeling must be the result of thinking, right? There’s nothing factually happening to you right now to create fear. If you look around the room, almost certainly there is nothing factually to create fear. You may think something might happen, but if nothing is happening now, fear can’t be created by anything happening, anything factual, anything in reality. It can only be created by thoughts.

Fear must be created by thoughts because any distraction dissolves fear

Another way to see that your fear is not the result of a fact, but only the result of a thought, is by simply looking – if a situation created fear, then you couldn’t escape it simply by distracting yourself from thoughts. But yet, no matter what situation you’re in, if there’s fear, if you distract yourself from thoughts – either you get your favorite food or you start talking to someone else or you start thinking about something else for a moment or you turn on the TV, or something, you can be distracted from that fear and you forget all about it, right? It may be harder in some situation than others, but if at any moment, you experience how distracting yourself from thoughts gets rid of fear, then you know it’s only thoughts that’s creating that fear.

Fear isn’t just created by thoughts, it is created by believing thoughts

Now that we see that fear is a result of thoughts, let’s put it a little differently, okay? Fear is not just the result of thoughts, fear is the result of believing thoughts to be true. If you’re sitting down and somebody approaches you and says, “The world is going to end tomorrow,” and you believe them, how do you feel? Well you feel afraid, fearful perhaps. But if this person walks up to you and says, “The world is going to end tomorrow,” but they don’t seem like a credible source of information on that subject, so you just don’t believe what they say, then how do you feel? Well, you feel nothing. If you don’t believe what they say, you don’t feel anything. What that shows you is, when you believe somebody’s words to be true, they create emotions. When you believe that a bad outcome is happening tomorrow, the words that a bad outcome is happening tomorrow, you feel fear. But when you don’t believe those same exact