How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #3) - DeYtH Banger (bts book recommendations TXT) 📗

loving care of yourself, others will stop using the silent treatment since it will no longer work for them.

 

 

 

Note: UGHAAA

 

 

 

7 Easy-To-Fix Texting Mistakes WAY Too Many Women Make

 

 

 

Bonus: How to keep the conversation going (and get a date!).

 

Do you struggle with how to start conversations on dating apps or online dating?

 

This isn’t brain surgery, yet so many singles find it hard to create a fun exchange.

 

No matter what your age is,  texting can be a fun introduction to someone new — if you know how to do it.

One of my clients always started texting by asking about a man’s job, how his week was going, or where he grew up.

These uninspired openers didn’t do much to get the conversation going. These types of questions are not engaging, won’t get a man’s attention and often result in one-word answers.

If you want more men to respond, be attracted, and to inspire your conversation to go beyond a few texts to actually get a date, you need to spice up your game.

 

 

If you find your texts leave you with sporadic texting that trails off, no dates and terribly frustrated, you're probably making some serious texting mistakes. 

 

Here are some of the most common texting mistakes women make (and how to do better next time!):

1. You attempt to "qualify" a man via text.

 

The point of texting is to create a fun exchange that makes the man want to meet you.

That will NEVER happen if you try to vet him through your initial texts.

Don’t ask him where he went to school, what kind of job he has or where he lives. That’s not entertaining.

Stop investigating, and instead have a little fun. Be curious about him and find out how he spends his free time.

When you keep it light and fun, you’ll entice a man to want to know more about you, talk on the phone and then meet.

 

2. You text brief or one-word answers back to him or ask him questions that are too simple.

 

If you want to get a conversation going, you need to engage the other person.

Your short greetings or responses won’t cut it.

Take the question, “How’s your week going?” for example. What can he say but “good”? That kind of inquiry doesn’t lead anywhere.

It also helps to finish your response to him by asking another question.

Make it easy for the guy to keep chatting, because he might not know what to text either.

 

 

3. You lead with generic greetings.

 

 

Don’t start a texting chain with “What’s up?” You end up sounding unimaginative and just like everybody else.

Push yourself to come up with something different or interesting.

With online dating, you can ask a question from something in his profile.

 

On the apps, be sure to look at all the photos for each guy — there maybe one showing an activity or a funny face he made that you can ask about.

 

4. Your questions are totally uninspired. 

 

If you want to have fun exchanges, don’t talk about work. You can ask, but don’t start there or linger long.

Get to more fun topics like what’s his favorite food or pizza, or what is he watching on TV.

What does he like to read? What’s his favorite movie or the last movie he saw? What kind of music does he listen to? Ask about his hobbies or how he spends his free time.

These are texts that can start a conversation!

 

5. You don't let your sense of humor shine. 

 

 

Please lighten up and stop being so serious.

Even though everyone might not be funny, a good sense of humor goes a long way with texting. If you can be clever or quick-witted, use that to your advantage.

When you are entertaining, he’ll naturally want to know more about you.

 

6. You ask awkward questions that prompt awkward answers (or none at all).

 

Do not ask him about his weekend plans.

If he's got plans with other women, either he’ll be vague or things could become really awkward.

Neither of you is interested in hearing him explain what he’s doing on dates with other women.

 

7. You use the same opening line on every single man. 

 

There is no “one size fits all” texting solution.

Be creative, and whenever possible tailor your message to something specific about the man who caught your attention.

This is how you’ll stand out from other women he may be texting, or has been texting in the past. 

Here are some tips for good texting:

Try a compliment. You can mention eyes, biceps or clothing to stay in the safe zone. A little flattery is fun and flirty.
  Comment or ask a question about a photo showing an activity. That’s a great way to get a conversation going, because you’ll be asking about something he enjoys.
  If he is a Baby Boomer, you can always fall back on classic choices. For example “Coke or Pepsi?” “Beatles or Rolling Stones?” “Deep dish or NY style pizza?” “Mountains or Ocean?”
  Teasing is an old high school flirting trick that works at any age. You can always respond with something like, “Aw, I bet you say that to all the women.” Or “Stop making me think about you, I’m busy.” Use emoticons when teasing like a wink so he knows you’re kidding.
  Keep it short for the best chance of getting a response.

 

 

Stop texting when the man makes no effort!

 

Last but not least, if you’re texting with a guy who responds with one-word answers and never asks any questions, recognize that’s a sign.

He’s letting you know he’s not into you or he’s lazy. Either way, why keep texting him?

Many of my clients want to know how to keep the texting going, but I don’t advise that.

The only reason you’re texting is because you hope to meet him and go on a date.

 

After a few exchanges, drop a guy who doesn’t make any effort.

 

After seven days, if he hasn't asked to meet, you can ask him. If he puts you off or makes excuses, block him and move on if you are serious about finding love.

 

Why waste time texting a man who isn’t hot to meet you? Getting to the face-to-face date is what you are after — and what you deserve!

 

 

If He Blocked You On Facebook, Block Him From Your Life

 

 

 

It's so hard to let go, but you have no other choice.

The following letter was sent in by a reader despairing over her recent breakup:

 

I want to know if it's time to move on and/or how to prevent myself from "stalking" someone on social media ...

About 2 months ago I had an argument with my boyfriend about him deleting me from some of his social media and always being negative toward me. I decided to tell him I think it's best we go our own ways for a while, and he just answered, "OK, if you say so." When I tried texting him the next day there was no reply.

 

Then I received a message a week later from a girl asking me questions about whether or not I was still in a relationship with him. It was so strange and made me feel really nervous. I asked why she wanted to know, and she said he'd been trying to talk to another girl she knows.

 

I called him right away and asked what was going on. He admitted he'd always wanted to talk to this new girl, and that the feelings he'd felt for me were dead. He got angry with me and wanted me to reply back to the girl, but I wouldn't do it. As soon he left he blocked me from everything, and I haven't talked to him since.

The next week he was seen driving a new girl around in his truck and my friends asked him about it, but he denied she was his girlfriend. 

 

He hasn't posted any pictures with a new girl, but do you think they are talking?

I haven't seen anything and he has me blocked from everything and won't communicate with me. Do you think he's really moved on and they're just keeping their relationship private?

 

The sad thing about me is that I know all the mistakes he made in the way he treated me, but I can't forget him. What hurt me the most is that he promised to never leave me no matter what, and that he would love me no matter what, and then for him to just leave and talk to someone new ...

— V

 

Dear V,

 

When your ex promised to never leave you and to love you no matter what, he may have meant it in that moment. But people and relationshipschange. Those words were said when he was a different person, under different circumstances.     

After a breakup, it’s understandable for you to be consumed by what’s going on with him and this new girl. But none of that matters, because focusing on things that are out of your control takes your attention away from what really matters ...     

 

A guy who really cares about you doesn’t treat you poorly.  

 

He isn’t negative towards you, won’t let you go so easily, doesn’t go after another girl so soon, and doesn’t tell you his feelings for you are dead.

 

As Maya Angelou said, “When people show you who they are, believe them.”  

 

His words, actions, and behaviors are showing you he has moved on.   

So yes, it’s time for you to move on — but not only because he’s moved on. You should move on so you don’t continue to devalue yourself, and in the process, lose your self-worth. You’ll want to cut all ties to him, especially on social media, so you’re not tempted to look at what he’s doing. You should know you deserve to be with a high-quality guy — one who treats you well, thinks highly of you, and is respectful towards you.    

 

Before getting back out there and finding someone else again, take some time for yourself. Don’t make the mistake like so many do to spite their ex by getting into a rebound relationship or having casual sex to feel better about themselves. Nothing great comes from a rebound, and that feel good moment only lasts for a short time before the emptiness sets in.  

Instead, prepare yourself for amazing love by letting go of the negative energy from this breakup and resolving baggage from past relationships.  

 

To know what your baggage is, look at unhealthy habits and patterns that repeat themselves in your interactions with guys and in your relationships. For instance, if guys you’ve been with tend to treat you poorly, what is it that you’re doing or how are you being that attracts them to you? Based on the answers, do the inner work to change that.     

  

Also, take good care of yourself by doing things that soothe your soul. Spend time with people who care for you. Be in places that uplift you. Try new activities and things you’ve been wanting to do.

 

Find your happiness within. In doing so, you’ll be cultivating conditions that will inspire better men to show up.  

If you find yourself thinking about your ex and feeling sad, it’s okay. It’s understandable to feel the way you do since there were good moments you shared. If you’re wishing you could be back together, chances are you’re basing that on only the good times you had. In those instances, gently nudge your attention back to the present and you’ll notice that things are actually okay. The more time you spend in the present moment, the more your sad feelings will dissipate.

 

If you start thinking, “If only I had done more ____________ or been more ______________," be kind to yourself.  

 

You would never purposely choose to do things in a worse way. You’ve been doing the best you can, based on where you’re at, what you’re meant to learn, and the growth you’re meant to experience. What he did isn’t a reflection of who you are. It’s a reflection of who he is and the path he’s meant to take.

 

It’s true that time heals and helps you see the reality of your situation. By letting go, you give yourself the space for clarity, which helps you see things for what they are — not what you want them to be.  

 

Have the courage and strength to move on.  

 

This breakup is happening for your greater good. When you stay open to the lessons that come from this breakup, you learn and grow into your best self. This breakup has revealed the love you had is no longer meant to be.

 

The best thing you can do to honor what you