How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #3) - DeYtH Banger (bts book recommendations TXT) 📗
- Author: DeYtH Banger
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My caste status in high school (lunchtime darkroom-dweller) had stuck with me internally, and despite developing into a conventionally attractive girl, it was evident in how I carried myself that confidence was still in short supply.
Of course, it was fun to fantasize about making a grand a night and embodying the languid sex appeal that the pros had, but at this time my main focus was squarely on making it through my shift and avoiding eviction.
ZEN AND THE ART OF GETTING YOUR TITS OUT
Even anxiety-ridden perfectionists such as myself power through given enough time. It’s kind of like Bikram yoga -- you submit yourself to the same ritual torture over and over and learn how to tune out the mental drama in between.
For this reason, the stage can actually become a vacuous yet comforting addictive pursuit in and of itself. There is no future, no past, no thoughts. Funny how all that Eckhart Tolle shit your mom made you read starts to work when it’s all just booty flex left, right, left, right, 1, 2, 3, 4, left, right, right, right.
As Brandi -- the 60-something woman selling bikinis 20 years after quitting -- often said to the disaffected cluster of strippers before leaving for the night: “Ladies, your job is to be an actress. Never forget that.”
While at first I thought she was referring to the cartoonish “O” faces that the veterans had perfected, the message runs much deeper: Our very job description is to be entertainers.
LOGIC
Logic: It’s gone! You will routinely be around men that leave logic in their BMW convertible or Suite 242 at the Hyatt. Your own behavior and desires make less and less sense to even yourself.
When there are people to hustle, you’ll feel tired and want to hide in the back until the next stage set, and when it’s dead, you’ll whine about the lack of suckers to hustle.
You could drive yourself crazy (and broke) being confused by an obsessive need to deconstruct the mechanics of the club vs. the fact that the whole thing is an absurd illusion where evolution and de-evolution coexist in mathematical defiance.
It was becoming clear to me that beyond the money, the attention, and the cliché daddy issues that lurk beneath the surface of the collective stripper consciousness, I was becoming addicted to the WEIRDNESS. You learn new shit all the time, even if it’s as stupid as the fact that the old type of implants glow in the dark or the chirpy top-earner Barbie with the perfect husband, perfect kid, and perfect tits allegedly stabbed her perfect pet terrier because “she didn’t want it anymore.”
In this way, stripping is not unlike the Internet -- instant gratification amongst a deluge of information that you had no idea that you even wanted.
The 4 Types Of Male Texters Who Will Break Your Heart
Avoid them like the PLAGUE.
Texting has become a popular way to communicate among singles. People like it because it's a quick means of communicating details, and men usually prefer texting because it's easy to stay in touch without much effort.
Texting is also a fun way to banter without picking up the phone. That's the upside. The downside is when women mistake a man's frequent texting for real interest in them. Or, when he doesn't text back at all when he's shown signs that he likes you.
Sadly, many men are keen on how to be a heartbreaker and end up leading women on. But you don't have to be one of these women.
Here are 4 types of texters to watch out for and avoid like the plague. Because we guarantee you will run into them.
1. The Womanizing Texter
He's not ready to be exclusive, but seeks female attention. For this guy, texting is the perfect way to keep you — a woman — at arm's length. In this case, texting is his low commitment way to stay in touch.
In fact, a man can actually be texting several women on a regular basis. It helps him feel more desirable and like a hot commodity. Texting provides a great ego boost as the arrival tone alerts everyone in hearing distance of his popularity.
2. The Cheating Texter
He seems to be romantically interested in you, even though he's in a relationship. Many experts refer to such relationships as emotional cheating: when a man who has a wife or live-in girlfriend creates an emotionally close bond with another woman via texting.
This way, he isn't physically cheating, just flirting with other women. Obviously, you wouldn't want a man who knows your man engaging other women this way, because he clearly knows how to be a heartbreaker.
3. The Needy Texter
This guy might text you all day. He wants your attention and needs your help. He'll either appeal to your nurturing side or just text little things all day to stay in touch. At first it might be fun, but it can wear you down and become pretty darn annoying, especially when you'd prefer a face-to-face date. Eventually, you'll wait for the day when he doesn't text back.
4. The Controlling Texter
He shows a lot of interest, wanting to know what you are up to and where you are going. Initially, you might feel flattered, but his demanding texts can get old, annoying and even worrisome. The controlling guy might have time to date you, but he uses texting to keep a tight rein on you.
For the man who texts frequently but makes no time to see you, you should take this as a sign that something is not right. Some men satisfy their need for emotional support via text without having to actually date you.
Since most women are kind and naturally want to help, you are happy to lend an ear and feel communicating this way means something. You may feel flattered by how much he stays in touch or think it demonstrates his interest in you.
Unfortunately, it usually means nothing. In effect, you are giving away your kindness, empathy and heart for little in exchange. And you feel frustrated, wondering, "Why doesn't he ask me out?"
Your time is valuable and your support is a privilege. Don't give your support away to a man who doesn't make time to see you, regardless of his reasons. Avoid getting wrapped up in these uncommitted relationships.
If you want to get the message across that you don't have time for all this texting, there's no need to be direct. Simply stop answering the texts. You can answer every third text or take a few hours before you respond. He'll catch on quickly if you don't play the game with him.
7 Mind Games He Plays & How to Deal
We all know the guy (or guys) who plays uncool, perplexing and completely ridiculous mind games that leave you wondering, “WTF?!” While it’s generally best to stay away from these mystifying men, sometimes it can be worth sticking it out with a confused cutie who may just need a little direction. But when should you stick around, and when should you run out the door? Here are seven mind games guys play and how to deal.
1. The “Ghost Texting” Game
What he does
You had a fantastic time on your date—and he did, too. At least, that’s what you thought until he suddenly dropped off the face of the planet. You haven’t heard back from him in a week. What’s going on?
What you should do
“You may never know for sure what's up with him,” says Marla Martenson, a matchmaker, author and motivational speaker. “It could be that he is seeing multiple girls, or he is just not that into you. But whatever it is, that's not your problem. Get out there and date like a guy.”
If he still hasn’t responded to your texts after a week, stop dwelling on that dude and move on. A guy who leaves you on the line just isn’t worth it. After all, you want a man who won’t disappear sporadically (and that’s really not too much to ask).
2. The “Roller Coaster” Game
What he does
On your dinner date, you were both laughing at each other’s jokes. And that sweet nighttime stroll you went on afterward? It was so romantic; he held your hand and gave you a kiss. But the next day, he seemed kind of weird and distant. What’s with the mood swings?
What you should do
“It sounds like he's probably unsure of his feelings, or the feelings he experienced the night before may be something so new to him that it may be making him feel a little scared,” says Suzanne Oshima, a matchmaker and dating coach at Single in Stilettos.
Whether he’s feeling shaky about his emotions or your awesomeness intimidates him, one thing is certain—you won’t know for sure until you talk to him (and not over text!). In person, gently ask him what’s up with his behavior: “Hey, Mark, you’ve been acting a little distant lately. Is there something going on?” He may open up and have an amazing heart-to-heart with you. But if he still gives you the cold shoulder, it’s best to see what else is out there.
3. The “We’ll Never Be Official” Game
What he does
You’ve been seeing this dude for three months, and every time you bring up the completely un-crazy notion of a relationship, he totally shuts down.
What you should do
“If every time you bring up the 'girlfriend' concept he shuts down, the worst thing you can do is to put more pressure on him,” Oshima says. “It's important to find out the reason why he's averse to the idea of a girlfriend.”
It’s likely that this guy is flat-out terrified of commitment or has been hurt in the past. Threatening him with an ultimatum isn’t a good idea; give him time to see how wonderful you are! However, Oshima also recommends keeping your options open—give him competition. That guy may never open up to the idea of a relationship, and you don’t want to end up heartbroken.
4. The “Secret Girlfriend” Game
What he does
He’s the sweetest guy ever when it’s just the two of you. But that’s the problem—it’s always just you two! You’re getting the sense that he’s hiding you from his friends. Why would he do that?
What you should do
“If you've been dating for a while, then that's a big, red flag when a guy never wants you to meet his friends or family,” Oshima says. “If you're an important part of [this] man's life, he will want you to meet his friends, so he can show you off to them."
Next time he mentions his posse, ask to meet them! Or tell him you want tag along to a party he’s going to. If he says okay, great! But if he finds a way to get around your requests, let him go. You’re fabulous, and your guy should want to show you off, not keep you a secret.
5. The “Spontaneous Jerk” Game
What he does
You think the world of him. He’s gentle and kind, and he treats you like the princess you are. But when you’re hanging out with him in a group setting, he suddenly enters douche mode and you’re left feeling confused and disgusted. Does his evil twin take over every time you guys hang out with friends? Which is the real him?
What you should do
“This guy is very insecure and feels the need to show off in front of his friends,” Oshima says. “He may be the type of person who feels like the bigger man by putting other people down in front of others.”
If your man feels the need to make awful jokes and mean comments in order to fit in with his friends, this is never okay! Talk to him about his behavior: “Tyler, I think you’re awesome. But when we hang out with other people, you don’t seem to be yourself. I wish everyone could see the sweet guy that I see.”
Give him time to fix his behavior after you’ve talked. If he does it again, Oshima says to “get up and walk out.” If he never comes around, cut ties with this guy. You want somebody who’s secure enough to be nice all the time.
6. The “Never
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