How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #3) - DeYtH Banger (bts book recommendations TXT) 📗
- Author: DeYtH Banger
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For example, write down all the things you like about yourself, all the things you've accomplished, all the things that make you a great human being to be around. Include things such as:
personality characteristics (your great sense of humor) physical characteristics (your killer hair) accomplishments (your MS in electrical engineering) specific memories that put a smile on your face and make you feel good possessions (maybe a great car that any woman would be lucky to even sit in) friends, family, associates etc.Anything and everything you can think of. Anything that makes you realize that you're not a loser, that you're actually a heck of a guy, and any woman would be LUCKY to have a shot at you.
Write down as many things as you can think of now — you may need several sheets of paper — then put the paper on your dresser or on your kitchen table or someplace conspicuous and continually add to it over the next couple weeks, every time you think of something new.
Heck, write down that smiling little girl that you saw on the news the other day, the one who's 6 years old and already has had 15 operations because of a birth defect. How could anyone watch or think about something like that and not feel extremely fortunate that they themselves were born healthy and normal.
Once you have all your lists, you need to start training your mind to focus more on the great things about you and your life, rather than focusing on the things you don't like.
To break the bad habit of negative, unhappiness thinking, we need to repeatedly, over a period of time, maybe a few weeks, force ourselves to think about, remember, and focus on things that generate a positive, confident, and happy emotional state.
We're not going to get rid of our negative thoughts by not thinking about our faults and failures. (In order to consciously not think about something, you have to think about it.) We're going to get rid of our negative thoughts by replacing them with positive ones.
Once we have our sheets of paper, all we have to do is schedule time to review.
Spend 5 or 10 minutes before going to sleep reviewing your lists. Spend another 5 or 10 minutes in the morning doing the same. 5 minutes during lunch. Another 5 in the afternoon.
Don't make this hard. Don't make it a chore. It should actually be fun and something that you look forward to. (Who doesn't like to feel good?)
Spend a few weeks doing this, a few weeks reviewing your lists and retraining your mind. It WILL work. Your thinking will change. Your manner will change. Your walk will change. Your body language will change. Your confidence will change. You will become happier.
And the women will notice!
The 7 Signs a Woman Wants to Be Approached
by Ron Louis & David Copeland
Question:
How do I find out if a woman is receptive to being approached by me?
Answer:
We never suggest pushing a woman, trying to "talk her into liking you," or becoming submissive and acting like a supplicant "so she'll like you."
We are against giving her things you don't want to give her, or doing things for her that you don't want to do, in order to "get her to like you," too.
However...
You probably are often in situations where you don't know if a woman is receptive or not.
Perhaps it's in a bookstore, as you watch a desirable woman browse the books. Or perhaps it's at a coffee shop, wondering if a woman might like you as you watch her working on her laptop computer.
One of the big traps men fall into is they don't find out if a woman is receptive or not. If she's not, then fine, you can move on. But you have to find out.
How to do that?
1. Saying "hi" right away.
If you said "hi" to that woman at the coffee shop when you first saw her, and she didn't say "hi" back, you'd have a good idea that she's not very receptive to your approaching her. If she did say "hi" back, then you both have a little invested in the relationship, and it will be easier to talk with her more later.
2. Assessing her "vibe."
With some women, you really might get the sense that there is a wall around them and that they are really in their own world.
In that situation, the average guy will make this mistake - he'll assume that if he was better with women, he'd be able to break down that wall, talk to that woman, and get her into bed in 20 minutes or less.
Then the average guy will feel bad about himself. Has that ever happened to you?
The truth is, some women are highly unreceptive, and it doesn't have anything to do with you, and there's nothing you are going to be able to do about it. Stop idealizing her as "the perfect woman, who got away" and stop beating yourself up about it.
3. Check out her level of eye contact.
If you are around anyone, you are likely to make accidental eye contact - unless that person is making an effort to make sure that eye contact does not occur. If you can't catch her eye, it doesn't mean that the game is over, but it might mean that she's less open to you than you might like.
4. Being a source of certainty that the interaction is going okay.
Remember, most of the time, a woman is looking to you to gauge whether or not she should be tense in an interaction. If you seem relaxed, she'll be much more likely to relax, too.
On the other hand, if you are tense, she'll be tense, too.
Don't wait for her to relax first - have the faith that the interaction is okay, even before there's any proof of it.
Providing that certainty is _much_ more important than having the "perfect line." You can bumble all over the place, but if you are a source of certainty, then you will have a much better chance with her.
5. See how she responds to comments.
You can find out if a woman is receptive by making some little comment, and seeing how she responds to it.
For instance - If you are using your laptop computer outside at a coffee shop, and it is too bright to see the screen so you came back inside, you might say something like, "Wow, it's nice out, but too bright to see the screen" as you pass by her.
See how she responds - if she grunts or says nothing, she's probably feeling unapproachable. If she gives you an entire sentence, you are on your way!
6. Try a simple conversation-starter.
Get this - It IS permissible to start a conversation with a very tepid, non-romantic question.
You don't have to be romantic right off the bat - just try a little test to find out if she's interested in talking with you.
Look for something in the environment you can comment on, or something about her person that you can ask a question about. Then make your comment or ask your question.
It's perfectly fine to start a conversation with, "Excuse me, I notice you have an Apple laptop. How do you like it?" You just need to get something started. It can get romantic later.
It's also excellent to ask, "What's the story behind that?" about some article on her person. For instance, you might say, "Excuse me, I couldn't help noticing your unusual necklace. I can't recall ever seeing one like that before. If you wouldn't mind me asking, what's the story behind that?"
These are good ways to open conversations with any woman, and will help you see how receptive she is.
7. Don't beat yourself up for "missed" opportunities.
We've said it before, and we'll say it again: It does you no good to beat yourself up for not talking to every woman who crosses your path.
Sometimes you'll "miss" opportunities with women. Don't beat yourself up about it. Beating yourself up about missing opportunities with women only makes things worse.
We believe that this is true: "Missing" opportunities - and not beating yourself up about them - is part of learning to actually take opportunities.
The sequence looks like this: 1) You believe there are no opportunities. Eventually, that leads to 2) You see opportunities, but don't take them, which leads to 3) seeing opportunities and taking them. Let yourself feel good about even _seeing_ the opportunity to approach a woman. That will help you take the opportunity in the future.
More women than you think want you to approach them. Use these tips to find out which ones, and take action!
Chapter 11.1 - Cut the Bullshit Tail (Part 2)
The Kiss of Death
by Allen Thompson
You've met the most incredible girl...
You don't really know her, but you're pretty sure she's a Goddess... sent straight from Heaven... in jeans.
You exchanged glances in Chemistry, had a few brief conversations after class, and even bumped into her at the mall. (Talk about fate!)
You KNOW you want her. There's no doubt about it. The question now becomes, "Does she want you?"
She smiles at you... but is it a friendly or a flirtatious smile?
You saw her leave with another guy after class... was he her boyfriend?
She flirted with you last week, even touched your shoulder... then completely ignored you the other day.
Does she like you?
How can you tell? You really need to know this before you begin the "pursuit" don't you?
Perhaps the most common question posed on the SoSuave Discussion Forumconcerns "reading women" and trying to figure out whether they like you or not. The poster usually describes his situation, what he did, what she did, and then asks, "Does this mean she likes me?" Or, "Does this mean she doesn't like me?"
Definitely a popular question. Definitely a question in need of an answer.
Okay, here's the best answer you're probably ever going to get and what you need to remember... always...
Obsessing about a particular girl, and whether or not she likes you, is the KISS OF DEATH with women!
If you're worrying about whether a girl likes you or not, chances are she doesn't - or rather, SHE WON'T. She won't because your "worry" and your "obsession" with what she thinks of you will actually push her away.
Let me try to explain.
When you let yourself fall into the "obsession" trap, you begin to analyze everything your dream girl does, every word she says, every move she makes... and try to relate them all to you!
She smiled at you - she didn't smile at you. She emailed you - she didn't email you. She returned your call - she didn't return your call. Confusion, frustration, and anxiety result.
This obsession with her behaviors and their meanings will paralyze you, confuse you, and suck every ounce of confidence you have from your body. You will become a Blithering Blob of Insecurity. And women, in general, are not attracted to Blithering Blobs of Insecurity.
So are you wrong to be confused by women?
NO! Absolutely NO!
Women ARE confusing. Always have been and always will be. That's just the way they are.
Especially when it comes to romance, women seem totally inconsistent in their behaviors.
One minute you're convinced you're the man of her dreams, and the
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