The Bucket List - N. Y. (great book club books TXT) 📗

baby I used to be.

 

So I grabbed the chocolate bar, hid it under my jacket and stormed out.

 

 

Not even with a little care.

 

The dark gloomy sunset was all I needed as I paced my way back home.

 

 

That night, I kept overthinking. Even when I prepared to just sleep.

 

Tossing and turning, hoping when mom and dad would come back.

 

 

But I knew it'd be a long time before regret pops up on me.

 

The friendship, the candy bars i'd never pay for.

 

 

And most importantly, my normal life.

 

I had it taken away for no reason, or for one I can't seem to remember.

 

 

So I was stuck,....part of the stolen lives club.

Adapt

 

The night we last talked....

 

 

''You're interesting, you're different and I like that.'' she says.

 

 

Ashley fixes the bracelet one more time before getting a full look at me.

 

I'd never think that i'd be going to the school dance with my best friend.

 

 

Through crying in the girls restroom, lunch on the toliet the first day (months ago.)

 

From boys and other things, to broken hearts and happiness.

 

 

We've really been through it all. The friendship we had held on to.

 

It's only November, and yet I still had cold feet on going out tonight.

 

 

Ashely smiles after the thought disappears.

 

 

''You're gonna look perfect, everyone is going to notice.'' she says, brushing hair off my dress.

 

The lights were off in Ashley's room and the only light was coming from the hallway.

 

 

Mrs. Bass was taking a shift tonight at the hospital and it was me and Ashley left to have a ride.

 

Even though it was last minute, we ended up making the choice to walk.

 

 

Besides, the school was not far from where Ashley lived.

 

And the last minute touch was being done.

 

 

Soon i'd break out of these old glasses i've had since 4th grade, and i'd get to be cinderella tonight.

 

But my hair still stayed the same.

 

 

Ashley begged me to change it tonight. She wanted to copy the teen vouge style she saw back in January.

 

I said no, and no matter how many times she showed it to me, I never gave in.

 

 

The frizz and poof, was all I could maintain tonight.

 

And the deep dark blue dress I wore with thin spaghetti straps going down to my toes, was plenty enough.

 

 

The one Ashley had on was a strapless hot and light pink dress with a silver sparkly loop belt underneath the chest.

 

It seemd to suit her brown hair.

 

 

Making her pale freckled face appear beautiful, she barely had on makeup.

 

Only a few strokes of mascara, and maybe a small fill in on her eyebrows.

 

 

And for me, it was a smile rose gold pink color on the lips and highlighter for effect.

 

Ashley had been shopping all week, searching for MAC products, especially for me.

 

 

Her grin is huge and wide before I can realize why.

 

She held out the case for me, and even though I knew it would mess up everything, I jumped for it.

 

 

I smiled and took the case carefully into Ashley's bathroom.

 

She waits hugging on the closed door.

 

 

I can hear her silent breathing as I popped in one and the other. It was hard and watery at first, but soon I got used to it.

 

 

It was better than looking through my glasses all night.

 

I'd finally get to have the vision I always wanted, except for the fact it's Mrs. Bass' contacts.

 

 

But that thought will come in later, when Ashley and I get busted for searching her room.

 

 

Ashley only wanted to help, and I agreed when we found it in Mrs. Bass' bedside drawer next to a bottle of benadryl.

 

 

Me and Ashley sneaked in a few laughs before getting out of her mom's room, then proceeding to her room for the finishing touch up.

 

 

That's where the idea for trying a new look ignited.

 

The fire in Ashley's eyes were promising enough.

 

 

And when I looked in that mirror, I knew this was the night i'd never forget.

 

With a huge smile, i'm out of the bathroom, flipping the light switch off and pulling Ashley behind me.

 

 

She laughs softly following me without a word. Down the stairs we go and out of her house.

 

No matter how many times i'd think Ashley thought why, I suddenly wanted to leave, I just kept running.

 

 

Making the clicks of the 1 inch silver heels Ashely lended me, fall onto the black midnight road.

 

All I could hear was Ashley laughing behind me, as her big smile kept flashing all over her face, one hand holding onto the extra pink tool on her dress.

 

 

And when I looked back at her, I couldn't wipe the moment off my face.

 

The thrill, the cold November air and no regrets that night.

 

 

When we finally reached Bree Woods Middle School, I had to catch my breath before going in with cold feet again.

 

The run seemed to help with the nerves, but then it came flooding back.

 

 

That's when Ashley led me in, holding onto my hand.

 

The same smile she never lets off her face, in the dark lit night.

 

 

I couldn't fight with Ashley's smile, it was too good for anyone to pass up on.

 

And that went on all night.

 

 

With the bouncing music, and dark blue theme, I kept bobbing my head to the music.

 

Assuming that's how everyone did it, but I was wrong that night.

 

 

Ashley bumped into me from time to time while I stood a few feet away from the wall in the gym. Just seconds away near the doors.

 

 

She'd waved to me, get herself another glass of punch even though it tasted more like water. And she had 7.

 

 

And no matter how many times i'd stick out my face and widened my eyes, no one saw me.

 

Nobody wanted to dance with me, even though they could clearly see that I don't have my glasses.

 

 

Even the highlight on my cheekbones didn't work like how Ashley said. Maybe it works better on her.

 

I sighed every minute or so, and kept my hands clamped together in front of me.

 

 

I was getting tired just standing  there and I needed a friend asap.

 

And that's when suddenly it happened.

 

 

Ashley came back with punch in her hand, over to where I stood most of the night. Or the past hour i've been there looking dumb.

 

 

She was silent and there's worry in her eyes, trying to aviod eye contact as much as possible.

 

''Ashley are you okay?'' I asked her.

 

 

I finally got myself out of standing in the corner, bobbing my head , to aid Ashley and what she was upset about.

 

''What happened?'' I asked placing a hand on her arm.

 

 

She looks up, almost flinching. But then she sets her eyes on me.

 

Recognizing my dress and who I was, it seemed like she was in another world.

 

 

Then she's officially gone, just like that, disappearing from the girl I knew.

 

Ashley went back the way she came, holding the drink she never finished in her hands.

 

 

I called after her, trying to move but I couldn't.

 

The heels made my feet sore, and I had no more faith.

 

She was gone and I didn't know why.

 

 

That's when I stood there, waiting, hoping she'd explain why she ran off like that.

 

But that didn't happen for seconds, or even a minute.

 

 

So that's when the exchange happened. The moment everything went upside down.

 

There I was standing, at the school dance, waiting for Ashley to return and she never did.

 

 

I was searching the dancing crowd underneath the blue light, waiting for her.

 

 

I don't talk for a second. I want to cry, wonder why Ashley didn't come back.

 

Where she is. Maybe she left home and didn't want to tell me.

 

 

Either way, I tried to cover up the feeling. Burying it deep inside my head.

 

Then with one finger, I wipe away a tear that almost streamed down my face.

 

 

I don't even know if she's safe? If something happened?

 

Was it my fault?

 

 

I won't know for sure, but I had to forget it.

 

I had to move on. Hoping she'd be okay by Monday.

 

Maybe.

 

 

''Ashley where are you.'' I whisper to myself.

 

My hands held on tight to each other planted in front of my dress as I shut my lips, not wanting to talk.

 

I didn't think anyone would understand. But I continued looking out into the dancing crowd of everyone in the gym.

 

 

Music is still blasting, and everyone looks happy, except for me.

 

Underneath the blue light, wondering where dear Ashley went.

 

And the truth was.

 

Tonight, she was Cinderella.

 

Purple

 

That 6th grade Winter....

 

 

If i’ve learned anything, it’s that in middle school, everything is a fair game.

 

If you lose friends over it, get ready to be friend-less.

 

 

And it's too bad, because it's already been like that for a while now.

 

Ashley hasn't come around on talking to me again.

 

 

Every single day, I get some type of hint that she's really gone. Even though I know she'll come back to me somday.

 

I have faith.

 

 

But what I can't process is why I still have faith.

 

Obviously she doesn't want to see me, or maybe it's because of what happened.

 

Which i'm not so sure about anymore.

 

 

I've heard that Ashley left school to travel with her mom.

 

I've heard that she just wants to completely erase her identity for real.

 

Or that what really went down, is soon gonna bite her back.

 

 

But I don't believe any of those words.

 

Even hearing the news that Ashley isn't coming back to school. At least for a few days.

 

 

I thought it was relief. Soon i'd have my best friend back, but then I realized what might actually happen.

 

She probably won't ever come back, maybe not after a few days.

 

 

Maybe after a few weeks, or never.

 

You couldn't know for sure.

 

 

And I was upset, laying in bed, missing school just for that thought.

 

Aunt Carol would be upset with me for one day, but she'd understand.

 

 

I was worried sick about Ashley. Anybody would feel that way about a friend.

 

I missed my best friend, and I don't know who was the last person she saw or talked to before she lost herself at the school dance.

 

 

That was only 2 weeks ago, but I still can't bring myself to get over it.

 

Who changed her mind? What happened? And why didn't I know?

 

 

I should be furious at Ashley. 

 

But i'm not.

 

 

The only other person who would make her upset, was the only thing she ever dreamed of.

 

Someone special, the one living thing that broke her heart.

 

She obviously wants that person back, but who wouldn’t?

 

 

I just couldn't figure out who it was.

 

Why suddenly the impact on Ashley, leaving her to make the choice and leave school.

 

 

And as I laid there, silently picking the white pillowcase under my head. The plan had completely broken down.

 

There was no more hope for me.

 

 

I'd grow friendless, and this was just my first year of middle school. I couldn't lose Ashley.

 

So that's when it struck me, I can't