The Bucket List - N. Y. (great book club books TXT) 📗

for as long as I could until mom told me to get rid of her.

 

I didn't mind her imperfect appearance, it made her beautiful.

 

 

That's how I grew up to love myself.

 

 

But even in the midst of the town, I didn't like being looked at like a doll or even stared out.

 

It made me think of the sad days of Mrs. Potato Head when I threw her away.

 

 

Mom said she'd buy me a new doll. One better than her.

 

But I shook my head and didn't say another word since about oh dear Mrs. Potato Head.

 

 

From then on, mom never agreed to buy me new dolls and I compromised with that.

 

Now she's barely even here, it's mostly me and Aunt Carol.

 

 

The change of ignition draws me from my thoughts as Aunt Carol drives out from the hosptial entrance.

 

She was probably tired of the silence between us or the fact I never responded. 

 

Either way, she enters onto the main road going up.

 

 

I watch the trees pass by as my head settles on the smooth cold window.

 

I hugged onto my teddy bear.

 

 

It was nice of her to think of me and bought something while I was in deep sleep.

 

Nurse Nenny told me not the say coma most of the time.

 

 

It made me and herself, feel a little depressed about being in the ICU.

 

So we came up with deep sleep.

 

 

 

The ride to school was soothing. Aunt Carol didn't say much but I however tried to start conversation.

 

Most of the time I did, it came out in a sigh.

 

 

I was still tired of sitting on my butt in the hospital the whole night.

 

Trying to get some sleep before I could go home.

 

 

But breakfast was still good. Despite the jello and diet sierra mist I got from the hosptial cafeteria.

 

Nurse Nenny offered me her panini this morning and I took it.

 

 

It consisted mostly of something I knew didn't taste right, but it was better than jello for breakfast.

 

And that's what I liked about Nurse Nenny. She was nice and sweet.

 

She went out of her way to make me a little bit happier. 

 

 

And that fact made me happy as I watch the road bend as the car moves.

 

 

Nurse Nenny was there while I was hauled into the hospital for the first time.

 

She helped me calm down my nerves when I was told, I was going into surgery.

 

I squeezed her hand as she held onto me.

 

 

It was one of the most memorable moments. It made me wish that mom was there, squeezing my hand.

 

She promised when i'd go to the hospital one day for something, she'd be there.

 

Waiting and holding my hand.

 

 

But she wasn't. And Aunt Carol wasn't there either.

 

She was too busy to come and see me.

 

 

Then my eyes shift to Aunt Carol, quietly driving, eyes on the road.

 

She must think i'm acting weird or that i'm traumatized after that event.

 

 

But i'm alright for now.

 

However, Aunt Carol keeps her eyes fixed on the road as I looked back to the window.

 

The car comes to a slow stop.

 

 

I could tell we were at school when I looked at the famaliar ground.

 

The street and parking lot looked the same. It was as if nothing changed.

 

 

Aunt Carol smiles as she turns to me.

 

''Have a great day honey.'' she says.

 

 

I get out without a smile in return. It seemed too quick in the moment to smile back.

 

I had just gotten out of the hospital just mintues ago, it isn't always a moment in which patients smile.

 

 

I heard it from one of the kids in the same ICU as me, who left the hospital for a couple months, then came back.

 

They said that his experience out of the hospital, in his words... was weird and constant.

 

 

I thought it was crazy talk/ I thought it would have been normal just like any other day of your life.

 

 

But I was wrong, now I know why he said that.

 

It did feel werid.

 

 

Out of this world, like I was an alien.

 

 

Mom and Dad weren't here at all, they probably didn't get the news yet.

 

But Nurse Nenny told me not to think about it.

 

 

So that made it more unusual for my return. It was just me against the world.

 

Just like before, and even more now.

 

 

Finally, I close the car door behind me after thinking.

 

I stutter in my step as I look back and open the door again.

 

I grab my teddy bear I had almost forgotten.

 

 

 

I put the bear to my nose to smell the hairs again. It flared with smokey and soft scents.

 

Like hospital cotton balls and the hand sanitizer that made my nose sting.

 

 

I figured Aunt Carol got it from the gift shop in the hospital.

 

I recognized the bear i'd seen up in display when I roamed the floors in the hospital at night.

 

 

No one knew except for Nurse Nenny, who kept an eye out for me when it was past my bed time and I should have wondered my way back to the ICU.

 

 

I curl my arms around the bear as I loop my way from Aunt Carol's car. I pace on the sidewalk leading to the front doors of school.

 

Several students pass by just up ahead, nearing the doors.

 

 

I pull my teddy bear back then down to my waist with my left hand and my lunch box in my right hand.

 

 

I take a deep breath one more time before I head towards the concrete steps, going up as fast as I can.

 

Usually i'm slow just like everybody else. But since my time has changed over the course of 2 months, I wanted to try it differently.

 

 

And it seemed harder to breath when I went up fast.

 

Nurse Nenny told me that would happen. Completely normal in response.

 

  

As I catch my breath, I close my eyes and adjust my glasses.

 

 

I pushed against the doors heading inside. The main office to my right bustles busy as usual.

 

No one else was near the entrance, it was just me.

 

 

After several steps or so, from what I remember. My eyes set on the open school.

 

The splatter paint floors and the primrose, dark yellow stairs come into sight.

 

 

The air smelled like erasers and mopped floors.

 

Yep, that's Bree Woods Middle School for you.

 

 

For a second, I slowly make the pace darting for the stairs just ahead of me.

 

I step up and walk my usual way.

 

And even in that moment, there's no sign of gasping or looks yet.

 

 

Everything seemed normal. It was like another day in school for me.

 

 

I was expecting everyone to stop and bow down in my presence.

 

I thought it would be more attentive for everyone to realize how long gone I was.

 

 

Like, usually, i'd have an apple in my hand to eat for breakfast and one in my lunch box for later.

 

Next, i'd pass by some kids to get upstairs before those rush minutes to class.

 

 

Then i'd struggle with my locker and refuse to try again, go to class with all my things and that'd be my day.

 

 

But today....it was awfully weird.

 

 

It didn't feel the same way as before.

 

The feeling of sorrow and pity in people's eyes didn't show at all.

 

 

It was as if life went on without me and it didn't care.

 

 

I walk my way down the small enveloped hall and managed to get past some people. I looked to my locker once again.

 

The bad, old, rusty locker of mine.

 

 

The locker of bubble gum, smelly roasted coffee beans and old wrinkly paper I never used.

 

It was the locker of all lockers anyone would ever want, and I got it.

 

 

I heard rumors back then, that it was haunted or something. People said, whoever got the locker would somehow end up in the hospital or even worse.

 

Away from school, for a long time.

 

 

I didn't believe it before, but now it seems kinda real.

 

I was away from school for a long time. 

 

 

I ended up in the hospital for a particular reason.

 

 

But it didn't scare me as much, and the thought came back as students hurry and rush on their way.

 

My hands gently lay on the lock with the same struggle, but more smoothly this time.

 

 

1> 33

 

2> 41

 

3> 26

 

 

I closed my eyes as it opened with ease. I was surprised after all this time.

 

 

Maybe it was because of the patience I finally took or maybe because I was in deep sleep.

 

Or maybe it was because something new about me sprung out of nowhere.

 

 

And with that happy thought, and a small smile on my face, I take my teddy bear and place it inside my locker.

 

The cool dark and damp locker of mine with no light.

 

 

I blew the teddy bear a kiss before placing my lunch box beside it. Then place the lock back on the door to close it.

 

Reaching to my backpack slipping off my shoulders, I re-adjust the straps as I turn from my locker.

 

 

 

The bell rang as I quickly rush in thought about my schedule.

 

 

I walk down the hall, thinking that it's still weird how no one had noticed I got a haircut.

 

Or even cared to think that I was back in school.

 

 

I guess the people here just casually live their life's, nothing else to think about.

 

It's kinda like that in Bree Woods Middle School.

 

 

And before things changed for me.

 

Paperwhite

  

''So, can someone give me an answer on what people did back then during the time of salem witch trails?'' Mr. Elliot says.

 

Most of the students just remain quiet.

 

 

I propped my hand up under my chin. I wanted to answer just like how I always did.

 

But this time i'd like to see the reaction.

 

 

''Really, no one?'' Mr. Elliot said.

 

He sighes and turns around to the chalkboard ahead.

 

 

I raise my hand up from the sudden silence.

 

Mr. Elliot writes something and then calls onto the class.

 

''Yes?'' he says.

 

 

He turns around, and notices I had my hand raised.

 

Mr. Elliot is surprised at first, then he brushes the feeling off.

 

 

''I didn't know you were in class today.'' he says, looking down to his papers.

 

The answer was directed to me. I could tell the way he said it, low and disappointed like always.

 

Don't get me wrong. U still really like Mr. Elliot.

 

 

''The answer to your question, people used to think witches were in practice and thought they needed to be locked away fror their magic on people. The church was wrong but didn't realize until later when the witches fled south.'' I answered.

 

 

And just as I finish my answer, she walks in.

 

It was Ashley. She seemed calmed and bothered at the same time.

 

 

Ashley was that girl in middle school. Every minute she'd turn to someone, it was instantly friendship.

 

She talked with everybody and still managed to get good grades.

 

 

I had envied her for a while now until....well, I met someone else.

 

It made me smile for a bit. I had been jealous of my friend this past year.

 

 

She walks past the students to her seat, in the row next to me. Just 2 seats back from where I sat.

 

It was odd and crazy in my head to see her again.

 

 

Her pretty face grew with highlight and she started using more mascara than before.

 

And the blue hair struck me.

 

She looked like a mystical mermaid.

 

 

Ashley dyed her hair all sorts of colors and it was one of the things I liked about her.

 

Even in 5th grade, she'd choose crazy colors and dye the tips of her split ends.

 

 

She used koolaid instead of real hair dye, up until her mom said that it was okay. It reminded me of how much we'd become close.

 

Then after her crazy koolaid phase, she switched back to brown just in time before 6th grade.

 

 

But then, as suspected with other friendships of the