Jokes From C (BJ's Life #4) - DeYtH Banger (free e books to read online txt) 📗

 By DeYtH Banger


Greetings SHITTY Fuckers.. . I see too many moms to bang…

I am failure like my father, but so far
As for now I don’t have with whom to compare…


THIS FUCKER DIED
…


It’s sad story like my mother… she sad bitch.… She brings strangers in home and wants me to have a face of fucked and bitch. I mean look her… she is DESPARATE for cock…


DOES THIS WHOLE STORY MAKE ME GAY?

Because so far her interests aren’t on my list.





IT’S MISSION IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME

She always gets fucked as for me… I want to kill her or if not let me face the whole situation. To be in the room… jerking off…

To take notes after all I am typical beta male.


Today, I was on the internet I read that I babe has water in life…


IN MY OPINION THIS FUCKER HAS GOT DAMAGED GOALS


Look son of a BITCHES.. . If you promise me sweets when I get in heaven… Tomorrow.. I am getting a ticket!

The truth for all girls here…




IF YOU ARE SAYING THAT YOU HAVE BOYS FRIENDS… STOP SOCIALLY LIE ABOUT THAT SHIT… ALL THIS FRIENDS SECRETLY ARE INTETESTED IN BANGING YOU

IT GETS ME VERY VERY NERVOUS WHY PEOPLE LIE TO OTHERS WITH NICENESS




- “You are a Brilliant worker… we gonna call you.. To higher you for a new job.”

- “Great… great… wait we gonna call you after 7 days”




People lie about work, job about everything… what’s your thing with being nice…


MY FAVOURITE PART IS WHEN A GIRL IS NICE TO A GUY WHICH SHE REJECTS


COME ON BIATCH… TELL HIM THE TRUTH… COME ON… DON’T YOU HAVE THE GUTS… BIATCH?

So here is my advice for average people.. kill yourself… or kill bunch of people… or kill PLENY of cops or kill doctors… or suicide… or Rob a bank… bomb a subway…

GO FUCKING DO IT…
WE PROMISE YOU THAT THIS ADVICE IS THE BEST ON THE MARKET AS FOR ASSHOLES LIKE YOU

Comedy: Punch Line (3)

by DeYtH Banger

 

 

 

 

 

Oh Good Evening guys..
I know that you are happy to see me… after all your life is miserable.. . Probably not much is happening in your life… sex… marriage.. . Relationship…


SERIOUS BUSINESS


People just love me… when I start fucking around with gay, fat, SLIM, nerds, politics, random people and all othr mental masturbating categories.


I GOT THE GUTS AND THIS FUCKERS… HAVE NOTHING HANDY IN LIFE


What’s wrong with people?
They read shit… talk about shit… do shit…


I mean… what’s wrong with them?



Sometimes life isn’t as handy as you think.


He: Tell Me a story
Me: Like what
He: Something
….


He: You are not funny!


SO WHY YOU FUCKING FUCKER DON’T GO AND PLAY WITH HIS COCK…
COME ON… COME ON IT’S THE BEST PRODUCT ON THE MARKET


When people start saying stuff like

“If I tell you… What I work… after that… I should kill you…”

I like to take this moments… to express myself


“Oh as for me… If I tell you what I work… I should cut of your mom and father heads as for you…. Still you gonna be a virgin.”

Do you ask yourself?

I ask myself

Why in the bible there isn’t any cockroaches?
Why in the bible there isn’t DNA?
Why in the bible there isn’t anything written about micro cells…?


AND in the end we believe in God and what more bothers me is that is said


THIS SCUMBAG SEES THE FUTURE

Any interesting things around you… people?

Like funerals, babies, suicide, homicide, hatred, love
…

Funerals - Private Parties (Too Much Free Food)
Babies - Kill This Fuckers.. . 1$ dollar for each
Suicide - Free Pop Corns, More Food and Drinks



Masturbating is a process… when you can’t touch… you do things to fill the social holes.


When you are stupid you are loud in your dreams…


OH… OH SO YOU NOW CARE ABOUT THIS FUCKER


Let’s do something in this life… get a knife and stab each old fuck… Too old… nothing much going in their life.

Comedy: Deae

 By DeYtH Banger

Wanting to speak,
But I can’t
Wanting to write,
But I can’t



All genius people are down there… on the bottom of this earth… skinning douchebags walking on the top of the Earth…

Wanting to commit,
But I can’t
Wanting some kinda action,
But I can’t

Comedians are genius, writers are genius… everyone who is looking out of the box… (That’s the term)… it’s great to be in the package…




BUT LET ME STOP YOU
SPITTED BOTHER OF LIGHT




Drugs, ADDICTIONS.. . Bad… good everything happens for reason, just do your research. I did mein, when I was out with friends PLENY comedians actors bipolar disorder… so far this will explain why the best comedy which has ever existed is always under or on the top.


JUGGLE YOUR ASS
AIDS AND HEAD TUMORS
ARE ANOTHER RECIPE FOR A HAPPY LIFE

Punch Lines (5)

by DeYtH Banger

 

 

 

 

If even my mom gets into begging in her knees…

I GONNA GO TO… IT’S TIME FOR PAYOFF BITCH




Not interested in your problems.… sick bitch
I am probably not on the tracks to fuck you.




I am violent?
Okay… suck my cock… and try to calm this nerves… because the next step is to stick a mixer or a blender  in your throat.




I hate so much my mom, that when
I see her on her phone or computer… I feel like to stick my dick inside her mouth and say:



SCREEN THAT BITCH




Dear, Fellow humans you are like Angel on crack



When people die… it makes me feel less guilty than ever before.



I am going to be nice

BUT YOU SLUT… BLOW ME
FUCKING BLOW ME






I don’t have masks… I am myself… stop talking about self-help and self-sabotage… masks and other bullshits… eviromental pressure… masks…

OH GOD ON WHAT TYPE OF DRUGS ARE YOU RUNNING?


So you want to go out with me?
Great!


But keep this in mind:

- I fart in angles of room
- I am miserable
- I need PLENY of energy drinks (Becauseclife sucks)
- I am emotional Unstable (If I am relationship… I gonna put around my neck rope… because life is more awesome than ever)



You just never hear… “I feel great… to kill mself.. .”, “Life is great ride… it was awesome to be around you… now is time to go…”, “Methods of suicide is typical reminder for superheroes with abilities.”, “Winter is great season for to kill people”, “Winter is great season to kill cops…” and last

“Kick… or punch a cop and you gonna get fully preminum subscription for theater and cinema.”


I looked in the mirror, like most people do… and what I saw was like:




WRONG COLOUR…. BITCH… TWAT


Oh god… Old people…
Aren’t this people among the death row contestants?


Cemetries, the best private parties ever been organized…



YOU GOT IN YOUR HOME SLUMMBERJACK FUCK?
Who you hate
Who has died





Come here… more money… more offers… be obligated to pay more and more money… and why not we try this formula… by making it up to … end of your life… then we go for the children… and the phases… aren’t hard at all.

Children with disease… great you got for yourself a ticket for the circus.



You got for yourself, too much material?

Come over… go and watch PORNOGRAPHY and live the mind to start self-killing itself… we are talking about a new cover and whole new book for the self-help section.

Comedy: Not Sorry (At All)

 by DeYtH Banger


Little bit late… not pleny jokes on my pocket… on me no jokes… I am not a screw up kid who wants to ruin the fun of his own childhood. My Child hood was great… very colourful book.


BUT LISTEN,
BUT LISTEN,
LISTEN


Jokes are made just for the self-approval and self-validation… I am not going to end like Anthony Jeselnik Show… “Kids Go Read a Book”… I am going to end with “Go and offend somebody…”


Stop reading this crap
Stop going over theory


Go and take action… 



IF FUCKING GOD COMES… DON’T THINK HE WILL COME HERE AND START READING THE BIBLE… HE IS MAN OF COMMITMENT… IF HE IS TOO COMMITTED… IT MEANS THAT THE DOTS ARE GOING TO BE CONNECTED WITH MASSIVE ACTION.

SO OPEN YOUR BUT HOLES AND LET GOD FUCK YOU ONE MORE TIME



My jokes are okay… but the nation is sick… reading the bible… preaching the bible… beliving by cherishing the best things from the bible and some fucks … like pastors… have went so far that they  change the bible in way to look similar to “Nowadays”…


LOOK FUCKERS
WE KNOW THIS FUCK… JESUS

CRAZY SON OF BITCH
WITH NO DICK PICKS
MOTHER PROSTITUTE

AND THIS GUY IS NOT HAPPY… MAINLY BECAUSE OF STARVATION


Why people in the churches are starving?


COME ON 
COME ON

GIVE THIS GUY FOOD


So if you are beliving in God please prepare yourseelf for massive encounters of starvation. Sounds great?, Doesn’t it? For first trick out of the pocket! So if God comes… he is man of honor… suck his cock in the name of dignity… males… females… shemales… and all other sex type of categories. I don’t know how far you have gotten, because I am not interested in the depicating culture…


DO YOU GET THIS STORY?