Incidence Of Love: Demystified And Decoded - Santosh Jha (books to read for teens .TXT) 📗

reach anywhere…the joy and satisfaction of journey is more important than the nobility and utility of destination. There is no need to reach.

Be on an endless journey and make it your destination where you tire. But always remember to travel with love and compassion in heart. Why...?

Because, when love and compassion are with you, the path and the journey becomes the theatre of infinite song and dance. When song and dance is with you, journeys are full of incessant joy and satisfaction. If you reach the stage; if ever there happens to be one, you will automatically lose the question of destination. The question of meaning of life and its purpose will be lost.

Love and compassion makes us understand the futility and redundance of the intellectual concerns of life’s larger purpose and the material desire of life’s acquisitions. Love and compassion makes us understand that the true wisdom is not in reaching but in travelling well – with peace and poise.

The simple and innocent realism is – There is no destination and reaching. There is only journey. Intelligence cannot accept this realism, only innocence can. Love and compassion and its accompanying Innocence Is The Greatest Intellectualism, it is the best acquisition, if one defines life’s purpose in terms of acquisition and possessions.

... Important however is – never look for and accept love as ‘bachelor’, in single status. Always insist on seeing and accepting with his wife, the Compassion. Love without Compassion is calamitous. Populist choice for passionate love among young men and women may install instant and gratifying joy but it surely dissipates soon. Populist cognitive confusion about love emanates out of this refusal to institute compassion to its rightful place in intimacies.

The universe has been created and has evolved in Couple-Causality. Love too has a beautifully magnificent partner of Compassion. The couple must remain together, forever...!

**

...For Finality Of Fruition

It is not that people await good times, the good times also await good people to come and hoist the potential seeded in the soil of future. Good words also wish for good readers, to be in reception of and be in linearity of the innocent intent, which ride on the shoulders of the words, for the finality of their fruition...

**

… On Navigation And Expression Of Intent

There has to be a humble admittance – Any word, however well meant and well spelt, is a possible suspect of misinterpretation. There is a simple reason. People are in different consciousnesses and culturally as well as personally inclined to a specific value-summation of utilities. As a writer, it is a huge temptation to take liberties, with not only imaginations but also with the words, as against their common and popular use. Do kindly accept my latitude with language and personal coinages of words, as I understand, many times, they may not conform to popular usages. I share with you whatever is part of my consciousness. All wisdoms say, what stays with you is what sinks in. Wisdom is what we internalize. I share with you whatever I have internalized in my life. This may not be mainstream stuff; but may have utility in some meaningful way. I believe, as a reader, you shall enjoy this novelty and pleasant awkwardness of the writing.

**

Thanks For Your Magnanimity, The First Chapter Begins...

CHAPTER 1

How To Be Sure, When Love Happens or Hits You or What Does It

Feel To Be In Love? And Most Importantly, Is That ‘True Love’…!

A psychologist says, ‘Love hits you, when you expect it the least.’ May be, it is like the bird flying over you drops its poop on your dress, when you wear the costliest suit for the most crucial appointment of life’.

There sure is no dearth of sayings, when it comes to love. World over, there are more ‘offered knowledge’ about love than rocket science. The reality is – Everyone knows something about love but nobody knows absolutely or ‘enough’ about it! That is why, even when over-loads of wisdom about love are already there, fresh wisdom is always pouring in and surely, there are always the easy takers as probably, nobody is sure, how to be sure about what love is, how to be sure when it happens and how does it feel when love happens, to stand certain. And, as they all need answers, ‘wise words’ are in over supply...

There seems no global research or statistical data about what percentage of people want to know – ‘How to be sure, when love happens or hits you’ – This Incidence of Love; still from practical experiences, we all can say – ‘So many of them, or probably everybody...!’

Let us first list out why this confusion remains about ‘incidence’ of love and then very humbly attempt to look out, whether a probable answer can be eked out. First the confusion –

Psychologists say, ‘There are different types of love and usually, some shade of love happens and we get confused that ‘incidence’ of love has happened but it is not’. And then, we say, ‘I thought it was love, but it wasn’t’. Or we say, ‘I thought I loved him/her but I realized soon, it was something else, not love.’

That is probably why most often, people sort of ‘qualify’ love by asking – ‘What is True Love and how to ascertain true love has happened?’

Explaining the confusion, the psychologists also say, ‘No doubt, often, between a man and a woman, some mutual positive erotic transference happens but it is not love. It is just a shade of it; or a type of it’.

The wise of humanity, the philosophers and litterateurs have warned us – ‘There is a huge difference between acting in love, being in love and actually being the love itself...!’ This means, even love has hierarchy of incidence. One may hit the love but it may only be the base of the love pyramid. Means, the higher echelons of love need to be escalated and move to, to arrive at the finality of love...! Tough...! Very tough... this love...! We need to remember this crucial point.

From the perspective of science too, confusion about love is a reality as from brain point of view, there are complex mechanisms, which happen in brain, when we fall in love and it is surely very difficult to say, which part of love was just lust, passive transference, simple appreciation, recognition of commonality, etc.

Okay, difficult it may be to be sure what love is and how does it feel to be in love, when it finally happens, still, there must be some exclusive or a cumulative sign, which we may decipher as ‘Precipitative Positioning’ of love. Means, there may well be many shades and types of love but there must be some point, or some nodal space, where all such shades and types merge and ‘Compactively’ announce the ‘Incidence’ of True Love...!

Can this happen...? Is it a probability...? Even if it is possible probability, do we have this awareness mechanism in brain to decipher it decisively...?

Hmmm... Tough questions...! Looks like, there shall have to be a global conference of ‘true lovers’ to share their collective wisdom and then arrive at some probable answer...

However, from our experiences, from our history books, from our established folk lores and traditions, we all know that some people have always arrived at ‘true love’ and they must have experienced that it was their true love. This somehow opens the doors of the hope and probability that humans can decipher true love!

If humans can decipher what is the critical speed required for a rocket to move out of the orbit of earth, how they cannot decipher love...! Let us very humbly try a formula, or better to say a probable eventuality between a man and a woman, which both of them could decipher and say in unison – ‘Yes, we have arrived... yes, we announce the incidence of love... yes, we are love...!’

Before we do that, two things must be accepted as core hypotheses in any discovery of love –

Often, love is an evolutionary realism. Means – ideal it is that a man and a woman may not start at this mystical idea of ‘love at first sight’, share time and space as closely as possible and then very consciously evolve together under the ‘sun’ of mutuality, over the ‘soil’ of affection and compassion. If love evolves between the two, it is the best, which can happen to a man and a woman. This happens in most marriages, when they are settled with mutual consent of two sides, involving the man and woman. Strangers start with a ‘resolve’ for mutuality and usually end up with ‘best probability’ of love. Often, what love between two people needs is ‘commitment’ of the perseverance of the enterprise of mutuality; rest falls in place. Being young is good in many ways but what youth consciousness values precariously is ‘commitment’ as it is believed – ‘Commitment is something more valuable when procrastinated...!’

Love is never an individual attainment. It is an absurdity to say, ‘I fell in love with him/her’. Love is always in the exclusive domain of ‘we’, the two – the woman and the man. Love’s incidence is true and real, when it arrives together, almost simultaneously. A man and a woman enter the domain of love’s mutuality either together or never. That is why, most confusions about love and its incidence happen because most people are concerned only about what ‘happened’ to him/her; never thinking as did it happen to ‘them’. Love is either ‘them’ or none...

Having listed the two primary and quintessential hypothesis of love; let us now settle down to list the primary enquiry – ‘How to be sure, when love happens or hits you’ or, ‘What Does It Feel To Be In Love?’ – The Core Question About Incidence of Love.

What I am saying about the signs and symptoms of incidence of love is based on contemporary human knowledge of body-mind mechanism, history of emotions of humanity, archives of literature and collection of experiences of those who have been in stable committed love. All these make me list the signs and symptoms of incidence of love, which may answer the question – ‘How To Be Sure, When Love Happens Or Hits You’ or ‘What Does It Feel To Be In Love?’

At the very outset, we all need to admit that our own body-mind mechanism is a huge mystery and that is why it is our instinctive inclination to accept love as a magical mysticism. This mysticism feel about love is there because of our own body-mind mechanism. We say and talk a lot about ‘I’, the personal self but science says, ‘Consciousness, this effervescent sense of I is a huge mystery’. Science has only very recently started to understand as how our brain works when we are in love or happen to be in deep intimacy. Science however is yet to solve the complete mystery of consciousness, that is, how our brain produces this ‘sense of I’.

This somehow is the core hypothesis about incidence of love. Globally, scientists as well as psychologists engaged in researches of love say it – ‘Love is always a passive incidence, a happening in subconscious mind, a causality of conundrum.’

This means –

… When you are in a state of complete unpreparedness, when you feel you are utterly confused as to what has hit you and what’s happening with you, if you realize that your sense of ‘I’ is beyond your conscious control, if you think your otherwise poised sense of proportion has gone awry, if you feel that your instinctive sense of usual fear and frailty are not stopping you from doing risky things, if you are affirming that your sense of ‘I’ and sense of personal wellness has left you and all you can summon to your senses is ‘him/her’, if you accept that it is tough to even breathe normally and still you sort of enjoying it, if you