Incidence Of Love: Demystified And Decoded - Santosh Jha (books to read for teens .TXT) 📗

That is why, we all need to understand and accept; love needs huge preparedness. We all are given enough time for the preparations. When I am perfectly settled and in absolute ‘poise’ of my overall wellness homeostasis, then only I am ‘ready’ for assimilation and integration of love. Moreover, the special someone, I love, has to be in this ‘poise’ too. Then only the magic works!

A young father has his little daughter growing fast in a very big city of United States of America, where pop culture has taken the teenagers in perfect grip. The mother is very concerned and even tense. She worries for her teenage daughter and asks her husband, what to do to avoid any ‘accidents’. Nothing new! However, what the father of this teenage girl said to his wife is interesting. He said, “I am trying to figure out, what my daughter can do, which I cannot forgive. I love her and I think, the sky of my affection and compassion for her shall always remain much larger than her arms can stretch for possible wrongs.”

True love has to be like that. Love, in all its manifestations and expressions has to be like that. Love liberates, never suffocates. The ‘compassion’ of forgiveness shall always remain larger than the ‘accidents’ of ‘passion’, when you are in true love and absolute intimacy.

The father, in the above story, is in perfect ‘poise’ of his wellness homeostasis. His wellness is not threatened by his subjective ‘self-image’ of right and wrong. It is his poise, which is so beautifully and magnanimously reflected in his behavior and action. It is only natural that this father is a sure hero for the girl and this girl shall grow to be one ‘poised’ person.

From the day we are born, we are muffled by love, in one form or other. Our preparedness starts from that day. Initially, it is the responsibility of parents and family but later, we ourselves have to learn and unlearn our ways towards this ‘poise’ of our larger wellness homeostasis. If we have this poise, love shall be one huge theatre of song and dance within. And, when we choose to extend this wellness poise to someone special, we need to be sure, he or she is in the same ‘poise’.

Love, as an idea, deeply associated with the entity of homeostasis, is hugely beautiful and highly useful. Love is a mystical expression of the ‘sense of larger wellness’, which is a cardinal and potent condition for homeostasis.

What mind receives and expresses are through neurochemical and neuroelectrical processes. However, these processes are intangible and our conscious mind never is able to see or perceive them. It is when, these processes are translated in behavior and action then we understand and accept it. That is simply why; there is a sense of mysticism, in all our behavior-actions, which are expressed in subconscious state of mind.

The affectors of human emotions, which in turn impact the human mind’s decision-making choices of behavior-action are mostly intangible. That is why; there is a sense of mysticism and marvel around it.

Love also being an expression of intangible nature and essentially a neurochemical and neuroelectrical expression of the larger need of body’s homeostasis wellness, lands in the domain of mysticism, magic and marvel.

Love is an intangible and very subjective expression of emotions in terms of behavior-action to extend the domain of self’s homeostasis wellness in the ambient environment. When the self accepts and adopts something and someone as right and good for its homeostasis wellness, there is a neurochemical and neuroelectrical impulse to merge in as part of its larger ‘self’. This Process Is Body-Mind Consciousness Expressing In Terms Of The Emotion Of Love.

Love is essentially an extension of one’s ‘self’ and subjective consciousness to accept and accommodate a thing, idea or person in its fold. Therefore, love basically is a very selfish and self-indulged emotion, an expression of the self’s ever-present need to maintain its homeostasis. It is our higher consciousness, which assigns and aligns this ‘selfishness’ to lofty and noble values of life and living in societal space.

That is why it is very important to accept that incidence of love shall always be mired in conflation and conflict as it is like just the birth of a child, which we all nurture, evolve and mature in time with care and perseverance. Love too happens or delivered in precarious mode but needs to be evolved definitively. Love evolves in echelons, like consciousness, which rises up with the energy of unlearning…

Love is a mind-mechanism and process in the side of ‘self’, for enhancement and aggrandizement of the broader need of survival and wellness. When we explain love in these terms, we shall see that there is nothing that remains in the veil of mysticism, magic and marvel. Everything, even weirdest of action-behavior in love can be explained and understood in scientifically calculable ways.

A person’s homeostasis often accepts contradictory ideas. It is possible that a person is a devout faithful, still that person relishing an abusive tongue. It is all in the subconscious. It became ingrained in that person’s subconscious mind probably early in his childhood and now forms part of his or her larger wellness homeostasis. Therefore, this person would love another person, who has similar faith system, however, would not desist from using bad mouth to him or her as the subconscious mind is used to accepting the abusive tongue as ‘good’ and acceptable.

You may see a dualism and contradiction in it. You may think, if a person loves you, he or she should use nice language with you and should not be a boozer or a gambler. However, for that person, love is only an expression of his or her ‘self’ and his or her ‘self’ already accepts abuse and boozing as acceptable things for his or her wellness homeostasis.

If you attempt to reason it out with him or her that if he or she loves you, he or she should stop abuse and booze, he or she shall first of all look confused. He or she would not even understand why you are saying this. Because, he or she (his or her subconscious mind), does not see any contradiction and conflict in it. Most likely, he or she shall take your words of reasoning as a threat to his or her wellness homeostasis and would likely to go away. Nobody can compromise with his or her long preserved homeostasis.

Actually, this person loved you because you fitted in his or her larger scheme of homeostasis wellness. Now when you have put up ideas, which disturb his or her homeostasis, his or her sense of wellness is threatened and compromised. He or she is likely to stop loving you, or shall be unsettled and erratic in his or her action-behavior.

The subconscious mind is almost too obsessed with the idea of survival and homeostasis. That is why, when it is faced with some situation, which is unpredictable and for which it has no ready solutions, it shall start creating such ideas for ensuring his or her win and success, which shall be weird and even illusory. Not only that, it would also prompt the conscious mind to go ahead with those weird ideas in terms of action and behavior.

For example, when you ask someone you love deeply to do away with some nasty or not so good habit or idea with him or her. He or she would first resist it saying, ‘why do you want to change me?’ You may tell lot many things to convince him or her but with little success.

Consider, what this person’s subconscious mind can come up with. It can device a series of questions, which shall essentially be his or defense against the change you want. His or her subconscious mind shall create all possible patterns of action-behavior to ensure he or she wins against your suggestion for change. Homeostasis needs to always win for survival.

The person would ask:

Why is there a need for me to change, I am doing perfectly fine!

Why should you ask me to change, can’t you accept me as I am?

Why should I change and even if I have, why should I listen to you?

Oh! Do you think you are God! Even God cannot ask me that!

Why should I change if I am not convinced there is something wrong about it?

If I have to change, only I shall decide, no one has the right to judge me.

I am open to change but only for someone who first accepts me as I am.

I would change only for someone who loves me blindly.

I accept changes but it would be tough as I was made this way.

Give me time, I am a not good at it! Etc.

The general refrain of most people in love is, “why cannot you accept me as I am. The God accepts me and loves me the way I am, good or bad. Why can’t you? Are you greater than God? Love never puts conditions!” Etc.

Remember, the more intelligent a person is, more artistic and ingenious shall be his or her advocacy against change. More unsettled, ephemeral and indecisive one’s overall homeostasis is, more intense and vocally demonstrative he or she shall be in love. However, this person shall be tougher for you to change him or her and shall be equally demonstrative in denying changes.

This dualism needs to be understood. The unsettled homeostasis makes one to seek love more intensely, desperately and sincerely. Such love is usually highly demonstrative and aggressively centrifugal. Love is the emotion of search for larger wellness homeostasis and people, who have larger need for wellness poise, shall be very intense, highly possessive and overwhelming in love. This initially suits love needs of both the partners.

Everyone loves to be smothered and submerged in love’s intensity and its mystically disproportionate multidimensionality. However, this is the seed of big trouble-tree of love. If we wish to be swept away by the storm of love, we need also to be ready of the calamitous fallouts of this storm.

Love in its pure and pious form is never passionate but always compassionate. Love is a ‘well-poised’ consciousness positioning, an innate state of settled internal wellness, seldom in need of passionate and demonstrative expressions.

Love’s expression is like systemic serenity of ‘song and dance’ staged within a person’s consciousness. You shall come to relish and feel at peace with his or her innate song-dance positioning, without that person saying anything to you.

The higher consciousness, in compassionate possession of the settled wellness of love shall be calm and composed like a deep ocean and blue sky. Such a person shall be widely accommodative, assimilative and integrative towards everything, like an ocean and sky.

Compassion only assimilates; passion can often drift in the storm of disproportionate demonstrations of love. As we have talked about it earlier, humanity needs to ‘unlearn’ this old cultural cognition of accepting love as a ‘passion-positioning’. Love is essentially about compassion – this higher consciousness of ‘I’ and resultant assimilative cognition about mutuality priorities.

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CHAPTER 4

The Crucial Question – ‘How Can We Be Sure That We Love

Him/Her The Best Possible Way’, And The Right Answer…

How do we love best? How can we all be sure, we love people the best possible way? Most importantly, when we know love is very crucial for not only self but everyone around us, how can we be confident that love inside a person manifests and expresses itself in ways, which is optimal and ideal?

The conundrum, which is core element of all ‘self-belief’, is always extended to love too…! We are at the first count not always sure what true love is and therefore, the secondary confusion about how to express and institute love in best possible ways naturally is in the domain of confusion and conflict…

Somehow, the primary acceptance for all of us is that anyone’s personality has different elements and all elements need their right and appropriate expressions in life for wellness and excellence. These elements humanity