Incidence Of Love: Demystified And Decoded - Santosh Jha (books to read for teens .TXT) 📗

and is unapologetic about anything but the ‘best-fit’...

May be, this interpretation of soul-mate is a long-drawn one. May be, this parallel between ‘best-fit’ syndrome and soul-mate idealism is a mismatch. May be, some more psychologies can be responsible. Still, there seems to be a need to question ourselves. Is that true? Or not...?

As it is very tough to decipher how psychologies unravel themselves in the cognitive horizon of humanity, all possibilities of consciousness causalities may be listed. However, the message is very clear –

Incidence of love may happen between two people with little commonalities or possible compatibilities, yet, the lasting success shall only be a function of preserved personal as well as mutual inputs towards evolving better and larger compatibilities.

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CHAPTER 8

The ‘Larger Picture’ In Insinuations of ‘Cheating If Not Caught’

And Why Majority of Men And Women Wish It…

Such is human predisposition for sliced realism and so wired is our consciousness towards refusing the ultimate utility and worth of holism that we seldom see and accept the larger picture of life-living actualism…!

More interesting is the realism that even though we all know about such attitudes and perspectives of our lives, we seldom move out of our inertia and comfort zone to amend this core fallacy, which is the core trouble of most of our wellness crisis…!

There is this urgent need to bring this issue to the center-stage of human discourse, both at individual level as well as at collective domains…

Sample this –

A survey in USA says –

68 percent women said they would go for an affair, out of their current committed relationships, if they were assured they won’t be caught…!

Naturally, 74 percent men said the same thing…! One would have expected this figure to be higher for men…! However, contemporary times of equality levels up everything…!

Then, what is there for sliced up realism and what is the holism about it? What is the profile perspective and what is the larger picture that we often miss…?

Well, the part picture can be so many, as per individual choice –

Oh! People are really unreliable!

Hmmm… women too…!

No big deal… we are wired for that…!

It’s all cultural trouble…!

So what…! People have choices and they are free to avail them…!

Hmmm… that’s why marriages and relationships are doomed…!

God…! And, they say couples and marriages are made in heaven…!

Nothing new, I knew that…! Sex rules, admittance is better than hypocrisy…!

Etc…

Okay! What is then the holism? Is that combining all the above parts and accepting that whatever is the reality, it is and has to be accepted? Can holism be summation of parts...?

That is why there is this urgent need to bring this issue of ‘holism’ and human aversion to it and wired choice for sliced up realism at the center-stage of human discourse, at individual level as well as at collective domains; especially in matters of love and intimacy…!

Holism seems to start with the primary and over-riding question –

• Why Is What It Is? What Makes It Why It Is?

Somehow, the question of holism – The Larger Picture, is a systemic investigation into why the whopping 68 percent women and 74 percent men have this embedded desire for something more than what they have? Also, why this desire for availing some choice so ‘undermined’ and ‘inhibitive’ as men and women do not wish to be ‘caught’ availing it?

One can say that like wealth and other desires, enough is never enough and it is visceral to want more. Then, why is there this ‘inhibition’ of not wanting it publically? Why this desire to have more but not being ‘caught’ with this desire? Accepted that in contemporary world, having ‘more’ is the core creed but then, people on this planet, both men and women are actually flaunting their possessions and endowments more than what they actually have! So, why not flaunt this ‘inhibitive’ desire too…!

Often, such is the pop culture’s demand, young men as well as women, when they are not married or in a committed relationship, flaunt publically or in trusted circles as how many boyfriends and girlfriends they have! It is rather a status symbol now to have as many girlfriends or boyfriends as possible. More you have more ‘empowered’ one and others feel and accept you!

So, is there simply some hypocrisy playing its dubious game? Or is there something more deep-seated? This is the question of holism! The investigation of answers is the journey towards seeing and accepting the ‘Larger Picture’…!

Also try this. Science says – A man is not genetically wired to love two women at a time. He can say he loves two women but at a given time, one woman shall have to be clearly his favoured one. Women are supposed to be more wired to have single mate as per their evolutionary genetic choices…!

So, what makes the above data possible? This is the query of the ‘Larger Picture’…!

The critical idea is – Human nature and behaviors are outcome of his consciousness, which is so designed that it engenders beautifully mystical subtleties. Accepting and accommodating such subtleties in one’s worldview is the core creed of holism…

So, we may say, what these 68 percent women and 74 percent men are saying is something open to various interpretations but what may be accepted as core emotion, triggering such desire sans complications of wordsmithery is – Human needs and wants are multidimensional and multi-shaded. We have needs and we have wants. May be, what we need is not what we want or should want but desires are there and they speak of humanity’s ‘need’ to draw emotional and physical satisfaction in multidimensional ways too…

May be, what we say is not always we mean; at least in holistic sense…

For example, a survey said, ‘Only 2 percent women accepted themselves as beautiful’. Means, whopping 98 percent women thought they were not beautiful. However, this is not the reality, as words make us believe and accept. In the same survey, a huge majority of 95 percent women accepted that every woman has something or other as beautiful…

So, the idea is – what we say in words are just the reflection of multiple shades of mixed up emotions. Only a holistic ‘Larger Picture’ can assay a human emotion. Most humans accepted that beauty is in the eye of beholder. A great writer said, ‘Every woman is beautiful who is loved’. Therefore, if only 2 percent women say there are beautiful, it is just a shade of reality…

Similarly, when 68 percent women and 74 percent men say, they may make a certain choice, if not caught, then it may well be accepted as some shade of emotion, which is much larger than what few words can sum up…!

So what is the ‘Larger Picture’ or the ‘Big Emotion’ behind the ‘Option If Not Caught’ syndrome?

There is this need of a larger and sustained survey to get to the bottom of any conclusion as we accept that human nature and behavior is multidimensional and multi-shaded. However, there is one possibility, which we may consider –

May be, human satisfaction needs fulfillment of multiple and often mystically expressed varied ‘needs’ and ‘wants’. Therefore, may be, one person is not sufficient enough, for love, care and intimacy. Humans have been genetically inclined to be gregarious and very family oriented. We have tribal instincts, which dominate our nature and instincts. As we say, ‘It takes a whole village for a child to grow as a good man or woman’. This means, our emotional and intimacy needs are big and multidimensional. That is why, we had big families, where brothers, sisters, cousins, relatives and family friends together ensured that everyone’s emotional and intimacy needs were fulfilled. We now live in a society and culture, where it has boiled down to single kid family, single parent households, husband-wife family and nuclear family status. Moreover, relatives and society have become very competitive and hence kept at a safe distance. May be, we are in huge deficit of multiple shades of love-care-intimacy…!

That is why, we talked earlier about why and how we can probably say that the best possible ways to love anybody looks like a state of consciousness, where a person allows his or her lover the liberty and equality of all possible shades of emotions. As we said, this means – I truly love my woman when I am everything for her, imbibing all nine shades of emotions (Nau-Ras) in me for her – Being a father-figure, a mother-icon, a brother-figure, a friend, critic, lover, a Guru, a competitor, etc. At a particular situation, in the life-living of my woman, I may shift my roles as father-brother-lover-guru, etc as per ‘her’ emotional needs…

This however is just a probability. You are welcome to add to it…!

However, it remains a fact that there should always be ‘more’ and more than ‘more, when it comes to the love-care-intimacy ‘needs’ of men and women… Let there be a deluge of it all… And, let us not be shy of being caught…!

**

CHAPTER 9

The World Is Good or Bad, Love Is Real or Farce – The Hypothesis

Of Superpositioned Realism Of Quantum Consciousness

Often, many realism of life and living are so hugely multidimensional that it is easy for us to accept one single dimension of it and accept it as general truth. We all usually pick up some personal and subjective ‘hypotheses’, accept them to be true, and then go on to construct a ‘theory’ on the foundation of this hypothesis…

The interesting thing is – as realism often is so big and multidimensional that it has large size and share of both ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ or ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’. That is why, it becomes easy for anyone to cut a slice of this realism and accept it as his or her personal hypothesis. Once we accept this hypothesis as right, it is human mechanism to fight for the veracity of such subjective hypothesis to establish it as objective theory of human realism…

So, someone would say – ‘This world is so bad, people are so selfish, goodness is a falsehood, relationships are farce, money is everything, you are all alone in this big bad world as nobody loves nobody, etc’.

Then, somebody may say the opposite of it. Both hypotheses pertain to something, which is so huge and so multidimensional that it is very easy for anyone to prove the veracity of his or her mutually competing hypotheses. Yes, this world, life, relationships, people, human behavior, etc are so huge domains and there are more than 7 billion people adding shades into this realism. It is only natural that in such a huge sample size of over 7 billion people, anyone can hypothesize any situation as right or wrong, good or bad.

Moreover, what we are hypothesizing about is not a tangibility. They all fall in the domain of intangibility. That is why, it is equally easy for anyone to hypothesize it good or bad. However, others may bulldoze this subjective hypothesis with equal ease as both competing size have enough rough data to support their subjective perceptions. This happens because the sample size is huge and what we are dealing with is not tangibility but intangibility...

Most of such hypotheses are very subjective, based on opinions, conjectures, imaginations, hearsays, dogmas, ideologies, fantasies and fiction, having no singular measurable and proven basis.

So, when someone says – ‘This world is so bad and love is a farce’, how can we objectively test the validity of the hypothesis? Of course, one can single out sufficient data from over 7 billion people constituting the world and their behaviors in support of his or her hypothesis. But then, another person too can easily garner enough data opposing the hypothesis from the same ‘sample size’ of over 7 billion people, establishing that this same world is good and love rules most hearts…

Here, probably comes the idea of quantum consciousness – the quantum idea of superposition. Superposition means, a realism remains in all possible shades and shapes till it ‘collapses’, when someone observes it. So, this