Incidence Of Love: Demystified And Decoded - Santosh Jha (books to read for teens .TXT) 📗

caused mostly by humanity itself on humanity, this very ancient and transcendental idealism of ‘Redemptive Love’ has become much more relevant now…

The nature has never been kind to humanity. However, the brutality and afflictions caused by nature does not cripple and traumatize humanity as much than what it causes when evil human beings unleash them on fellow beings…

The terrors of starvation, torture, slavery, rape, murder and various forms of extreme and violent afflictions cause not only cause physical pain and sufferings, they do something, which psychologically destroys the whole society and cultures…

Someone said very aptly, ‘Afflictions caused by evil humans makes God appear to be absent for a time… What is terrible is that if, in this darkness and damnation where there seems nothing to love, God’s absence becomes final… If the soul stops loving, it falls, even in this life, into something, almost equivalent to hell… That is why, the evil humans, who plunge fellow humans into afflictions, kill their soul, before they are actually dead…’

In such a world, where human-unleashed terror is making souls dead and making love disappear, it is very important that we all rational and thinking people do our little bit in what we call ‘Redemptive Love’ – To restore the lost love in hearts and resurrect the souls, which are dead from human afflictions … The lost love needs to be redeemed and restored in the souls of humanity, which is facing untold afflictions in the contemporary world…

The billion dollar question is – What we as individuals can do to help the process of ‘Love’s Redemption’. Let us understand the redemptive process of love –

We can help the victim by making his or her afflictions sound and feel less painful and also lead them to accept their afflictions from a position of strength…

We can make the evil humans feel and see the wrongs and lead them to accept their wrongs. This is toughest, yet more doable…

No doubt, both are very difficult tasks as an individual has his or her own troubles and it is so tough to make others accept something, which does not seem there. That is why, redemptive love is associated only with Boddhisattvas (The awaked ones) or the God itself. In Hindu tradition, it is accepted that Lord Vishnu takes Avtaar for Redemption of Love on the Earth, whenever evil human forces unleash their terror and kill souls of humanity by their afflictions…

However, small things are always available for every individual to do and contribute. Good things need not be done in a missionary manner but small contributions are good enough. What we as individuals can do are –

Extending the Domain of Self or ‘I’ – In modern milieus, every individual is struggling with the needs and desires of the self. The sense of ‘I’ is becoming too restrictive and subconsciously squeezing the domain of self only to ‘Me’ and ‘Family’. By just extending the domain of ‘I’ to larger sense of belonging to fellow humans can help a big way in the process of ‘Redemptive Love’…

The Acceptance of Relativity and Empathy – Psychologists say, evil is not someone who inflicts pain on others but evil is someone who is blind about the very acceptance that what he or she is doing is wrong. That is why, acceptance that we all can be wrong is key human wisdom and accepting our wrongs goes a long way in building the castles of ‘Redemptive Love’. This very sense of relativity and this ability to step into the emotional shoes of others can enhance our compassion to such heights that this world can be a better place to live…

The simple code of ‘Love’s Redemption’ is – No human soul (Body and Mind) should live devoid of love. Love must remain in all hearts and minds as this only can ensure that our society and cultures have optimum levels of trust and faith. This is what we call God in our mind. God must never be absent from souls of humanity. This tragic and terrifying realism happens when love is absent from hearts…

The simple, yet very elusive point is – Love riding energy of passion derides and deprives love the most. As we have said earlier, true love is more about the assimilative and integrative element of compassion. Redemptive love is primarily about empathy…

We all can surely contribute hugely in this very recuperative process of ‘Redemptive Love’ by expanding the domain of our ‘I’ and be in acceptance mode of our own mistakes and wrongs. Anyone can be wrong as we all are humans. However, when we accept our wrongs, we turn into God as we then extend full-blown chance to redemption of love… Let us all do it…

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CHAPTER 7

Soul-mate Idealism: No Readymade ‘Made-For-Each-Other’ Eventuality

In Love And Intimacy – Mutuality Is A Persevered Personal Enterprise…

The person, you Love, has to be in perfect and profound wellness poise, otherwise, he or she shall never be in a consciousness of complete and perfect assimilation and integration, which love’s mutuality shall demand.

The person you love is not some other subject or object you think you hold dear and like. The fact is – the person you love is essentially the image of your own subject, your own self or consciousness, seeking another medium than your own body-mind to extend its domain. This is the expression of your intangible homeostasis need. It is therefore only natural that he or she, whom you love has to be a willing and highly navigable media, for easy and smooth assimilation into your ‘self-image’.

When two people in love are two brilliant, settled, poised, navigable, compassionately accommodative and malleable ‘media’, it shall be smooth and systemic assimilation of the two ‘selfs’ and two shall finally evolve to become one singular and symmetrical consciousness. This is the true success of love.

Only two higher consciousnesses can merge and melt into one consciousness…

Classical wisdom of Oriental spiritualism said – ‘Only generic and similar elements can have lasting relationship with each other. Therefore, for lasting wellness in intimate relationship, it is crucial that both man and woman have commonality of elements in their consciousnesses. If not, then mutuality enterprise is all about evolving together towards this commonality…

When this merger and assimilation happens, the two separate and exclusive ‘wellness needs’ become one singular and larger homeostasis. This ‘homeostatic love’ can never fail; it shall be the infinite success symmetry.

The onus of all these beautiful processes and evolution for the ultimate success of the ‘venture of love’ is on you. It is first your own preparedness, your own readiness for the start of the ‘venture’. It is also your responsibility to ensure that your special someone is also in the same state of readiness.

Never ever take love casually. You already know it, how love is so intrinsically and cardinally associated with your wellness poise. Love’s success can make your life. However, if love flops, it has a calamitous impact on you as it has the fatal effect of threatening your wellness homeostasis, which is essentially your larger sense of survival.

Always remember, mutuality in love is never a readymade equity, it is always made together with conscious elements of persevered enterprise.

There is this very populist idea of ‘soul-mate’, which presents a case as why every individual in love should put more premium on ‘personal-inputs’, rather than ‘readymade’ compatibilities.

It is a reality which many believe is unbelievable. Yet, the fact is that 73% of Americans believe in inevitability of the idea and pragmatism of soul-mates. A survey few years back points out –

More men than women believe that they are destined to find their one, true soul-mate (males: 74%, females: 71%).

79% of people younger than 45 believe in soul-mates, while only 69% of those over 45 do.

The data may be of America but it seems, there may be a similar factsheet almost everywhere. The factsheet apart, psychologists say that this belief of soul-mate is a huge trap. They say; if you believe that there is only one person for you, you are more likely to spend energy and time looking for that person instead of cultivating an existing relationship or a possible one.

Psychologists say, Destiny Believers have passionate, intense, short-term relationships, but often they become disillusioned and frustrated when something inevitably goes wrong. They believe in ‘deal-breakers’ and are constantly looking for the ‘perfect’ person. When something negative happens in the relationship they think, “Better move on and find my person.”

Growth Believers take a bit longer to commit. Even early in the relationship they are more motivated to find solutions, compromise or explore new ideas. They often view compromising as growth. When something negative happens in the relationship they think, “Better sit together and work this out.”

Psychologists say; people who believe in romantic destiny (soul mates) primarily look for positive emotional reactions and initial compatibility with a partner. They believe people either "click" and are meant to be, or they don't and should move on.

People who believe in romantic growth (cultivation) primarily look for someone who will work and grow with them, resolving conflicts as they arise. They believe that relationships can evolve with hard work and compromise, even in difficult situations. It is more like instituting more faith in power of personal as well as mutual investment of common sense than believing blindly in ‘destiny’ or readymade ‘Made-For-Each-Other’ eventuality…

So, what surveys and psychologists point out is – Overall, the message is clear, looking for perfect compatibility and a soul mate kills motivation to work at successful relationships with good partners. In the long run, adopting a belief in romantic growth and cultivation is much more rewarding, especially for those interested in long-term relationships.

Compared to soul mates, a belief in growth does take more work, effort, and a desire to change. So, to truly have a satisfying relationship, an individual must not only give up the search for a "perfect" partner, but also be willing to admit they are not always "perfect just as they are" as well. Only then can two people work together, grow, evolve, and meet each other's needs in the long run.

The psychologies apart, the crucial question is – It is not that people, especially young people do not know what the psychologists are pointing out. They too accept that nobody is perfect and growth in relationship is in evolving with whatever is at hand. Still, the key question is why such an overwhelming majority of 73 percent believe in inevitability of soul-mate?

It seems, it is somehow another shade of contemporary consciousness, which seems to be working towards this end. Psychologists may like to work on this shade of subconscious attitude, which works in favour of soul-mate. It is however a humble suggestion. People may check it out with their own consciousness and ask, is that true?

What seems to work behind this overwhelming soul-mate idealism is probably a contemporary sense of ‘empowerment’. Both men and women, especially young, feel that they are now empowered and endowed. They need nothing but best in their lives. They are brand aware and look for ‘fine-fit’ or to say the ‘best-fit’ in their lives. They feel, not any job would do but only that job is the option which ‘I want’ for myself. Not any car or any house would do. Only that would do, what ‘best-fits’ my current life-living position and status.

This ‘best-fit’ is deeply ingrained in the subconscious mind and we all feel, we have attained this much, we have done the hard-work and we deserve nothing but best. There is one something, which is right for me. This only shall do, not any fit shall do.

Once a girl said, ‘I am a scientist and I simply cannot think of my soul-mate being anything but a better scientist...!’ This syndrome of only the ‘best-fit’ for me seems to be behind this insistence over soul-mate.

A soul-mate is nothing but a perfect-fit or the ‘best-fit’ for me. The idea of a soul-mate is a ‘rigidity’ of worldview, which refuses to accept any fit. It insists on