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face or Iā€™m going to vomit. He sits on the bed but he doesnā€™t say anything. His phone rings it must be his mom because I hear him saying Iā€™m not feeling well so he wonā€™t be able to leave the house. As if he cares.

ā€œHave you eaten?ā€ I hear tenderness in his voice. But the tenderness doesnā€™t drive away the hate in my heart.

ā€œIā€™m sorry. I thought the baby wasnā€™t mine. And when I saw the muffin it was too lateā€

The more he speaks is the more I hate him. I didnā€™t know my heart could have so much hatred especially for someone whoā€™s my husband. He leaves the room. He comes back with food and my stomach grumbles. I havenā€™t eaten in 2 days. Heā€™s doing this because he lost the baby otherwise he wouldnā€™t even care.

ā€œCan I go visit my dad?ā€ I donā€™t know why Iā€™m asking for his permission but I ask for it anyway. He doesnā€™t answer me instead he leaves the room. He send maShezi to tell me that I can leave. I look at the time itā€™s 2pm. It means Iā€™ll travel all night. I donā€™t mind as long as I can see my dad. I take a long bath, make the bed and walk downstairs to eat. The fact that Iā€™m leaving this house even if itā€™s not forever makes me super happy. Iā€™m in the kitchen singing while making lunch.

ā€œIā€™ve never seen that side of yours. I was starting to think youā€™re always grumpyā€ Zweli comments when he walks into the kitchen. Leaving your house can put someone in a better mood but I donā€™t say that out loud or so I thought. Because I see the smile on his face being wiped out completely as soon as I finish that sentence.

When itā€™s time to leave, I run out the door. No time for goodbyes. Iā€™ll see them when I come back thatā€™s if I do come. Lucky for me when I get to the bus depot thereā€™s a single seat. Iā€™ve never used a bus before so I googled and most people recommend Greyhound. Iā€™m counting hours till I see my dad. Iā€™m planning on going to the workshop apparently thereā€™s a new guy. Iā€™m so happy I hardly sleep.

I keep checking the time. Iā€™m now counting minutes until we get to Park Station. Been up most of the night, I mustā€™ve fallen asleep. The bus driver wakes me up when we get to Park Station. I thank him and head out the bus. Itā€™s 6 in the morning. I walk to the taxi rank. An hour later, Iā€™m knocking on the door. Momo opens the door, sheā€™s very shocked and embarrassed. Iā€™m speechless but I smile and greet her. I find my dad in the kitchen, he chokes on his saliva when he sees me. I wanted to surprise him but clearly Iā€™m the one who got surprised. Iā€™m very excited to say itā€™s a beautiful surprise on my side. Momo tells me that sheā€™ll be out of my way. I tell her she can stay. I walk to my room, I take a bath. When Iā€™m looking through my suitcase, thereā€™s an incoming text and Zweliā€™s name pops. Why would he text me? I wait till Iā€™m fully dressed, then I walk over to the bedside table.

Zweli: Hey, I hope youā€™re home and you had a safe trip.

Why is he acting like he cares. I head to bed. My phone rings I look at the clock in the bedside table. Itā€™s 11:20. I have been sleeping for a little over 4 hours. Itā€™s Zweli, what does he want? I decide to ignore his calls. He stops after 7 missed calls. Thereā€™s a knock on the door, itā€™s my dad. He hands me his phone. He mouths itā€™s your husband.

I donā€™t want my dad asking more questions. I came here to rest.

ā€œHello?ā€

ā€œHello. I got worried when you didnā€™t take my calls. I thought something terrible happened to youā€

ā€œMore terrible than the rape and losing my babyā€ I ask him getting angry the nerve. He goes mute. I hang up make the bed. When Iā€™m done I look for my dad and I find him outside I give him his phone.

ā€œYou didnā€™t tell me you were comingā€

ā€œI wanted to surprise you. But it looks like Iā€™m the one who got surprisedā€ I reply pretending not to see Momo eavesdropping. My dad doesnā€™t say anything but heā€™s avoiding looking at me like he did something wrong.

ā€œBaba, I keep telling you that I donā€™t have a problem with you marrying another woman. I always wished youā€™d marry Momo. Sheā€™s been the closest thing to a mother. I told you years ago that I like her. This is your house no need to be embarrassed. I have one request thoughā€ he looks at me probably expecting me to say something bad.

ā€œWhat is it?ā€

ā€œMarry her as soon as possibleā€ I reply smiling. He sighs, heā€™s relieved.

ā€œI was afraid youā€™d never approveā€ Momo comments. I smile and I tell my dad that Iā€™m heading to the workshop. He drops me off.

ā€œHello?ā€ I call out when I get to the workshop. A young man walks over to me. He must be the new guy. I introduce myself. He also does the same. Heā€™s Samkelo, Simonā€™s nephew. I ask to help him he lets me. We chitchat the whole time and I enjoy his company. I leave around 4. I decide to walk home and I start feeling like Iā€™m being watched. I turn to look, I donā€™t see anyone but I can feel someone out there hiding in the shadows looking at me. Thirty minutes later, Iā€™m at home. I take a long bath. Momo cooked supper. They look so happy and in love. Makes me wonder how long theyā€™ve been together. Looks like theyā€™ve been seeing each other for longer than I thought. I hope my dad marries her. I know sheā€™s going to be the best wife ever.

I wash the dishes and I give them space. I go to my room and I call my twin brothers. I havenā€™t had time to call them and I doubt they have my digits. I decide to call Melo with the hope that they are currently together.

ā€œHello?ā€ he picks up just after 2 rings.

ā€œHey little brother. Itā€™s Zekhetheloā€

ā€œHold on Iā€™m putting you on speakerā€

ā€œHello sisā€ Iā€™m thinking itā€™s Lindo.

ā€œWe are glad you calledā€ they talk at the same time. Judging by their tones, they sound excited makes me feel guilty for not calling sooner. We talk for over an hour. We hang up with the promise to see each other this weekend which is only 2 days away.

For the past 2 days, Iā€™ve been helping Samkelo at the workshop. He tried to make a move on me but I told him Iā€™m a married woman. He backed off and Iā€™m glad he didnā€™t take the rejection in a bad way.

Melo and Lindo come by at 7am to fetch me. I take my overnight bag. I say goodbye to my dad with the promise to see him tomorrow. We get to the flat and we find Nonhle and Joe. Day spoilt so early in the morning. I greet them but I donā€™t say anything. I donā€™t even ask how they are doing because I donā€™t care.

ā€œIā€™m glad you are building a relationship with your brothersā€

ā€œYeah, Iā€™m also glad you put what happened between us and your father asideā€ Joe also comments. Itā€™s the first time Iā€™m hearing his voice and I hate it already. I decide to ignore them. Thereā€™s so much awkwardness in the room and I see the twins squinting on their seats.

ā€œI was hoping I could have some time alone with my brothersā€ I tell them and I see tears in Nonhleā€™s eyes. I hope she holds them back, Iā€™m not in the mood for this.

ā€œMom and dad regret what they did to your dad. Youā€™ve punished them enough. I was hoping youā€™d clear the air with them so we can move on and have a good relationship. Iā€™m sorry but we canā€™t have a relationship with you until you clear the air.ā€ Lindo comments. Melo is quite like he isnā€™t in the room with us.

ā€œI told Nonhleā€¦ā€

ā€œMomā€ Lindo corrects me.

ā€œYeah, sheā€™s your mom. I told Nonhle that I forgive her. But if you wonā€™t have a relationship with me because I refuse to build one with her. Then weā€™ll continue to be strangersā€ I tell them. And then I turn to Melo and ask him to bring my bag when he returns with it, I leave.

I get home after 3 in the afternoon. I decided to go to a mall. Whoever was watching me the other day. Heā€™s still watching me.

ā€œI thought you were coming home tomorrowā€

ā€œYeah, but Joe and Nonhle were thereā€ I continue telling my dad and Momo what they said. I was hoping Iā€™d spend some time with my dad before I go back to my jail. Melo decides to text me.

Melo: Hey sis. Iā€™m sorry about earlier. I didnā€™t know mom and dad would be at the flat. What mom did to you was very wrong and terrible. I hope one day youā€™ll fully forgive her and my dad. But I donā€™t want that to get in our way of building a relationship. Iā€™ll be in Durban for the next 2 months I was hoping weā€™d meet.

When Iā€™m about to reply. Zweli also decides to text.

Zweli: when are you coming back?

My God, I havenā€™t been here for long and he is Zweli texting me.

I reply to Meloā€™s text first telling him that Iā€™d like to spend more time with him. He should call or text me as soon as he gets to Durban. Then I text Zweli telling him that Iā€™ll come back after 2 days.

                        ***

Itā€™s time to go back to Zweliā€™s place. My dad and Momo decide to drop me off at Park Station. They kiss me goodbye. I wave when Iā€™m at the luggage room. The bus will leave at 7pm and the expected arrival time is 4am. I donā€™t know my way to Zweliā€™s place but I know that I wouldnā€™t get lost. I get the feeling that anyone can direct me to his house. I take out my ipad and listen to my music. When itā€™s time to leave. I get uneasy. Iā€™m being watched. I hope Zweli will be at the depot like he promised. As much as I hate him, I donā€™t want to be kidnapped and worse get killed before my family can find me. I know they wouldnā€™t even know where to start. They donā€™t have the money and the resources. But I know Zweli is powerful and well equipped he can find me in a matter of hours. My phone pings which makes me jump. Iā€™m not used to getting texts or calls. Itā€™s Momo.

Momo: I was scared you wouldnā€™t approve. The stuff you said to your dad mean the world to me. I smile at this text.

Me: Thanks for choosing my dad *smiley face*

I fall asleep and wake up when the bus stops at the depot. I get off and I look for Zweli heā€™s not here. I check the time itā€™s 5am. I stand here for 30 minutes heā€™s still not here. I call him he doesnā€™t pick up. I walk outside maybe he parked and fell asleep while waiting. Wrong move.

I feel someone standing too close. Then I feel a very sharp pain in my neck and I black out.

Chapter 5

I open my eyes and I feel dizzy. I look around and then I remember what happened. I wonder how long I have blacked out. A very beautiful lady walks in. Smiling cruelly. Iā€™ve never seen her before. Iā€™m a nobody why would anyone kidnap. Unless Zweli is punishing.

ā€œHubby hasnā€™t stopped calling youā€ the lady tells me. I try to talk but my throat is so dry. I

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