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just blink away the tears. She tells me I can cry all I want she doesnā€™t care. She tells me Iā€™ll pay for humiliating her. Her voice has so much venom I shake.

ā€œIs this the woman Zweli left you for?ā€ a guy around Mpumeleloā€™s age asks, when he enters the room. ā€œSuch a plain looking girlā€ he continues when the lady gives her a dirty look.

ā€œWhat do you want me to do with her?ā€ he asks walking with a glass of water towards me. I want to apologise to the girl and tell her that I didnā€™t want to marry Zweli but he killed my boyfriend and threatened to kill my dad if I didnā€™t. But instead I keep quiet. The look on her face tells me that no amount of begging or money can change her mind. I know Iā€™m not going to come out of this place alive. I keep quiet while they are discussing ways to kill me. If they want to frighten me, well they are doing a very good job. I didnā€™t ask Zweli to leave her for me. I read this other facebook about a year ago some girl saying something like when a guy leaves you for an ugly girl itā€™s insulting. So I know I donā€™t hold a candle to this one why is she mad?

ā€œI feel like shooting her right nowā€ she screams.

ā€œNo, donā€™t you dareā€ says a guy walking into the room. I smile thinking at least someone has some conscious but he continues. His comment wipe the small smile on my face.

ā€œI just got this carpet installed last month. I donā€™t want any stains on itā€ thatā€™s when I notice no one is wearing shoes. Is he a clean freak or something? He tells them that if they want to kill me theyā€™ll have to do it somewhere else. The carpet guy introduces himself as Sthembiso, he introduces the other as Thami then the lady as Amandla.

ā€œI was one of Zweliā€™s competitor. My empire crumbled when he stole my clients. He knows in this kind of business getting married is a very bad move. But he went on to marry you. I didnā€™t believe it when they told me he was married. Heā€™s the first guy to hide his wife. But judging by your face, Iā€™d hide you tooā€ they all laugh and he continues. ā€œHe thought keeping you a secret will help him but we found out anywayā€ he doesnā€™t tell me how and what kind of business he runs. He looks like a thug. I donā€™t want to get in trouble so I just keep quiet. Marrying Zweli alone has put me into trouble. I always avoided any kind of trouble. I never stand up for myself. I just keep quiet like Iā€™m going to keep quiet now.

ā€œKeeping quiet wonā€™t get you out of troubleā€ Amandla sneers. The Sthembiso guy hates Zweli and he has a reason. But Iā€™m confused by Amandla, Iā€™ve never seen her but she hates me so much.

ā€œI donā€™t even know you yet you hate me so much. Whatever I took away from you?ā€ I comment in a bored tone. Because Iā€™m bored by her behaviour. Sheā€™s acting all bitchy yet I donā€™t even know her.

ā€œDonā€™tā€¦ā€ she slaps me so hard I almost fall off the chair.

ā€œAmandla stop making a fool of yourself. Zweli was using you. We warned you, you never listenedā€ Thami tells her dragging her out of the room.

            ***

These people have kept me for over 2 weeks and they havenā€™t done anything but drug me. I havenā€™t seen Amandla since that day. Thami is the one who keeps coming.

ā€œToday we want you conscious. We want to send that husband something that will hurt him. He must be looking all over for you. Or notā€

They walk into the room with big cameras, a bed and some plastics. I wonder what the occasion is. They unchain me and they tell me to take a bath. I comply. I really needed a bath. After 30 minutes I walk out. They tell me to take my clothes off. I donā€™t. Everything is set like they are going to shoot a video and it looks like Iā€™ll be the star.

Thami walks towards me and he rips the clothes off me. I hope they are not going to rape me and record the whole thing and then boom my face is all over porn sites. Itā€™ll break my dadā€™s heart more than mine. I donā€™t know what to do. After making sure I was naked he tosses me on the bed and then Sthembiso starts to take off his clothes starting by the belt and when heā€™s fully naked he gets into this massive king size bed so slow like a lion approaching its prey. He pins me down, I try to push him away but he slaps me so hard I almost faint and then he rapes me. And when heā€™s done he smiles at me.

I donā€™t cry not while they are in the room. As soon they shut the door. I cry. This is really too much. I knew marrying Zweli will put in trouble. But I had to do it for my dad. I know heā€™d also do anything to make sure I stay alive and that Iā€™m happy. If I could be half the parent that he is, itā€™d be really great. I know they are worried sick about me. I quickly wipe the tears using the back of my hand when someone walks in. Itā€™s Amandla, sheā€™s laughing.

ā€œYou knew marrying him will come with all sorts of stress and trouble. But you did anyway.ā€

ā€œI really didnā€™t want to marry him. But he killed my boyfriend and sent me the pictures. Then he threaten to kill my dadā€ I donā€™t why Iā€™m telling her this. She looks stunned like she doesnā€™t believe me.

ā€œSo you donā€™t love each other?ā€ she asks. This lady is dumb. I donā€™t know why Zweli married me but it has nothing to do with love. Whatever he saw me only God knows. Like Thami said Iā€™m plain. And Iā€™m not rich, why me of all the girls in the world.

She leaves and I decide to sleep on the carpet they didnā€™t even leave that bed. Iā€™m so exhausted both physically and emotionally.

                        *

According to Sthembiso Iā€™ve been here for a little over a month. And they drug me the whole time. They have bigger plans for me. Apparently they want to hit Zweli where it hurts. They shouldā€™ve taken his mom or brothers not me. Zweli mustā€™ve married me for this.

 

I wonder if Melo went to Durban. Maybe he thought Iā€™m ignoring him after what went down that day. They havenā€™t fed me in 3 days and I feel so weak. Even though I hated Zweliā€™s place at least he fed me. I close my eyes and picture my dadā€™s wedding just to escape my current situation. I donā€™t know why they havenā€™t drugged me for the past 3 days but I hope they do today. It helps me escape reality. Being unconscious really helps. But I donā€™t have to wait for long. Sthembiso walks in, he tells me that the big day has finally arrived. Zweli wonā€™t know what hit him. And then he drugs me. I black out thinking and hoping that if I ever make it out of here. It wonā€™t be too late. Judging by the amount of syringes theyā€™ve injected me with, Iā€™ll be super lucky if I donā€™t become addicted.

I donā€™t know how long Iā€™ve blacked out. I slowly open my eyes, Iā€™m in a Hospital and all sorts of machines are attached to my body. I donā€™t remember what happened but for some reason I feel safe. I try to move but I canā€™t. I fall asleep again and when I open my eyes. I see Zweli staring down at me and tears begin to fall. Iā€™m too stunned to say anything. We just look at each other and then he hugs me so hard I almost think I will suffocate and die. Finally he lets go and he takes both my hands into his and he asks in a soft voice if Iā€™m okay. I know I hate him, but Iā€™ve never been happy to see him. He tells me itā€™s going to be okay but I doubt. After everything I went through in that house, I really doubt. But I just nod. He fills me in and he tells me that he didnā€™t tell my dad he found me. He wanted to wait until he was sure itā€™s me. I can only nod.             

                        **

My Doctor tells me that Iā€™ll be discharged in a week. My family couldnā€™t come this time. My granddad is very sick and theyā€™ve been helping my grandma and my dad. Apparently our car crashed killing Amandla, Thami, Sthe and the driver. I survived because I was in the boot. I was heavily drugged. I wonder where they were taking me to. But Zweliā€™s family and Melo are all here. Iā€™m so happy to see all of them.

ā€œI have some very good news for you. I got you a jobā€ Sizwe tells me smiling. I canā€™t help but smile back. Soon itā€™s time for them to leave itā€™s so sad but at least Iā€™m being released in a week. Zweli kisses my forehead before he leaves.

Zweli comes alone in the next 2 days. His mom and brothers decided to go visit my granddad. They are so sweet. I wonder why Zweli isnā€™t like them. He takes me to his house. He cooks my favourite food chicken and rice. Itā€™s so delicious, it almost makes me forgive him for everything. But then again, I remember that if Zweli waited at the depot like he promised I wouldnā€™t be in this mess. As soon as that thought crosses my mind, I lose my appetite. Zweli is busy typing on his laptop he doesnā€™t even see that I stopped eating. I want to go home.

ā€œWhatā€™s wrong?ā€ instead of answering, I stand up and move away from him as far as I can. I canā€™t stop the stupid tears. He doesnā€™t move he stares me like I just popped another head. He probably has never seen a woman cry. He stands there looking at me. And then he takes his phone and he taps a few times.

ā€œMama itā€™s Zekhethelo, sheā€™s crying I donā€™t know what to do. Usually when a woman cries I take her shopping. But now I have a feeling that itā€™s not going to workā€ he says that last statement as a question. I donā€™t know what his mom is saying but he looks so uncomfortable and he asks if she canā€™t just come over. After he hangs up he walks towards me looking like heā€™s about to cry too. He hugs me and that makes me wail. He takes a step back and then he looks at me like heā€™s not sure whether to hug me or what.

He wipes my tears using his thumb and then he hugs telling me itā€™s going to be alright.

ā€œIā€™ll keep you safeā€ he tells me in a calm and caring voice. I feel bad for even thinking he had a hand in that.

                  ***

Even though Zweli promised to keep me safe. I donā€™t feel safe. I donā€™t even want to be left alone in the room. We didnā€™t sleep at all. I keep following him around the house. Even when he has to use the bathroom for number 2. He didnā€™t feel comfortable at first but he got used to it. When itā€™s my turn to use the bathroom he stands outside the door and he keeps talking so that I know heā€™s there.

ā€œIf you donā€™t hurry weā€™ll be very lateā€ he tells me walking into the room.

I donā€™t answer him. We are visiting my granddad today. My dad called Zweli to tell him that he got worse and the Doctor said

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